These Dreams
by jbluvs2sing
Summary: It's been 3 years since Edward left Bella in the woods...she is moving on but is still plagued by nightmares from time to time. Will someone from her past help her get through her difficult times? What dangers lie ahead for her? Will her dreams come true?
1. Chapter 1

**These Dreams**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter One

"NO!" I screamed sitting up in my bed. My bed…in MY apartment near campus. Another dream. These dreams have plagued my existence since HE left three years ago. Will they ever stop? Was I to be tortured with them for the rest of my life? I was finally out on my own, about to start college, and I was hoping I could leave the dreams behind. Evidently I was wrong.

The dreams used to be the same every night…running after someone who wasn't there. Over the years they had changed. I was no longer running, searching for my lost love, now someone was watching me. Who it was I didn't know. I never saw his face. I just knew he was watching me. It was an eerie feeling…someone watching you. The dreams were always the same. What were they trying to tell me?

Beep Beep. My alarm clock went off. I rolled over and pushed the snooze button, although I knew I wouldn't go back to sleep. I was too busy analyzing my dreams…again.

_I am in the meadow…our meadow…I am wearing a flowing white linen dress. My skin is pale, but not paler than it is now. My eyes are still brown, so I know I am still me…I am not dead, not a vampire. It is dark; however the full moon lights up the grassy earth making it glow. What is strange is that I know I am being watched. I can just barely make out movement in the trees. _

"_Who's out there?" I whisper._

_No sound. Everything is still. There is something out there. Something watching me. Whatever it is draws me toward the forest. I can't resist it. I have to find the being watching me. I have to see his face._

What makes me think it was him? I didn't know. I couldn't imagine anyone else watching me. He was always so protective of me. At least my heart was hoping it was him. The dream always ended the same.

_I start running for the trees and suddenly my feet are off the ground and I am falling._

Just before I land, I wake up. Always screaming, always sweating.

My dreams had at least lessened for a while. When I was with Jake, they were almost bearable. He was my best friend and my personal sunshine. He helped me put the pieces of my life together after they left. I was a broken, comatose girl and Jake helped me get my life back. As long as we were together, the dreams didn't bother me as much.

There was a time, however, when I thought I had lost him too. I had called him after our movie night over a year ago with Mike and he had said he didn't feel well. I thought he had the stomach flu. Boy was I wrong. Little did I know that my Jacob was going through a change that neither of us had expected. He ignored me for a while until I decided to confront him. It wasn't until he snuck into my room later that evening, speaking in riddles, that I put the pieces together. Jacob was a werewolf.

Jake. What would I do without him? He was and still is my personal savior. I know that I can call on him and he will be there. I loved him, not as much as he loved me, but I did love him in my own way. No one would ever match the love that I had lost, but Jake came close. He was a constant companion that first year, helping me put the pieces of my heart back together. We laughed, cried, and loved each other. It was Jake that showed me what real love was. I eventually gave everything to him. Everything.

Because of Victoria, Sam had the pack patrolling my house at all times. Jake took the night shift and knowing he was out there watching me made me feel safe. If I had one of my dreams, he would be there, holding me, telling me everything would be alright. He wouldn't leave until I was asleep again.

As time went on, the walls around my heart started to fall. It started simply enough, with just a quick brush of my lips on his one night after one of my nightmares. It had startled him and he had left my room in a hurry that night; not waiting for me to fall asleep again.

A few evenings later, he was in my room again, calming my heart as I cried in his warm embrace. I looked up and as he dried my tears, I reached for him again. This time there was no shock, no hesitation on his part. His lips moved with mine…so soft…so very warm…unlike my kisses in the past.

Our relationship progressed over time. There wasn't a night when he wouldn't sneak in and give me a sweet kiss before going out on patrol. There were even times when I would wake up to his kisses in the morning. I loved Jacob. I was beginning to feel whole again. My dreams, however painful they were, had brought us closer together, and soon we were closer than ever before.

I'll never forget that night. I had relived the worst day of my life in my dreams. I woke up screaming and crying at the same time. Immediately Jake was in my room to hold me and quiet my racing heart.

"Shhh. Bella, it's okay. It was only a dream. I won't let anything happen to you. You are safe." he said as he gently stroked my sweat soaked hair.

"When will they ever stop? I can't take it anymore!" I said as my arms clutched Jake's torso. He was so warm, his skin so smooth. I held on to him as if my life depended on it.

"I don't know, Bella. But I promise you, I will never leave you alone." He pulled back looking into my eyes. "Never."

His thumb slowly wiped the last of my tears away. As I looked at him a sudden sense of urgency hit me. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips to mine. The fire that ignited in me was so different from what we had shared in the past. I kissed him like I had never kissed him before. I teased and pulled on his bottom lip with mine. I was hungry for him. I felt a moist pool of wetness between my legs, and a throbbing in my core.

"Bella." He groaned, as his hands made their way to my waist. His groan just pushed me further. My tongue grazed his bottom lip begging for entrance. I wanted this. I wanted him. I needed to feel loved. I needed Jake.

"Make love to me Jake," I sighed as my hands roamed over his perfectly formed chest. "Please?"

He pulled back, looking at me with questions in his eyes. "Are you sure? I want to Bella, don't get me wrong. Nothing would make me happier, but are you sure?"

"Yes. I need to feel you, Jake, all of you. Help me Jake…Please?"

No other words were said. He took my lips with his own and passionately kissed me until I couldn't breathe. His hands slowly moved under my tank top, grabbing the bottom and pulling it over my head, breaking the kiss. I quickly took a breath and attacked his lips again. They felt so good. They were soft and warm and moved with mine so perfectly.

I pressed my naked skin to his, letting his warmth heat me to my core. He felt so good. We fit together. It was right. He slowly lowered me to the bed never breaking the passionate kiss we were sharing. Soon we both realized we needed air. He looked into my eyes, moving my hair to the side of my face. He was stroking my cheeks, my nose, and my forehead. A smile slowly found his mouth and worked its way to his eyes. He never had looked so beautiful.

His hand moved down to my neck, then my shoulder. He stopped, unsure of whether or not to go on. I took his hand in mine and placed his hand on my naked breast giving him the permission he was asking for with his eyes. He was so gentle, kneading my breast, teasing my nipple. He kissed me again and moved down my neck and began suckling my chest. The heat his kisses generated made me arch my back and moan his name.

I could feel his arousal against my leg, and it made me want him more. As he was working on my breasts, I put my hands on him feeling his hardness. He groaned and moved to my side. I helped him take his sweats off while he continued lavishing my body with kisses. It wasn't long before we were both naked, pressed hard against each other.

He moved over me so that he was on top and gently spread my legs. His hardness was at my entrance. His fire against my fire. He teased my bud with his tip making me shudder in pleasure. He slowly entered me and as I got tighter he took his time. I knew the first time would hurt, I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for was the passion that he ignited in me as he pushed past my barrier. He moved slowly at first and we quickly found our rhythm. We moved together as one. This was how it was supposed to be. I felt him, all of him, inside me and it felt so good. Our rhythm changed and I was feeling a tingling in my stomach. An ache that needed to come out. I was on fire and about to explode. My orgasm hit me hard and soon Jake followed behind me with his outcry. He was a wolf howling at the moon.

Our breathing slowed and we feel asleep in each other's arms. I was safe. I knew I would be as long as Jake was there…

Even after he imprinted three months later on Alexis, a raven haired beauty with haunting green eyes, I knew he would never leave me. I knew he would always be my best friend; an imprint wouldn't change the fact that he loved me, it just changed the way he loved me. He had a new priority in his life; however I knew what we shared was special. It still hurt, and for a while I was lost, but at least he still existed and didn't try to erase himself from my life.

I looked at the clock…7:30..."Great!" I muttered to myself. Not a good way to start college. Late for my first class. I quickly made my way to the shower, washed last night's sweat off of my body and washed my hair with the same strawberry scent I was used to. Some things never change. Over the last 3 years that was the one thing that I couldn't give up. It was a part of my routine that was there before HE ever came into my life. I clung to those things. The things that used to make up my life before him.

I put on my usual t-shirt and low-rise jeans and tennis shoes, grabbed a banana from my kitchen and headed out the door. Today was the beginning of my new life. I was stepping out into unchartered territory. College life.

"You can do this, Bella." I said to myself as the familiar Washington rain pelted my umbrella.

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A/N: I have done some editing...thank you Admittedly Obsessed for all of your help...and I feel that this particular chapter sounds so much better than it did when I first put it up. I plan on editing the rest of the story as I go along. Thank you for reading...don't forget to review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Chapter Two

Immortality. It can be a curse. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of it that way. My human life is nothing but a blur to me now, however, being immortal, everything…every action taken since my change has been forever imbedded into my brain. I can't will it away. The memories are a constant reminder of the monster I am. I can't go back and change the decisions I have made, the decisions that hurt those closest to me. I will not go back and beg forgiveness. It isn't in me. My pride won't let me.

Three years. Not long when you have lived so many already, but for me these past three years have been the longest in my existence. I travel alone, not because I have to, but because I can't face the disappointment on their faces. I know they would take me back in a heartbeat…no pun intended. My decision to leave was mine and mine alone. I will not be the cause of any more pain and suffering to my family. So I have traveled from place to place, never really making a home, there is no home for me. I am a monster.

I have kept away from humans. Not because I couldn't control myself…my control has never been stronger, but mainly for fear of getting close to another again. I couldn't allow myself that freedom. The one time I let my guard down…got close…had cost me too much. No one would be allowed past the walls I have built up now. I feel nothing towards them. I am nothing.

Every few months or so I would call and let them know I was still alive. Alice, as always, would say it isn't the same without me there, but none the less understood why I had to stay away. She always knew me better than anyone else. Esme, in her motherly way, would try to convince me to come home, but would quickly realize she was talking to a brick wall when it came to that subject. Eventually I knew I would go home, but it would have to be on my terms, no one else's. Carlisle would utter his support for my decision, as any good father would do, by telling me that even though I wasn't there I was in his thoughts and prayers. Leave it to Carlisle to be praying for my non-existent soul. The others would provide some small talk, always avoiding anything dealing with what had happened before. It was probably a good thing my gift didn't work over the phone. I didn't want to carry the pain and guilt from them too.

I have decided just recently that my lonely existence wasn't doing me any good, so I applied for a teaching position at Seattle Pacific University. Not that I needed a job…I had money…but I was beginning to feel a little trapped by my loneliness and needed to get back to life. I needed to try to get past what had happened, put myself back out there, even though the idea of it scared the hell out of me. My walls were up, but I knew that my kind needed _some _kind of companionship and I wasn't ready to go home just yet. I could probably have enrolled as a student myself, but I had been down that road before and needed something that I could do that would add some meaning to my life. Teaching seemed like the road to travel. I could slowly get back into the real world with still some protection from getting to close to it. Student/teacher relationships were usually kept at arms length. I wasn't about to cross the line. It was the perfect way for me to meet new people without having to get too close.

Seattle Pacific was a small campus; at least I considered it small, with small classes. I figured that by teaching here I wouldn't be as side tracked by my gift or should I say overwhelmed by it. I had learned over the years to block unwanted things from my mind, but I still didn't want to overwhelm myself after being so secluded the past three years. I was going to teach one class this semester but I hoped that I would prove myself worthy to teach some others come spring term. I needed to have something to help make the time move. One class was better than none at all so I jumped at it. It was a subject matter that was very close to me. A freshman class that was listed as an elective, so I knew those students who signed up to take it would be interested in the subject matter as well.

I walked into my assigned room for the fall term and looked around. Tinted windows lined the wall to my right allowing minimal light to shine in, just as I had requested. It wouldn't look good if the teacher walked through a ray of sunshine…however few and far between they were…to cast rainbows around the room. That would be a difficult thing to explain away. The back wall was bare and was large enough to display the pictures and photographs that would enhance my lectures, and to my left was plenty of room for some bookshelves for the books that we would be using during my time here. There were a handful of desks, the old kind, wooden with an attached desktop, scattered hap hazardly around the room. It was a blank canvas waiting for me to put my male touches on it. I smiled as I thought of what Alice would say if she knew I was thinking this way now.

I set my heavy bag on the desk and set out preparing the room. I turned on the lights and drew the shades on the windows and began working on the desks. I knew that in no time the room would be ready if I worked as fast as I could, however, I wanted to take my time and kill as much time as humanly possible. There were 30 wooden desks that I decided would be set up in rows. I know, not exciting, but I knew that the seating arrangement would change once we got into the meat of my class. The first few weeks would be lectures and this arrangement was best suited for that. It wasn't like they were in kindergarten and needed to be in groups to develop social skills.

Two hours later, my room was complete, and ready for the first day of class. A large map and smaller pictures now decorated the back wall and my extensive library filled the bookshelves I had found in a storage room down the hall. My desk was pushed to the darkest corner of the room and had a small but useful table lamp set up to illuminate the darkened area. The desks were lined up in five rows of six facing the white board at the front of the room where I had written my name. I had pulled my new name out of the air. I didn't want to be known by the name I had been associated with for so many years. I couldn't risk my family members finding me. I had searched the internet and settled on the one that was now written in black.

I turned out the lights, took a deep unnecessary breath and closed the door. My nerves were getting to me and I hadn't even started yet. I turned around only to nearly run into someone passing by. "Pardon me. I didn't see you there."

"So you're the new teacher?" the woman said. She was strikingly beautiful with brunette hair that ran past her shoulders and startling blue eyes. I could tell she was trying to come up with something to say so I decided to introduce myself.

She replied to my introduction by stating "My name is Kirsten Solomon. I will be teaching a few classes down the hall. It is nice to finally meet you. I have heard so many good things about you." she said as she held out her hand in greeting.

I looked at her hand and decided that it wasn't in my best interest to shake it. I didn't need to try to explain to her about why my hand seemed so cold. I smiled as warmly as I could, hoping the smile met my eyes. "I didn't realize I had such a following. It is nice to meet you, Kirsten."

She blushed ever so slightly and I realized how similar she was to someone from my past. The only difference was her eyes. I couldn't seem to stop staring into them. They were the color of the sky and I swear I could see into her soul. "A few of us were going to head across the street to grab a bite to eat. Would you care to join us?" she asked.

"Thank you, but I had better be going home. Can I take a rain check?" I didn't want to seem rude and this woman captivated me. The thought of spending time with her was appealing, however I was afraid to go too fast. It had been a while since I had been around any humans. I thought it best to go home and get myself together. Another time would definitely be better.

She hung her head, blushed again and quietly said, "Okay. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow then." She turned and walked down the hall. I hadn't moved, struck by how gracefully she walked. There were similarities in looks but that was where the similarities ended. This woman had grace oozing from her pores. As she reached the door to what I presumed was her room, she turned to look at me and smiled before she opened the door to walk inside.

My emotions ran wild and I had to shake my head to clear it. I turned around and quickly…probably too quickly…left the building and headed for home. I needed a cold shower to clear my head.

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A/N: Okay…there you have it…chapter two. I have to tell you...I have never been to Seattle Pacific University, so I really don't know if the classes are small or not. I just liked the fact that it was a relatively small campus (45 acres). My college used to play them in sports and we were a small university so that is what I based my story on. Please review. It helps boost the ego. :)

**I am still toying with the story. Things happened in this chapter that I wasn't expecting so I am just going with the flow. I know where I want to go and hopefully I will be able to get there. The next chapter will be from Bella's POV and should shed some light on whose POV I was using here.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Chapter Three

BPOV

The rain which would have dampened my spirits three years ago, somehow had a calming effect on me now. I guess it could be attributed to the time I spent in Forks…the good and the bad. I remember praying for rain during my happy times, for those were the times I knew I would see Edward. Thinking about him wasn't quite as painful as it used to be. My heart still ached for him, but that ache was duller than the pain I had experienced that first year after he left. I knew I was stronger. I was a better person because I knew and loved him…who was I kidding? I still loved him, and I knew I always would. There would always be a place in my heart that was reserved for only Edward. Gone are the days, however, where I would just lie down and let the pain consume me. I was better than that.

"It will be as if I'd never existed." He had told me. Did he really think my mind was so shallow that I could EVER forget him? Did he really think that I could go back to my life the way it was before he had so gloriously entered it?

The dull pain in my chest forced me to stop and take a breath. My life was definitely different than before I met Edward Cullen and his wonderful family. I don't think anyone could get back what they were before loving and losing their soul mate, but I was trying. Everyday a struggle, and the dreams didn't help, but I had my best friend, Charlie, and even Renee to lean on if I needed to.

My cell phone buzzed in my pocket and I smiled as I answered the phone. "Hi, Jake."

"How are you doing today, Bells?" he asked, "on your way to class?"

"Yep. First day as a college student. I wouldn't be here without you, Jake. I can't thank you enough for all you have done for me." I continued my journey down the street.

"What are best friends for? I will always be here for you, Bells. Don't ever forget that. It's not like you are that far. If you ever feel overwhelmed or just need a break from being brave, I am only a few hours away." he stated.

"I think I have intruded on your life long enough. You can quit worrying about me and start taking care of your girlfriend."

"I will always worry about you." There was a pause and I knew instinctively what the next question was going to be. "Are you still having those dreams?"

"Unfortunately yes. I haven't had a really good nights sleep since I left Forks." I replied. "I had to buy a heating blanket to wrap up in so I could feel like you were here!" I teased. Jake's imprinting had changed the course of our relationship, he had eyes for only one person, however I still enjoyed teasing him from time to time.

He laughed at my poor excuse for a joke, but we both knew I wasn't really joking. "If you need Alexis and me to come up for a few days to give you some rest, I will. I can work it out with Quil and Embry at the garage and be there tomorrow if you need us to."

"No Jake. It is time I learn to live on my own. I really appreciate the offer but I think that Alexis needs your _undivided_ attention." I said.

"Alexis understands our relationship, Bells. We will be there if you need us." He said again. _Stubborn best friend._

"Seriously Jake, I am fine. I'll call you tonight when I get home and tell you all about my first day, okay?" I was nearing the building I was looking for and didn't want to be late for my class.

"Okay Bells. I better let you go. Alexis is getting kind of frisky." I heard some giggling in the background. "I love you and will talk to you tonight."

"I love you, too Jake. Thanks. Now, go take care of your girlfriend!" I said as I hung up the phone and entered the building.

My umbrella had caught most of the rain, so I shook it off and closed it, putting it in my oversized bag. The rest of me would have to be assessed as soon as I found a rest room. I was sure I looked like a drowned rat. I could feel my hair sticking to my forehead. I peered down the long hallway looking for any sign of a restroom. I laughed to myself as I noticed a rather large sign that read "Restrooms" not two feet in front of me. I made my way to the door marked with a figure of a woman and walked in. One look in the mirror confirmed my earlier assumption…_yep, drowned rat_, I thought. I hastily combed through my hair deciding what I saw would have to do. It's not like I was trying to be noticed.

I stepped out of the bathroom and headed down the hall. I had decided that I would take this first semester slow; instead of the full class load of 15 credits, I was only taking nine. I hadn't fully decided what my major was going to be, although I was leaning toward teaching. My love for the classics would make for an excellent literary teacher. I figured I had plenty of time to make that decision, and for right now I was just getting my feet wet.

In my spare time I worked part-time at a Cold Stone Creamery down the street from my apartment. They were willing to work around my college schedule and the job itself was actually quite fun. We had our regular customers that would come in everyday, order the same thing, then tip the jar just to hear us sing our corny songs. The only drawback was that I couldn't stand ice cream anymore.

I found the classroom I was looking for and decided to take a seat at the very back of the room. There were a handful of other students in the class and a few more filing in. There were bookshelves on one side of the room that were jam packed with books, some maps and pictures on another wall, and a desk in the farthest corner of the room. On the white board up front in very neat handwriting were the words _Welcome to Civil War History 101_ and the name _Jackson Smith _written underneath. According to the syllabus for the class we would be studying some of the basics from that era. I figured it would be a class that I could enjoy and possibly use later on if I decided to go the teaching route.

I reached in my bag for a spiral notebook and a pencil to take notes, when I felt a sudden calmness come over the talkative room. That feeling of calmness disappeared for me when I heard a very familiar voice say, "Welcome to Civil War History 101. I will be your teacher for this semester. As you can see from the board, my name is Jackson Smith. Feel free to call me Jackson."

I looked up to see a blonde haired man with his back to me. I knew that voice! _It can't be!_ I thought.

My heart began racing so fast it felt like it would beat right out of my chest. I had never had a panic attack before, but I felt I was definitely having one now. My palms began to sweat, and I could hardly breathe. The voice was so melodic and smooth, I was in a trance as he continued speaking and writing on the board. Suddenly he stopped speaking, his body tensed, and he slowly turned around.

_OH MY GOD! JASPER?_

Our eyes met and recognition flashed across his face. _No! No! NO!_ _This can't be happening! I have to get out of here! _

I quickly grabbed my things and raced out the door. With my heart beating wildly out of control, I ran as fast as my clumsy feet would carry me. I looked behind me praying that he wouldn't follow. When I saw no one there, I slowed my pace, found the nearest bench and plopped down. Pain ripped through me and I wrapped my arms around my middle. I had to hold myself together. Tears streamed down my face as I tried to get a grip on myself.

Jasper was the last person I expected to see at SPU. I had figured that by staying in Washington, I would be less likely to run into them. I was sure that Alice would be keeping tabs on me through her visions so that I wouldn't see them again. What was Jasper doing here? Were the rest of them here too? So many questions ran through my mind and each question brought more pain. I needed to get home and pull myself together. I was only drawing attention to myself by sitting here crying, so I stood up and started the journey towards home.

JPOV

I looked at my watch…8:55...5 more minutes before my class was to begin, and I was a nervous wreck. I had no one to blame for these uneasy emotions except myself, and I needed to get better control of them or I would have a class full of nervous students. I didn't need that kind of distraction. I took a few deep breaths and soon felt a little calmer. I took one more look in the mirror, put a smile on my face, and journeyed down the hall towards my class.

Before entering, I looked through the window of my classroom door and saw that the students were chatting noisily and it looked like every desk had a body in it. I decided as I opened the door to throw some calmness into the room. Maybe that would help my stress level as well. I stepped in and without making eye contact with anyone, started speaking.

"Welcome to Civil War History 101. I will be your teacher for this semester. As you can see from the board, my name is Jackson Smith. Feel free to call me Jackson. This class will be low key and informal. I am hoping to get to know each and everyone of you-" I had to stop mid-sentence because an overwhelming sense of recognition, fear, pain, and panic hit me all at once. The feelings were so strong I felt my body stiffen with the force of them. I slowly turned around and looked at the back of the room. Staring back at me were a pair of deep brown eyes I recognized immediately. Once again I was hit with the same emotions, so strong I was sure that I would fall over. _Bella?_

All of a sudden she was gathering her things and nearly running out the door. I thought about going after her, but decided that I needed to stay professional and continue on with my class. There would be time to find her when it was over.

_When I find her, I hope she'll speak to me. _I thought as I turned my attention back to the class.

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A/N: This was a difficult chapter for me to get out. I didn't realize how complex Jasper's character was until I had to write about the emotions he was feeling. I hope I got it right. Please review and tell me what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Over 100 hits on my story…wow…I have to say that I am really honored to have that kind of response. Thanks to those that have reviewed…you have made my day a little brighter. To Cullenista--Thank you for your kind words and support. **

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Chapter Four

BPOV

I found my way back to my apartment though I couldn't tell you how I got there. As I fumbled for my keys, I thought back to the events that had transpired this morning. How in the world did Jasper end up at SPU? Were the rest of them with him too? Then finally…_Oh my gosh! I can't take this class! I will have to see him three days a week! I have to drop it….right?_ My emotions and thoughts were running rapid as I tried to sort through them all. My heart ached as I slowly entered my apartment. The realization of everything that had happened hit me all at once and I found it hard to even breathe. _Get a hold of yourself, Bella!_

Thankfully, I had a few hours until my shift started at Cold Stone. I knew that it would take at least that long to get myself together. Why now? After three years, why do I have to deal with this? Had I seriously deluded myself into thinking that I was fine? I thought I was ready for this new chapter in my life. Was God playing a sick joke on me? Just when I thought I had everything together…it all comes crashing down.

I picked up my phone and dialed. "Hello? Bells? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Jake asked. _What kind of greeting is this? Since when did he become my parent?_ I knew I shouldn't be thinking this way, but in light of how my day had gone, I wasn't ready for anyone telling me what I should be doing.

"Hi to you too, Jake. And yes…I am supposed to be in class. That is why I am calling." I said incredulously.

" Okay…What's up?" He said breathlessly. I could tell he was a little more than impatient. It was like I had interrupted something.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I'll call back when you aren't so busy." I said hastily.

"Whoa. Whoa! Slow down, Bells! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. Seriously, what's going on?"

I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go into the story of running into Jasper today or not, but right now Jake was the only one I could talk to about this. I knew that I couldn't call Charlie, because he would go over the deep end and insist that he come up and get me…not that Jake wouldn't do the same thing…however, I felt I had a better chance of convincing Jake to stay put then I did my police chief father.

"I ran into Jasper today." There…I said it.

Silence.

I couldn't hear anything on the other end. To be quite honest, it scared me.

"Jake?" I wasn't sure if I had lost connection. "Are you there?"

The growl I heard was enough indication that I knew he heard me. "Repeat what you just said, Bells, I want to make sure I heard you right."

I knew he heard what I said. There was one thing I had learned over the years…it was that werewolves had an uncanny sense of hearing. They were just like vampires in that way.

"I said…" I paused for my benefit more than his. "I ran into _Jasper_ today."

"WHAT?!" he screamed. His voice so loud I had to hold my phone away from my ear.

"Jake, relax…it's not what you think."

"Don't tell me to relax, Bells. I can't believe after all this time….you run into a bloodsucker! Not just any leech at that! The one that tried to kill you! You really are a danger magnet!"

I could tell that if I were in the same room with him I would see that he was trembling all over, trying his hardest not to phase right then and there. "I'm coming up to get you! Stay put! Don't leave your apartment. And don't talk to anyone until I get there. Is that understood?"

Who did he think he was? He sounded like my father. I was beginning to second guess my choice on who to call.

"Jake, that isn't necessary. I didn't talk to him. I ran. He didn't follow me. He doesn't even know where I live." I was trying to calm him down. Reassure him, I guess. Although the initial reason for calling was so that he could reassure me. "He's a teacher for one of the classes I take. I will drop the class tomorrow. Will that make you feel better? There is no need for you to come up. I can handle this on my own."

"You'll drop the class?"

"Yes, tomorrow."

I could sense that he was slowly calming down. There was silence on the other end before he asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to come up? I could take care of that leech for you, no problem, no problem at all."

"I can handle it, Jake. I'll drop the class tomorrow. I promise." I knew that this would be a promise I would be able to keep. I had no intention of taking a class of Jasper Whitlock's…or Jackson Smith's for that matter.

"Sure, sure. Okay, Bells. Can you also promise me that you will call the next time you see him?"

I still didn't like that he felt he had to have so much control over me, but I did eventually concede, "Okay, Jake…I'll call if I see him? Feel better?"

"Yes." I heard him take a few deep breaths to calm himself down before adding, "I am hoping the next time you call will be for better news. I don't think I could handle much more excitement."

"Okay, Jake. I love you. Say hi to Billy and Alexis for me."

_That didn't go over well._ I thought to myself as I started getting ready for work. Maybe next time I need to think twice before calling Jake concerning my problems. I had relied on him for so long; I didn't even think twice when I called him about Jasper. I should have known he would react the way he did. He always went overboard when it came to the Cullens. They were his natural enemies. I shouldn't expect any other reaction from him; however, it still hurt knowing that I probably wouldn't be able to talk to my best friend about my feelings concerning what happened today. Everything got turned around. I needed him to reassure me, not the other way around.

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I was thankful for the distraction that work was giving me today. The weather had cleared up since this morning and people were lining up to get their favorite Cold Stone concoction. The tip jar was filling up by the minute and I thought I would begin losing my voice from having to sing so much. Slade, a co-worker who reminded me of Mike Newton, stayed annoyingly by my side, following me around like a little puppy. Because it was so busy, my six hour shift seemed to be over in no time.

"Hey Bella!" the ever perky Slade said. "Can I walk you home?"

I sighed. I knew he liked me. Every time we worked together it was always the same. He'd ask if he could walk me home…I'd politely decline his offer. "Not tonight Slade, thank you though."

"Really Bella, it's no trouble at all." _Persistent little cuss._ I thought.

"Thank you anyway Slade, I think I can walk the two blocks on my own." I said as I grabbed my umbrella and coat.

It was getting dark and I could see that the rain clouds were working their way back over the horizon. As I started walking toward my apartment, I thought about what had happened earlier this morning, the conversation I had with Jake, and eventually back to my dream from the night before. The dream had seemed so real. I think that is why I was so disturbed by it. I remembered the uneasy feeling I had in the pit of my stomach when I looked out into the forest. Something was out there watching me and the closer I tried to get to it…the further it went away.

Thinking about the dream reminded me of when I had actually found the meadow on my own. That was the first time I had seen Jake in wolf form. It was also the time I was nearly killed by Laurent. He was watching me from the shadows before he had approached me. Was the dream trying to tell me there was something else waiting for me?

I reached my building just as the rain started to fall. "Good timing." I said to myself as I took the steps two at a time. My foot caught on the last step and I started to fall. I braced myself for the pain that would hit me when I felt something cold and hard grab me…stopping my impending fall. "Some things never change…do they Bella?" the velvety voice amusingly stated as he placed my feet carefully on the ground.

I looked at the golden eyes staring back at me. "Jasper?" I squeaked. My voice barely audible to my ears. "How on earth did you find me?"

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A/N: What would a story be without a Mike wannabe? I had a hard time coming up with a name for him...I chose Slade because I knew a kid once by that name that I had a huge crush on when I was a kid. I was more like Mike than Slade ever was. I used to walk slowly to school in the morning because I knew his dad would pick me up and I could sit by Slade. Anyway, enough on my childhood! Reviews are welcome!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: WOW! Longest chapter yet. I realize that these chapters are building a little slow. Please bear with me. I have to lay the ground work before the action begins. Thanks to all that have supported me thusfar!**

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Chapter Five

JPOV

My class couldn't get over fast enough for me. I managed to make it through my lecture without anyone realizing the shock that I had went through the beginning of class. Once again my emotions were getting the best of me as I gathered my books and notes. _Get yourself together. _I silently scolded myself. Why was I so upset? I had seen Bella that's why. The one person I never thought I would see again. Not that I didn't want to see her…that wasn't it at all…I had been longing for a time that I could find her and apologize to her for what I had done; I just didn't think it would be now. I guess there's no time like the present. The next daunting task…trying to find her. I knew it wouldn't be easy. Seattle was a very large city. It would be like finding a needle in a haystack, but I was up for the challenge. I had nothing but time on my hands.

I exited my classroom and started down the hall. I didn't even know where to beginning looking. I was deep in thought when I heard someone calling me.

"Jackson. Jackson?" I stopped and waited for Kirsten to catch up with me.

"Hey, sorry Kirsten, I didn't realize you were calling me." I was hoping my eyes wouldn't give away my lie. I wasn't used to being called Jackson.

"That's okay. You were moving so fast I was afraid I wouldn't catch you." She said breathlessly.

Oops. Was I really walking that fast? I was going to have to be more careful. It really had been a while since I had been around anyone. "I guess I had a lot on my mind." I thought for a minute about my mission for finding Bella.

I could sense some apprehension from her before she started speaking. It wasn't unusual for me to feel some emotion like the one she was having because of what I was…humans did tend to feel that way around my kind…but this one was a little different. "Um…well…How was your first day of class?" she asked.

I knew this wasn't what she really wanted to ask but I didn't let her know that. "It went pretty well. I was nervous before class started, but I think I got over the butterfly feeling after I got into my lecture. How was yours?"

"I think it went pretty well." She paused for a moment; the apprehension was coming off her in waves. She smiled and suddenly feeling brave asked, "Would you like to go get something to eat with me?" As soon as she asked I could feel her embarrassment.

I knew that in light of seeing Bella today, I didn't want to waste any time I had sitting and "eating" a meal with Kirsten today. I realized at that moment that seeing Bella had changed everything in regards to how I would be treating any other contact with women, especially one that I could tell found me attractive. Kirsten had intrigued me earlier because she had reminded me of the one person I thought I would never see again. Now that I had seen her, the interest wasn't as strong.

"Kirsten, as much as your invitation does sound good, I think I will have to pass. I already have plans this afternoon. One of my students left something in her hasty departure of my class today, and I have to get her address so I can return it to her." It wasn't a complete lie, but I sounded confident and hoped that my emotions would be showing the same thing.

"Oh…okay." She was disappointed but that emotion soon faded. "You know…maybe I can help you find your student."

Now the conversation was getting interesting. "I would appreciate any help you can offer me." I stated.

"Do you know where the registrar's office is?"

"It's on the first floor of this building, right?"

"Yes. All you have to do is go there and talk to Andrea. She has a database with all the student information. Just tell her who you are, and the name of the student, and she will give you the address." She smiled at me before walking back toward her room.

"Thanks for all your help, Kirsten." I smiled warmly at her. She was more of an angel then she probably knew.

"No problem. Have a good afternoon, Jackson. I hope you find her."

Excitement was the only emotion I was feeling at the moment. I was really close to finding Bella. Without Kirsten's help, I would have been scavenging all over the city. There were definitely perks to being on the faculty at SPU. This was turning out to be easier than I thought it would be.

* * *

After speaking with Andrea…and maybe even dazzling her a little too…I had Bella's address and phone number in my hands. I decided that before going over to her house to talk to her…if she would even talk to me…I had better go hunting. I didn't want to be in the least bit thirsty when I went to her house. Even if she decided not to talk to me, I wanted to be prepared. My control had improved over the last three years, but I didn't want to chance anything happening if I wasn't full. Bella's blood had always been a little sweeter than some of the other humans I had been in contact with, it was better to be prepared.

I was so happy, excited, and nervous about talking to her again that it took me longer than normal to get my fill. I lived in a secluded area just outside of the city and usually I could find a deer or two near my house, but not today. If there was anything around…my senses were clouded by what I wanted to say to Bella when I saw her. Eventually, after clearing my head, I found a couple deer and got my fill.

It didn't take me long to find Bella's apartment. She lived surprisingly close to campus. It was a small four-plex at the end of a dead-end street. Bella lived on the top floor in apartment "C". The building was simply stated…just like Bella. Not a hint of flash…nothing that would draw attention to it. I smiled to myself as I climbed the stairs.

I am not sure how many minutes passed as I stood in front of her door…my hand up preparing to knock. It must have been a while. The clouds were once again looming over the horizon. The rains were coming. I knocked on the door. "Bella?"

Silence.

I turned my sensitive ear toward the door. I couldn't hear a thing. _Great!_ I thought to myself. _She's not home._ The courage I had mustered up to even knock on the door was slowly dissipating.

It was getting dark and I found solace in the darkness of the balcony near her door. I had decided to wait for her to come home. Time was nothing for me. I would wait forever if it meant I would have the chance to tell her I was sorry for what had happened three years ago. It was my fault that she was alone right now. I had learned from Alice, after I left, that Edward had decided that it was too dangerous for Bella to be around our kind. It was infuriating for me to know the family would stick together on such a preposterous decision to leave Forks and Bella behind. I couldn't understand his decision and that was part of the reason I stayed away…but only part of it.

I was suddenly drawn from my inner battle by the sound of a familiar heartbeat coming my direction. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, however I was attuned to the fact that she was feeling confused. She looked up to the sky and muttered, "Good timing." The rain had started to fall.

I looked down the stairwell as Bella started taking the stairs…two at a time. Her foot caught on the last step and my reflexes took over as I caught her before her face hit the balcony. I chuckled to myself remembering Bella's clumsiness. "Some things never change…do they Bella?"

Shock and fear radiated off her body as I placed her feet gently on the ground. I barely heard her call my name and ask how I found her. "Please, Bella. Don't run away from me again. Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. I just want to talk." I was rambling, and I knew I was reacting to her fear.

Her dark eyes looked at me. I attempted to calm the situation only to be hit with the most brutal anger I have ever felt. "Don't attempt to calm me, Jasper Whitlock! How did you find me?" She clutched her middle as if she were trying to hold herself together. Pain was written all over her face and hit me hard.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I was just as shocked as you were earlier today. I can't pretend I didn't see you. I have been waiting so long to talk to you. Please, Bella. Can we go inside and talk?" I again tried to calm the situation and her.

I could see her resolve crumbling. She was calming down, but the pain was still there. "Please?" I pleaded one last time. I was begging her with my eyes. I had to talk to her.

"Okay." She sighed as she turned to unlock her door.

I followed her inside and she quietly closed the door. She dropped her keys in a dish located on a table near her door, hung up her coat, and moved toward the couch in the small but quaint living area. The apartment was sparsely furnished with only a couch, small table and two chairs, and a television in the corner. There was a painting on the wall of what reminded me of the greenery of Forks, but instinctively I knew it wasn't of the area. On the television were two pictures in wooden frames. One of Bella and Chief Swan and the other of Bella and a very tall young man I didn't recognize. She was smiling in both pictures, however as I looked closer, the smile didn't reach her eyes. I saw pain in them.

"You said you needed to talk to me." She motioned for me to join her on the couch.

She was confused and still clutching her middle as I slowly sat down. I tried to diffuse the situation again before speaking. "Jasper, I know what you are trying to do. I want to feel my emotions. Stop trying to manipulate them and just talk."

I smiled at her and said, "I guess I should get to the point, huh?" She was different somehow. I couldn't put my finger on it. She seemed more sure of herself; despite the pain she was feeling right now. I took a deep unnecessary breath and thought about what I wanted to say. I wanted to make sure she understood what I was going to tell her. I wasn't going to mask it in any way. She deserved the truth behind my actions three years ago.

"I need you to understand some things about your birthday three years ago. I want to explain my actions to you. I am not going to lie to you, Bella. You deserve better than that, you also deserve my apology. I am so sorry about my behavior on your birthday." I paused waiting to see if she would say anything. She clutched her middle a little tighter but kept her eyes on me. I pushed past the pain I was feeling to continue.

"I have relived that night…when you cut your finger…in my head so many times. I was careless. I wasn't paying attention to the fact that I need to be more careful when I was around you. Sure, I kept my distance…I am sure you thought I was aloof…but I had to hunt more than anyone else to even be in the same room as you. I was ashamed of my weakness.

"Over time I felt my control strengthen and I got a little too confident. I had been around you while we were fighting James. You were bleeding heavily then and it didn't faze me. What I didn't realize was that while I was fighting James, my instincts to destroy had clouded my instincts for blood. I wanted to kill him for hurting you. I didn't even know how badly you were hurt until we had disposed of him. By that time, Emmett and Rosalie had pushed me out of the room. I didn't have time to react to your blood spill."

She clutched her middle tighter as if to hold in the pain. Tears were threatening to spill down her cheeks. She closed her eyes as they started fall. She remained silent so I continued.

"I should have gone hunting before your party, Bella, but I didn't. I wanted to help Alice get ready and through her excitement completely forgot to take care of my thirst before you came over. Alice was so excited about celebrating a birthday other then one of ours, she didn't take the time to look and see what would happen. When you cut your finger…" The memory flooded over me again. I looked at her and I could feel fear. I continued anyway "Your scent hit me and I lost it. I am sure I looked like a mad man to you. My instincts took over and I know it took a lot for Emmett to get me out the door. Once I breathed the fresh air outside, I realized what I had done. I am so sorry, Bella. Please say that you'll forgive me."

She closed her eyes again, tears spilling over. I waited for her response. She took a deep breath, and without trepidation, took my hand in hers. "Jasper, there is nothing to forgive. I should have been more careful too. I have never blamed you for what happened that night. I have never been angry at you...how could I? You were only acting on instinct. You couldn't control it. If I hadn't been such a klutz, none of it would have happened. None of it."

Her warm hand gently squeezed my cold one before releasing it. I had no doubt in my mind that she was telling me the truth…that I was forgiven, although I knew there was something else she was trying to tell me through her words. Relief washed over me and I smiled warmly at her. She had grown up the last three years. She was always a remarkable young lady, but sitting before me now was a different Bella. Yes, I felt her pain, but there was a confidence about her that was never there before. She was no longer the cute little high school girl…she was a beautiful woman.

She hesitated slightly before asking the question I knew she would eventually ask. "Are the others here too?"

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Please review. It makes me write faster!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Chapter Six

BPOV

I truly did appreciate Jasper's honesty about what had happened between us. I could tell that it was going to help him get over things that may have held him back over the last few years. I wasn't so sure that having him in my house, sitting next to me on my couch was necessarily a good thing for me. As he spoke I found it harder and harder to hold myself together. He paused a few times, I assumed to think about his words before speaking, but he didn't stop until he had told me everything he wanted to say. There were differences between Jasper and Edward that I hadn't noticed before. Edward was always so careful when he spoke to me and the information I would receive would more than likely be edited to protect my fragile human feelings. With Jasper, there were pauses, but I knew instinctively that he wasn't trying to sugar coat what he was saying. I was getting the unedited truth about how he felt that day three years ago.

By the time he finished speaking the tears were falling freely from my eyes. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would ever see any of them again and running into Jasper had torn the hole in my chest wide open. Without thinking I took Jasper's hand in my own. My heart ached when I touched him…the familiarity almost too much for me to take in…I took a deep breath to calm myself before speaking the words that I knew he needed to hear. "Jasper, there is nothing to forgive. I should have been more careful too. I have never blamed you for what happened that night. I have never been angry at you… how could I? You were only acting on instinct. You couldn't control it. If I hadn't been such a klutz, none of it would have happened. None of it." I squeezed his hand slightly and let go realizing that I had never touched Jasper for very long before this moment and I didn't want to test his resolve by continuing to hold his hand regardless of how calming it was to me. I knew as I looked in his eyes that he could tell I was telling him the truth.

I had never held Jasper responsible for what he had done. It had always been my fault things went haywire that night. A stupid little paper cut had changed my life and apparently his…forever. That one incident and set into motion everything…I was the clumsy human that opened her present without thinking. I was the one Edward had thrown himself at to try to protect. I was the one that fell into the table and cut her arm. I was the one at fault for all of it. I wasn't worthy enough to have a family like the Cullens. Edward left…and so did everyone else. I had always known deep down inside that I wasn't good enough for Edward, or any of them for that matter, so it was easy to accept Jasper's apology…in my eyes it was never his fault.

We sat in silence for what seemed like hours, although I knew it was only a few seconds. He was studying me, I assumed, trying to read my emotions. There was a look in his eye that I didn't recognize. It was as if he were meeting me for the first time.

I hesitated slightly before breaking the silence between us, "Are the others here too?"

I waited for his response, not really knowing what I wanted the answer to be. Edward had said that I was no good for him, but the rest of the family had never said goodbye. Was this how they felt too?

"No." He said softly. "I am here alone. I couldn't face them after the pain I had caused the family. All of the emotions I was feeling, combined with all of theirs was too much for me. I couldn't look at any of them without feeling pain…I had to leave."

My head snapped up as soon as he said it. He was here alone? What about Alice? She was his mate. How could he leave her? He seemed to sense my confusion, because he looked at me and as if he could read my mind said, "I still love Alice…more than I love myself at times…and I have missed her terribly." His eyes darkened as he continued, "I couldn't bear her pain and disappointment on top of my own. I couldn't escape from her like I could the rest of the family. The decision to leave was mine. Some days have been easier than others. There were many times when I felt half of me was missing. I still feel that way at times. I have stuffed my feelings down so long, those feelings don't hit me as often anymore…" he paused only briefly before adding "We have a lot in common, Bella. Probably more now than ever before."

He was right. We were both living an empty life; muddling through our days without any purpose. I had come here to change that. I was ready to begin a new life. Could my new life include Jasper? Would he be willing to be a part of my life? I have always believed that things happen in your life for a reason. There had to be a reason for running into Jasper, right?

"Bella, I know that I am probably asking too much of you, and I will understand if you can't do what I am about to ask of you," his topaz eyes bore into mine as he continued speaking, "I need to know if I can see you again."

My heart started beating erratically as what he was asking sunk in. Was I willing to have Jasper be a part of my new life? Was I willing to risk getting hurt again if he decided to leave like Edward had?

I barely heard him whisper. "I'm asking too much."

"NO!" I screamed. My outburst caught me off guard. By the look on Jasper's face, I knew that I had caught him off guard as well. I don't think this was the answer he was hoping for.

"Okay." He quietly stood up and started walking toward the door.

"No. Jasper wait!" I stood up and grabbed his hand, knowing full well that if he wanted to leave there was no way I was going to stop him. "You aren't asking too much. I…I want to see you again."

Now that he had found me, I knew that I would never be the same. I didn't have Jake here to put me back together if Jasper did leave, but I knew that I had to give this a chance. I wanted to heal…and I had a feeling that Jasper was going to be a big part in that healing for me. Maybe together we could get back what we both had lost on my birthday. For the first time in a long time, I felt hope. I didn't know if I would ever see any of the others again, I wasn't thinking that far. I had found Jasper, and he had found me. That's all that mattered for right now.

JPOV

I left Bella's apartment lighter than I had felt in three years. She had accepted my apology and had agreed to see me again. It was amazing to me how one simple run in from your past could change your life in an instant. My existence had taken a new course…one I hadn't expected…and I was ready for it.

I meant what I said about the two of us having a lot in common. There were definitely some differences…I made the decision to leave Alice. My pain was self inflicted. Bella didn't leave Edward…he left her, but I knew that the pain we both shared, whether it be by choice or not, was the same kind of pain. We were both without our soul mates.

Talking about Alice wasn't something I had planned on doing. I should have known that I would have to talk about her sometime. Bella was too intuitive. I knew what she was feeling the minute I said I was alone. The only way I was going to help explain what happened to me was to bring Alice into the conversation. Alice was…no…_is_ my mate. There is nothing or no one that will ever change that. We talked less now than we used to, however I knew that Alice would wait for me. There was no one else for her either.

I was looking forward to building a new friendship with Bella. I was excited the prospect of knowing her on a level that I hadn't been at liberty to before. I would take the necessary precautions needed in order to be around her. If that meant I hunted everyday, that was what I was going to do. I wasn't going to mess up again. I had a second chance to make things right. Just like I had felt from Bella back at her apartment, I too had hope.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the screen. _What timing._ I thought smiling to myself as I answered my phone, "Hello." I said. "Long time no talk."

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**A/N: Well, well, well...who could that be? It may not be who you think. You all know what to do...REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: I felt my story was due for some lemony goodness. It is intended for mature readers. Read at your own risk...and please remember to review!**

Chapter Seven

BPOV

After Jasper left, I decided a nice hot bath would help ease my over stimulated brain. The calm that Jasper had brought to the room instantly dissipated after he left. I quickly took off my clothes and gently eased my body into the hot, bubbly water. I immediately felt the tension draining from my body. _Jasper was in my house._ I thought to myself. _He wants to see me again._ The thought made me smile.

Jasper had always kept his distance whenever I was around before. I knew it was hard for him to maintain control when he was around me. I saw it in his eyes. Of all the Cullens, he had struggled with their lifestyle the most. I realized that he must have worked really hard to overcome his struggles over the past three years. He didn't even flinch when I grabbed his hand. I knew that I would have to be more careful in the future, although I had to admit it felt good holding his hand even if it was for a little while.

I started dozing off and decided I didn't need my accident prone self falling asleep in a tub full of water, so I drained the water, dried off and headed for my room. It wasn't really late…only 10 o'clock…but the events of the day had drained me not only mentally but physically too. I put on my flannel pajama bottoms and tank top and crawled into bed. Soon I found myself drifting to sleep.

Dreaming…

__

I am in a large chapel. There are pews on each side of me and ahead a brilliant stained glass wall in front of a long aisle. I am once again in white linen. Could it be a wedding dress? I'm not sure. There are people in the pews but for some reason I can't tell who they are. They don't have faces…no eyes, mouths, lips…anything, just blank.

The light shining through the stained glass wall fascinates me. Colors are cascading off of every wall, sending blinding light all around the room, and I feel drawn to it. As I walk down the aisle, the faceless people gaze at me. I try to speak but nothing comes out. I can't find my voice.

At the end of the aisle are more faceless people. They too are looking at me. I don't know what they are feeling…they don't speak…without faces there are no expression to clue me in to what they are thinking.

Without warning the congregation stands up and starts walking toward the glass wall. I stop walking and stare as each member of the congregation walks through the wall one at a time. The wall stands firm. It doesn't break--in fact it seems to bend as each person walks through it. The bending makes the light move around the room like the lights of a disco hall.

I stand entranced by what I am witnessing. The faceless people at the end of the aisle soon follow suit and also make their way through the wall. I am left alone and as soon as they are all gone, the pain manifests itself once again in my chest.

The light starts to fade, the colors begin to disappear and I have the sudden feeling that if I don't go through the wall, I will find myself in a black abyss with no way out.

I look ahead and will my feet to move. When I reach the wall I stop. The light is growing dim, and I find that I fear what will happen if I don't cross the window sill. I hold my breath and cautiously step over the undercarriage of the window.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I reach the other side without a scratch; not a single cut. But where am I?

I look around and find that I am once again in a very familiar meadow. The woods surrounding me offer me no comfort. Someone is watching my every move and the fear threatens to take a hold of me.

The meadow is misty and this time the moon isn't casting a heavy glow. I can't see a thing.

Without warning, or even a sound, I know instinctively that something or someone is behind me. A cold hand reaches out and grabs my shoulder. Instead of screaming, I run. My feet feel like they are floating as I try to get away from my attacker. I reach the end of the meadow and stop. Something tells me it isn't safe to go any further, however I don't know how safe I am in the meadow either.

I slowly turn around and look behind me; my heart is beating wildly out of control. Standing in front of me is a dark shape. I see a crown shape on his head. Is he a prince? Unlike the others, he has a face, I can make out the strong shape of his jaw and nose, but I can't tell who he is. It is way too dark.

"Don't be afraid." The prince says. "I won't hurt you."

The voice is smooth and calming. I don't recognize it although I feel like I should know the prince in front of me.

He slowly makes his way to me. "Don't go in there. It's not safe." He takes my hand in his and leads me to the center of the meadow. I try to speak but once again the words won't come. It is so dark and I want to see the stranger in front of me. The further away from the edge of the forest we are the darker it becomes.

"I can tell you are frightened," he says to me. "Or are you just cold? You're shaking like a leaf."

I don't know if I am cold. Yes, there is a chill in the air, but at the same time the electricity that flows between our hands could cause anyone to shake uncontrollably.

He turns me around so I am facing him. His cool breath tickles my neck as he says, "Are you cold, Bella?"

I slowly shake my head. My voice is no where to be found.

"You smell heavenly, I can't get enough of your wonderful scent." The prince says as he leaves gentle kisses up and down my neck.

I am not afraid; in fact I am dazzled by the prince that stands before me. As soon as he speaks the words, I feel my knees buckle.

"Careful, little one." he says as he pulls me closer to him. "I don't want you to get hurt. You better lie down before you fall down." There is a hint of a smile in his voice.

He slowly lowers me to the earth below. It feels as soft as a pillow. He pulls me to him and I bury my face in his neck. He smells so good, I can't get enough of him either.

"May I kiss you?" His voice is husky and he sounds like he is out of breath. "I need to taste you."

He lowers his face to mine and our lips touch. The electricity that shoots through me travels from my lips clear down to my toes. My hands shoot up and grab the back of his neck. My fingers run through his hair as our kiss becomes more intense. His cold tongue grazes my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I slowly part my lips to allow him to explore further.

I can't get close enough. I grab him and press my body into his causing him to growl from deep within. "I want you, Bella." He purrs.

I move my hands over his rock hard chest and find the bottom of his shirt. I pull it over his head breaking the kiss for some much needed air. I am feeling light headed from the lack of oxygen. His skin is hard and cold. I trace his muscular chest with my fingers and move my way down to his rock hard abs. I have no inhibitions; nothing is going to stop me from taking what I want from this prince of the dark. I have never felt so good.

There is a throbbing between my legs that I have only felt once before, but for some reason, all feelings are intensified as I continue my exploration of his body. His hands roam over my body leaving sparks everywhere he touches. My body aches to feel him inside me. This faceless prince has enchanted me and I want nothing more than to give myself to him, body and soul.

His hand lightly grazes my breast and my heart races. I have never known this kind of passion and I am on fire. "Listen to your heart, Love. I have never heard such beautiful music." he whispers as he unzips my dress, his cool hands touching my hot skin.

Soon my dress is gone and I am left with only my white lace bra and matching panties. He continues his assassination of my body with his lips. He starts at my shoulders and works his way down my arms and over to the space between my breasts. I can't breathe. I feel as though I am going to faint from pleasure.

I move my leg over his hip and realize that he still has too many clothes on. I move my hands to his belt and slowly work to remove his pants. My lips move over his stone hard chest as my hands unbutton his pants and help him out of them. He moans with pleasure as my tongue darts out and licks his nipple. "Oh. My. God." he whispers. I smile as I continue my attack on his chest.

Suddenly I find myself on my back, with my prince hovering over me. His breathing is labored and shallow. It is almost like he is trying not to breathe at all. My hands reach up to touch his face, hoping that he will be reassured by my touch and continue his mission. I feel him smile and he kisses me again.

His hands reach behind my back and quickly unlatch my bra, tossing it aside. His cold hands massage my round flesh causing my nipples to harden and my breathing to stop. "Breathe, Bella." he croons, "I want you to remember this."

He takes my nipple in his mouth and gently teases it with his tongue. I arch my back in pleasure, pressing my wet center into his thigh. Once again I hear what sounds like a purr deep within his chest as his lips move over my flat stomach stopping just short of my throbbing center.

He frees me of the last of my clothing as I help him with his. There is nothing separating us any longer. His cold body presses against my hot flesh and I relish the feeling of having my prince so close.

He gently spreads my legs and lowers himself, just touching the entrance. He kisses me deeply as he slowly enters me. The shock of his cold member in my hot core sends shivers up my spine. "Ah, you're so warm. You feel so good." He says as he starts to move.

His movements are slow and careful and I want desperately for him to lose control. I press my hips into his and together we find our own rhythm. I feel myself climbing higher and higher. We move slowly together…staying controlled. Our bodies are one and I feel whole.

"Let go, love. Just feel me." He pants as I reach the top of the mountain I am climbing. My release is sudden and it rocks me to my core. The tingling starts in my stomach and spreads over every nerve in my body. I can't stop shaking. He soon follows behind me and the growl that comes from his chest is like none I have ever heard. I hold him as his cool release fills me.

"I must go now." he says as he stands up and gets dressed. The tears start to fall as I watch my prince start to walk away. I reach for him and he is gone…

"WAIT!" I screamed as I wrapped my arms around my middle; the hole in my chest exposed again. There was so much more to this dream. Who was the prince? My heart and soul needed so desperately to find out what it meant. Sweat soaked my hair and pajamas as I stumbled out of bed toward the bathroom. After that dream…I needed a cold shower.

**

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**

A/N: Updated Sept. 13th. I needed to fix the tense of the dream. Please review!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

A/N: I decided that I would post one more chapter before the release of BD! I do intend on finishing the story...I just think we will all be really busy over the next week at least. Thank you to those that have taken the time to review! Your words keep me going. We all love a little pat on the back sometime. Now without further delay...Chapter Eight!

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Previously:

__

"Hello." I said. "Long time no talk."

Chapter Eight

JPOV

"Damn straight!" Emmett yelled into the phone so loudly, I had to hold the earpiece away from my sensitive ears. "Haven't heard from you in a while, bro! I'm beginning to think you don't love me anymore."

Leave it to Emmett to get all sappy on me. "I love you, man. It's hard not to. I have been really busy lately."

"Busy doin' what? Running all over the country side…playing hide and seek from your family?" He mocked.

"It's not like I can hide from Alice's visions, Emmett. I know she keeps tabs on me." I said flatly. It pained me to know that she watched me, and only by her visions was she able to keep up with me.

"Well, she stopped doing that a while ago…Look, man, it's time you get your shit together and come home. I don't know how long Alice can keep this up. It is too painful for her. She is withdrawing from the family, bro. She has locked herself in her room, and we have to force her to feed. It's not pretty."

Emmett wasn't one to buck the truth, and it pained me to know that the love of my life was hurting; however there was some unfinished business that I had to tend to. I wasn't ready to share my news of finding Bella with Emmett just yet.

"Jasper, did you hear what I said?" Emmett asked. "She isn't herself. She needs you. The whole family needs you to come home."

"Where's Edward?"

"He came home four months ago, but he isn't any help. He spends most of his time locked in his room too. I swear I am about ready to beat some sense into him. He's the one that started all of this. Maybe a good ass kicking will wake him up." He paused for a moment before realizing he went off topic. "Catching you up on Edward's life isn't why I called."

"I know. Look, Em…there are some things I have to do before I can come home." I thought carefully before adding, "If Alice would look…she would understand."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He roared. "I already told you she isn't herself. We can't even mention your name and she loses it…more than usual, man…something's gotta change. I am getting really tired of two comatose vampires living so close to me." I could tell the role he had to take in the family was beginning to take its toll on him.

"I am so frustrated I feel like I need to break things. I don't think Esme would appreciate that. And Rosalie isn't helping the situation either. She doesn't hide her feelings about you leaving, and rants in her mind things that send Edward into a fit of rage nearly everyday." He rambled.

"Don't destroy anything, Emmett, it would definitely piss Esme off. In regards to your wife…well, that is a problem you brought on yourself. You're the one that married her."

"Ha ha! Very funny. Speaking of marrying…"

"Let me guess…ummm…you and Rosalie are getting married…again?"

"Yes! Hey! How did you know?…Oh never mind, not important right now. You have two months, dear brother of mine, to get your head on straight, and your shit in line so you can come home. I need you here to be my best man…you're the only one left that would be able to." He added.

"Two months?"

"You losing your hearing, brother? Two months!" He yelled.

"Okay, Emmett. I will do my best to be there." Before he could say anymore, I hung up my phone.

I was still in front of Bella's apartment, and I looked into her living room window…no lights. I knew today was taxing on her both physically and mentally. It wasn't easy on me either. In a matter of 24 hours, I had started a new job, ran into someone I had nearly killed three years ago, and asked her to be a part of my life again. I sighed realizing what a turn my life had taken.

As I reached my car, I felt the most undeniable hate coming from a house across the street. I turned to look and couldn't see where the source was. I was immediately on alert; the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Someone across the street didn't like the fact that I was here. I could tell the emotions were aimed at me; however none of my other senses seemed to help me at the time. I couldn't make out any differences in the still air around me and my hearing didn't pick up anything out of the ordinary. I made a mental note to ask Bella if she knew her neighbors.

I quickly got in my car, started it up and sped down the road towards home.

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EPOV

Three years, two months, 24 days, 16 minutes, 33 seconds and counting. I stared at the clock on the wall…willing the seconds to stop. I had been keeping track of the time since I left the love of my life in the forest by her home. My heart had broken that day and my life no longer had meaning.

I had spent two years away from my family, just after we left Forks, tracking Victoria to no avail. I had never been a good tracker and she led me on a wild goose chase all over the country. It was the only purpose I had at the time. Once I got sick of running all over the countryside, searching with no luck finding her, I decided to come home.

My family welcomed me with open arms, as I knew they would. They were supportive of my decision even though I knew that it pained them too. Bella was a sister, a daughter, and for me…my love. Never in my existence had I ever felt for someone the way I felt for her. I did what was best for her…I put her first when I left…and now I would pay for the rest of eternity.

Jasper had left the family before I had. I believe it was incredibly painful for him to be around me--I could see the guilt in his eyes--and no matter how hard I tried to be careful of my emotions around him, there were times when I just couldn't help myself.

Alice had tried to keep him here. She practically begged him not to leave…

__

"Please Jasper…don't go." She begged. "We can work through this. We have been through worse before."

"I can't take it anymore," Jasper replied. "I can't handle Edward's pain, your pain, and my guilt any longer. It's too much for anyone to bear. I can't live this way. This life isn't for me. What would have happened if Emmett hadn't been there to pull me out of the house, Ali?"

"But he did. You didn't hurt Bella. She's alive and well. Your control will get better over time. I'll never leave your side, please Jasper…I need you." She whispered as she buried her face in his chest.

"I am tired of being babysat, Alice." He hissed and pushed her off him. "I can't do it anymore! I am tired of lying to myself and hurting you every time I make a mistake! If you love me, let me go!"

I didn't think I had ever seen Alice so distraught. She kept up with him for a while…looking into his future from time to time…but over the past few months she had gotten as bad as I had. Jasper had called for a while, speaking to her on the phone, making small talk, and had always avoided the topic of coming home.

There were times that Alice and I would just sit together quietly…not thinking or speaking…she was the only one who understood what I was going through, and I understood her pain too. There was no need for any words between us.

I knew that our behavior was beginning to unravel the family, but I also knew I couldn't help myself. I was miserable, and as much as I wanted to keep my family from my moodiness by staying locked in my bedroom; it was only a matter of time before the pressure cooker would explode.

"_Edward,"_ Carlisle thought. _"May I speak to you for a moment?"_

"Door's open."

My father opened the door and moved gracefully over to the couch where I was seated.

"_I need to talk to you about how your behavior is affecting the family." _He paused and looked into my eyes. "_I realize you lost your meaning for life, Edward. I won't pretend to understand how you must be feeling, but I need you to think about your family right now."_

"What do you want me to do, Carlisle? Pretend like it isn't killing me that I said goodbye to the best thing that ever happened to me?" My temper was starting to get the best of me. "I can't do that. I wish I were dead! At least dying would be better than what I am going through now!"

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" My father said out loud. "I don't ever want to hear you utter those words again! It is time for you to step up and take your role in this family. No more talk of dying!"

"I'm sorry, Carlisle." I hung my head, shame plastered on my face.

_"Don't ever let Esme know you are thinking what you are. She's already lost too much. I don't need her worrying about losing you any more than she already has. Have you even thought about how your behavior is affecting your mother?"_

_"_I know." I didn't know what else to say. My conduct since returning home had been less than social. I didn't leave my room except to hunt and I did that alone. I had withdrawn so much from the family; I didn't have to work at keeping out their thoughts. Rosalie, however, had a way of pissing me off frequently with her thoughts about Bella.

"I don't expect the change to happen right away, son, but I know you are better than how you are acting now." He put his hand on my knee and added, "I love you. I know you'll do what is right."

With those last words he got up and left the room, not waiting for a reply.

I leaned back against the armrest and closed my eyes. I knew I wouldn't ever get over Bella, but I also knew that I needed to try to start living again…even if only for my family.

I mentally chastised myself for bringing up my true feelings about wanting to die. Carlisle rarely raised his voice, and I knew that my words had cut him deep. It wasn't often I heard my full name spoken aloud.

I laid there lost in my thoughts when I suddenly heard a scream from down the hall.

"EDWARD!"

I jumped up and raced down the hall to my sister's room. Alice was sitting on the edge of her bed, eye's open wide, and her body was shaking all over. Rosalie was kneeling beside her.

"I came in to check on her." She sobbed. "And I found her like this! I can't wake her up, Edward! I can't snap her out of it!"

I knelt down in front of Alice and tried to get her to look in my eyes. "Alice? Sweetie? What is it? What are you seeing? It's Edward, Alice. I'm here." I sat next to her and pulled her stiff body onto my lap, and stroked her short, spiky hair.

We sat still for only a moment before she went limp in my arms. Her vision played itself out in my mind causing me to gasp at what I saw. "Oh, Alice…"

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**Okay...will that help bring you back after BD?**

**Updated Sept 13th...needed a little tweeking. Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

Previously:

"_Alice? Sweetie? What is it? What are you seeing? It's Edward, Alice. I'm here." I sat next to her and pulled her stiff body onto my lap, and stroked her short, spiky hair. We sat still for only a moment before she went limp in my arms. "Oh, Alice…"_

Chapter Nine:

EPOV:

Alice lay in my arms, dry sobbing, replaying the image in her mind over and over again.

I could see the images in my head as she replayed them in hers. We all knew that her visions were subjective; she'd proven that with the vision of Bella being one of us. We had no way of knowing if this vision would happen tomorrow or years from now…or if it would happen at all. I was hoping for the latter scenario.

Rosalie snapped me out of my revelry. "Damn-it, Edward! What did she see?"

"She saw Jasper…" I paused taking an unnecessary breath. "He was…" I couldn't bear saying it.

"What!? Edward!" She screamed at me.

"JASPER WAS DEAD!" I yelled back at her holding onto a now shaking Alice.

"Alice." She said softly. "You know how your visions are. We'll find him. We'll bring him home." Rosalie reassured her.

"I know about my visions, Rosalie." Alice said in barely a whisper. "It is still shocking to see."

I grabbed Alice's chin and forced her eyes to mine. "This one isn't going to come to pass, Alice. I can feel it. Don't you dare give up hope."

"It seemed so real. I think that's what scares me the most." She looked at me and I could read the emotions in her eyes. "I can't lose him forever, Edward. I couldn't bear it."

"Don't worry sis." I wasn't sure how things were going to be fine, but I was determined to make sure this vision of Alice's didn't come true.

I sat on my leather couch later that evening pondering the vision that Alice had seen. There was something different about this one. It was cloudy at best. Most of her visions seemed so clear; like you were looking at things through your own eyes. In this one….her vision was clouded. Where Jasper died in Alice's vision was a blur, as if the focus was not on the surroundings but only on him. It was a puzzle that I was desperate to solve. She was seeing this vision through someone else's eyes. The decision to kill was made but where it was going to happen was a mystery. In spite of the pain I was in, I wasn't going to watch my sister endure the same loss I had. I was going to find Jasper and help him fight the one that wanted him dead. The only puzzle piece to find was where he was, and I was determined to find him.

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BPOV

Now that Jasper was back in my life, time seemed to move so quickly. It had already been two weeks since we ran into each other and everyday we seemed to be getting closer and closer. I found that I smiled more and laughed more than I had since Edward left. Jasper was easy to talk to. Our conversations were never labored and we never had the awkward pauses that I used to have with Edward.

My dreams still haunted me at night, however I found that talking about them with Jasper seemed to make the uneasiness about them not so frightening. Jasper rarely left me alone during the day; leaving only to teach his class. In the evening he would wait until I was ready to go to bed before leaving. I felt safe when he was around.

My only real problem now was Jake. He wasn't talking to me and the pain it caused me hurt me to my core. I had called him to tell him I dropped Jasper's class, and his relief turned to anger when I told him I was seeing Jasper later that week.

"_I don't get you, Bells!" He exclaimed. "Why would you put yourself in that kind of danger?"_

"_I'm not in danger, Jake." I replied. _

"_Ya, right…and I'm not a werewolf." He muttered under his breath._

"_Look Jake. I am 21 years old and more than capable of taking care of myself now. I love you…you will always be my best friend…and I need to live my own life. I can't be worrying about upsetting you every time we talk. I have been walking on egg shells, worrying about even having to tell you about Jasper." I owed a lot to Jacob and his family for putting me back together after the Cullens' left, however I was tired of feeling like I owed an explanation for everything I had done since I left Forks._

"_Fine! You do this on your own! I am through, Bella Swan! I will not pick you back up after this bloodsucker leaves. You won't have to worry about walking on egg shells anymore. I'm done!" With that last statement he hung up on me._

Jasper had come over later that afternoon to find me in a mess of emotions ranging from anger to sorrow. It took me a couple of hours to cry myself out. During that time, Jasper held me and let me ruin his shirt with my tears. He didn't try to control my emotions…he just let them take their course. I knew that day was as hard on him as it was on me.

"Bella?" Jasper called to me from the kitchen, shaking me from my line of thinking, as he poured me a glass of wine.

"Hummm?" I answered stretching my feet across my couch. I had just got off of work for the evening and my feet were sore. I always looked forward to this part of the evening. After work I would come home to find Jasper waiting for me outside my door. Once inside, Jasper would quietly sit on the couch while I took a shower and readied myself for an evening of either movies or talking. I would sit on one end of the couch, while Jasper would sit at the other and absently rub my feet while I drank a glass of wine. I wasn't sure if he was calming me with his foot rub or his gift and quite frankly I didn't care. Just being around him made me feel at peace.

"How well do you know your neighbors?" He asked as he handed me my glass.

"I only moved in here a few months ago. I don't think I have even seen anyone from my building." I answered stifling a yawn.

"Humph." He paused for only a second before asking, "What about your neighbors across the street?"

I looked at him trying to read the expression on his face and came up with nothing. His face was blank. "I have only seen one lady who walked into the house directly across from mine one time. I don't know who she is. I have only seen her from a distance when I am walking home from work. Why do you ask?"

The look on his face changed from a blank expression to one of great concern. "As I was leaving the night I came to apologize to you, I felt a wave of anger coming from the house across the street. I couldn't see the source of the anger, but I knew it was coming from the house directly across from yours. You haven't talked to any of your neighbors?"

"No. I am rarely here. My time is spent with classes, work, and spending time with you." He was making me feel a little unsettled.

"I don't want you to worry. It's probably a misunderstanding of some kind, but to be on the safe side I would like to walk you home from work from now on. I would feel better knowing you weren't walking home by yourself for a while." He smiled warmly at me and patted my feet gently. "Would you like another glass?"

"I can get it." I answered as I went to the kitchen. I placed my hands on the counter and felt my heart beat wildly out of control. I had to relax. The feeling of being watched frightened me, and now I wasn't only experiencing it in my dreams but also in my waking hours. I was so busy trying to get control of myself that I didn't hear Jasper come around the corner.

"Bella." Jasper said placing his cold hand on my arm. "I won't let anything happen to you. I didn't mean to frighten you, but I will not lie to you and say that I am not concerned about what I felt that evening. I am just going to take some precautions while I figure out what is going on, okay?"

"'Kay." I quietly whispered. Jasper took my glass, filled it back up and led me back into the living room.

"What are we watching tonight?" He asked changing the mood of the room.

"I thought we would watch _The Notebook_. Have you seen it?" I placed it in my DVD player and waited for it to load.

"Umm, Bella? Do you know what this movie is about?" I looked at Jasper's face and saw pain in his eyes. The movie had been recommended by Slade my co-worker. He had found out that I liked to write and thought I might like this movie. He hadn't added any more about the plot except that it was about an old man reading a notebook he had written to an old woman.

"Not really. It was recommended to me by a co-worker." I proceeded in telling him what Slade had said about the movie.

"Well…that is only a very small part of the movie. Bella…this is a love story. Are you sure you want to watch it?" He asked carefully.

"Oh!" I said with shock as I grabbed the DVD cover to read the description in the back.

"_As teenagers, Allie and Noah begin a whirlwind courtship that soon blossoms into tender intimacy. The young couple is quickly separated by Allie's upper-class parents who insist that Noah isn't right for her. Several years pass, and, when they meet again, their passion is rekindled, forcing Allie to choose between her soul mate and class order."_ I read to myself.

"Not a good choice, huh?" I took the DVD out of my player and put it back in the case.

"I don't think so." Jasper spoke softly.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I wasn't thinking. I just accepted what Slade said. I should have known that he would want me to watch a love story. He's been chasing me ever since I started working there." I babbled.

I looked at Jasper who was now staring out my window. I turned to see what he was looking at but couldn't see anything. It was dark outside and there was only one street light at the end of my street. A low growl resonated from Jasper as he continued to stare out my window.

"Jasper? What is it?" I whispered. I reached my hand out to touch his. The fear I was feeling was mixing with Jasper's anger and threatened to overwhelm me. "Please, Jasper…you're scaring me."

Jasper swiftly moved from my couch to the window and pulled the blinds. "Stay here." He commanded as I watched him walk out the door. I got up and peered through the crack in my blinds to see Jasper race across the street to my neighbor's house.

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JPOV

I saw a flash of movement from the house across the street and my attention was immediately drawn from Bella to the house. My keen eyesight caught a glimpse of someone moving too fast to be a human. The neighbor was quickly pacing back and forth and talking on the phone. I strained to try to hear what the neighbor was saying and came up with nothing. A low growl rumbled in my chest. Whoever was living across the street wasn't human, I was certain of that, but who was it?

The neighbor hung up the phone and looked out the window. Our eyes met and I instantly recognized the eyes staring back at me. "Stay here." I said to Bella as I quickly walked out the door and down the stairs. The anger pulsing through my dead body drove me across the street. I reached the door and walked in without knocking.

"What the hell do you think you are doing here? And what's with the vibes I'm getting from you?" I screamed at the woman in front of me.

"Well, hi to you too, Jasper." Irina replied.

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A/N: This story has a life of it's own it seems. I think it is going to go one way and pretty soon I am reading it back and it is going somewhere else. Please review...it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: I want to thank all those that have read and reviewed my story so far. This chapter features Irina...and to be quite honest...I searched through New Moon to see if Stephenie gave us any idea of what she would be like. This is how I see her. It may be a little OOC. This Irina works for my story. **

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"_What the hell do you think you are doing here? And what's with the vibes I'm getting from you?" I screamed at the woman in front of me._

"_Well, hi to you too, Jasper," Irina replied._

Chapter 10

JPOV

I stood still, unable to move, while looking at the amber-eyed vampire in front of me. I was still trying to piece together in my head the reason she would be here…why she would be so angry at Bella. And I knew she harbored strong feelings toward her…you can't hide emotions from an empathic vampire. What confused me is…why? Bella, to my knowledge, had never met anyone from the Denali Coven.

"Why are you here?" I asked after I started calming down.

"I needed a change of scenery," she stated matter of factly. "Won't you sit down?"

"I don't have time for small talk, Irina. I want to know what has you all riled up." I moved to bridge the gap between us.

Irina looked past me and out her window. Her anger began to fester again but she quickly quieted her emotions, and switched gears to utter happiness, then lust and desire…she had me spinning. In my past dealings with Irina she had learned to control her emotions around me and switch them up at a drop of a hat. I knew her first emotion was authentic…anger…because I felt it before she saw me. Now I couldn't count on reading anything right. She was too good at hiding from my gift.

"So…you're hanging with a human girl?" she said as she moved toward me seductively.

"Don't change the subject, Irina." She stopped inches from me, invading my personal space.

"Oh, Jasper! I just love it when you play hard to get." She placed her hand on my chest and start rubbing circles with her fingers. "Little human got you frustrated, huh? Been a while? Where's Alice?"

I grabbed her hand feeling the anger build again. "The _little human_ isn't my problem right now and is no concern of yours. I am waiting for an answer."

"Oh, but the human is my concern, Jasper," she cooed. "You see, so much has happened since your last run in with that particular girl."

She paused as a smile formed on her lips while her eyes changed from an amber glow to pitch black in mere milliseconds.

"You remember Laurent?" Her eyes searched mine for a sign of recognition. "Yes…I see you do. After your little run in with James, Laurent came to Alaska to stay with us for a while. And let's just say…we hit it off."

I was still trying to figure out what this tidbit of information had to do with Bella when she continued.

"Laurent had a hard time with our lifestyle; however that didn't stop us from getting close. I was willing to work with him on his diet. He stayed with us for a few months then decided that he had some unfinished business to take care of for a friend of his. This friend had a problem with a human girl…a vendetta to fulfill…and she needed Laurent to find the girl for her." She looked at me as she spoke in barely a whisper. "Do you know who that human was, Jasper?"

A growl erupted from my core as the realization of who she was speaking about hit me. I closed the gap between us, placing my hands on her neck pushing her to the wall at the far end of the room. "What part do you play in this, Irina? Where is Laurent?" My anger was seething through my body and it took all I had to control myself.

Pain registered on her face at the mention of her lover's name. "He's dead."

I loosened my grip and moved away from her. Her story didn't add up. Some part was missing and I couldn't put my finger on it. There was no way Bella could have killed Laurent, so why exactly was Irina here? None of it was making any sense.

"Laurent was killed by werewolves," she continued again. "They killed him before he could hurt her." The pain she was experiencing wasn't masked. She truly had feelings for the nomad I had met years earlier.

"Your Bella has a knack for attracting mythical species doesn't she?" Irina stated with a chuckle. "Those werewolves just happen to be friends of hers."

My head was spinning with the information that Irina placed before me. Werewolves? Friends with Bella? "You still haven't told me why you are here." I said sitting down on a nearby chair.

"Well…I am picking up where my beloved Laurent left off, of course." She walked over to the window and looked outside again. "I've been keeping track of her for a while now."

My temper threatened to explode again, "YOU WILL NOT TOUCH A HAIR ON HER HEAD!" I spat through clenched teeth.

"Jasper, you know me better than that!" she crooned. "I haven't swayed from our diet in many years. I don't plan on tarnishing myself with the likes of her blood. She isn't worth the trouble. I am watching her for someone else. I figure it is the least I can do to avenge Laurent's death. What good would it do for me to go after those filthy dogs? Why not hurt them where it would hurt the most? They are extremely protective of her. This will hurt them so much more."

Suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle fit into place. Irina was watching Bella for…Victoria! Victoria wanted revenge for James' death. Mate for a mate. Our kind didn't easily forget and it seemed like Victoria was hell bent on fulfilling her plan for revenge.

"Do you have any idea what you have done?" I uttered mainly to myself. "You are family! Or at least you used to be!"

I didn't wait for a response. I ran out the door with only one thing permeating my already overloaded system. _I must protect Bella. I have to get her out of here._

I bolted through Bella's door, "Grab some clothes, whatever you need to have for a few days, you're coming with me," I commanded.

Bella stared at me with wide eyes. Obviously too shocked to speak. "Bella! Please!" I gently grabbed her arms and pulled her off the couch. She stumbled to her bedroom and pulled a duffle bag out from under her bed. She was frightened, but I didn't have time to calm her down right now. I had to get her as far away from Irina and Victoria as I could.

I ran to her dresser and quickly started throwing clothes at her as she placed them into the duffle bag. Her heart was beating wildly out of control causing her blood to pulsate rapidly through her veins. The venom welled up in my mouth and I quickly swallowed it and willed the monster away. Now was not the time to be thirsty. I would definitely have to hunt on our way to my place.

"Do you have what you need?" I asked trying to ease her tension at the same time. She nodded her head, still unable to speak. "Good. Let's go" I said as I picked up her bag.

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BPOV

Terrified. That was the only word to describe what I was feeling right now. Jasper moved with such speed through my room, throwing clothes at me, it took all my concentration to put them in my duffle bag. I was in danger…again.

Less than a minute later, I was sitting in Jasper's car, speeding down the highway to God knows where. My world in a matter of a few minutes had been completely turned upside down.

"Jasper?" I whispered. "Where are you taking me? What's going on?"

"There's nothing to worry about, Bella. I'm taking you to my place. You'll be safe there," he replied as a wave of tranquility filled the car.

I instantly felt calmer; however my last question went unanswered. "You have never kept anything from me before, Jasper. Why am I leaving my home? Who lives across the street?"

I watched the emotions flicker across his stone face as he decided to speak. "Irina."

_Irina? Who the hell is Irina?_ I thought.

As if he had read my mind, Jasper spoke. "Irina is a long time friend of the family. She is part of the Denali Coven. They are like us and only drink animal blood."

"If she is a friend, why are we running from her?" I was confused. I remember Edward talking about the Denali Coven, and how he had gone there after meeting me the first time. He had gone there to clear his head. If they were friends, what did Irina want from me?

"Bella…" Jasper took my hand in his, never taking his eyes off the road. "Irina's mate is Laurent…or should I say **was** her mate; thanks to your…werewolf friends?"

That day flashed through my mind…me finding the meadow…Laurent finding me…The velvet voice in my head telling me what to do…and finally five massive wolves coming to my rescue.

"She's been keeping an eye on you for…"

I cut him off suddenly realizing his next word. "Victoria!" I gasped.

"Yes." Jasper squeezed my hand gently. "I won't let anything happen to you, Bella. You will be safe. I'll figure out what to do and I promise you…" He looked at me momentarily before his eyes met the road again. "No one is going to hurt you."

I looked out the window as the green flashed by. Danger magnet…that's definitely what I was.

My eyelids grew heavy and I had a hard time keeping them open. "Sleep, Bella." Jasper's voice sounded so distant as overwhelming exhaustion enveloped my body. "You're safe."

With those last words, I sighed…letting my eyelids fall.

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So? What did you think?


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

A/N: I fought through some MAJOR writer's block to get this chapter out. Ugh! Hope it is okay.

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Chapter 11

BPOV

Light…bright light so blinding it hurt my eyes. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. Sleep still clouded my brain as I took in my surroundings. This wasn't my room. Where was I? My tired brain tried to rationalize my surroundings as the memory of the previous day hit me like a runner hitting a wall during a race. Irina and Victoria were coming for me. One vampire I had never met and the other…well, I had hoped that I had alluded her pursuit…I was wrong. I found myself in danger once again, with no way to control it…no way to stop it from coming.

I rolled over in the soft bed and sighed. I didn't think I had slept so well over the past three years. I didn't remember dreaming.

I sat up rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I was in a large king sized bed. The white down comforter was draped over the end of the bed making what looked like a large puffy cloud. The room was simply decorated, just my style, I mused. An oak nightstand stood to my right with a simple white shaded lamp and digital clock radio placed just within reach of where I had just been laying. The walls of the room were a soft white and along the wall to my right was a sliding glass door leading to a private patio. There was a matching five drawer oak dresser with a small thirteen inch television sitting precariously close to the edge just in front of the large bed. To my left a closet and a door leading to my own private bathroom. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought I was in a hotel room; however the noise coming from below my room along with the savory smell of bacon and sausage told me this was no hotel.

Fifteen minutes later I was walking down the stairs toward the delicious smell.

"Good morning." Jasper said as he flipped over the sizzling bacon. "Are you hungry?"

I looked at him incredulously with my mouth gaping open. "What are you doing?"

He chuckled and replied, "I am cooking the human some breakfast."

"I can see that…but…" The words I needed to find escaped me.

"Edward wasn't the only one watching The Food Network."

I shook my head in disbelief and sat down at the table. Jasper brought over my plate and set it down in front of me. My stomach growled in anticipation of the meal before me. On my plate was crisp bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, and two pieces of toast. It smelled delicious.

Jasper sat across from me and watched me take my first bite. "Wow! Jasper this is really good. Thank you."

I quickly devoured my meal realizing I was hungrier than I had thought. I sat back in my chair contemplating whether or not I wanted to bring up the events of the evening before.

"You're safe here." Jasper said reading my emotions.

"I know. I'm sorry." I said hanging my head. Once again I was faced with a delema that I needed to be saved from. I didn't have just one vampire after me…I could only hope to be so lucky…I had two after me.

"I don't want you to worry, Bella."

"I can't stay in hiding forever, Jasper." I rebuked. "What kind of life would I be living if I have to keep running?"

I looked into his liquid amber eyes willing him to understand what I was feeling at the moment. I was scared…no terrified would be a better word.

Jasper got up from his chair, came around the table and knelt down in front of me so we were eye to eye. "I am not going to tell you that you shouldn't be scared. I have never lied to you and I don't plan on starting now. The only way to ensure that you are completely safe is to face Irina and Victoria head on. At some point they will have to be taken care of. Once they are dealt with…you will be safe again. There will be no need to run then."

"What then Jasper?" I asked as the familiar hole in my chest started resurfacing. I knew that I would never be able to live without Jasper in my life. I wasn't ready to say goodbye again. I broke eye contact and pulled my knees tight into my chest.

"Bella," Jasper whispered as he lifted my chin gently off my knees. "I will always be here for you. There is no way I could say goodbye. You are more than just a friend…you're my family. I need you as much as you need me."

Tears filled my eyes and I started to shake with the weight of the emotions I was experiencing. I tried to control myself to make things easier on Jasper, but the weight of the words he spoke opened the floodgates of my heart. I had to let the feelings out.

"Let me help you." Jasper said as he took me in his arms.

"Nn..n..o," I stuttered in between sobs. "I…nnn..eed to get it out. If it is t..too mu..uch for you, I under...ssstand."

"I can handle it." he said as he rocked me like a baby.

I don't know how long I cried. It didn't matter. I had stuffed the feelings in for so long it was only a matter of time before they would erupt and overflow like a volcano. When the tears subsided, I shifted and realized that Jasper was still holding me, stroking my tear soaked hair.

"Feel better?" he asked.

I looked at him and saw the pain of my emotions written all over his face. He had taken it all in too. My pain was his pain and I was suddenly ashamed.

"I am so sorry, Jasper. You didn't have to stay and endure all of that."

"It isn't any different than the feelings I have felt myself. Your pain mirrors mine, Bella. I miss Alice as much as you miss Edward. I can't hide from my feelings anymore either."

"Are you ready to go home? To Alice?" I asked not sure if I really wanted to hear his answer.

"I need to take care of our situation here before I can do that, but yes, I think I am getting there."

I shivered and Jasper let me go.

"Why don't you get cleaned up and I'll show you around my property." Jasper said with a smile.

I was sure I looked pitiful. When I cried, my eyes would get all puffy and red. It would feel good to splash some cold water on my face. I started to walk back up the stairs to my room when Jasper's words stopped me. "Have you ever thought about putting your feelings down on paper?"

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Write a letter to him. He doesn't ever have to see it, but I think it could help you to find closure. Maybe you could finally put to rest the hurtful things he did to you in the past. Maybe it would help you move on."

"I don't know if I will ever be able to move on, Jasper." I thought about explaining that I would never be whole without Edward, but I knew that Jasper already understood my feelings before I even spoke them. I turned around and slowly walked to my room.

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Later that evening I laid in my bed tossing and turning...trying to get comfortable. I couldn't sleep. I found myself wallowing in my own self-pity, feeling sorry for myself and the danger that I once again found myself in. My brain refused to rest and my body followed suit. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward and what could have been had he not left.

The one person I thought would understand…at least my feelings about Edward…was Jasper. If he couldn't understand what I was saying, at least I knew my emotions would get through to him. I didn't know if I was ready to open that inner most part up to him just yet. That part of me had been closed off for so long…I didn't know if I was willing to share it. It was too personal. It was one thing for me to cry my eyes out while he comforted me, it was completely different to voice those feelings and put them into words. For some reason tonight, the thought of sharing my most inner secrets with Jasper along with wishful thinking about what could have been, was keeping me awake.

I envied Jasper's feelings for Alice…and I was feeling a little jealous of the fact that his feelings for her have never wavered--even in his absence. He had left her; however, his feelings for her had never changed. Oh how I envied their relationship! I could only hope that one day I would find the same love they shared. I thought I had found it with Edward. I still had a hard time letting go even after all these years. I wasn't so sure that I would ever get over the love we had shared.

"_Time heals all wounds for your kind."_ Edward had told me. Hadn't he told me I was different than other humans he had been around? My brain worked on a different frequency. I doubted that any amount of time would ever heal the wounds of my heart.

"Write a letter to Edward." Jasper told me. I needed some kind of outlet for my feelings. Crying earlier today had helped. Maybe a letter to Edward…even if he never saw it…would be the closure I would need.

The house was quiet as I made my way into the Jasper's living room to find a piece of paper and a pen, and sat on the couch. Jasper had mentioned before I went to bed that he was going hunting but wouldn't be far. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before beginning.

_Dear Edward, _Such a generic way to start a letter. When I looked at the first words they didn't seem like they portrayed how I really felt. I erased the first line and started again…

_My dearest Edward,_

_No words can ever describe the feelings I have for you. Yes…the feelings I __**still**__ have for you. Even after three years, it seems those feelings have never gone away. I lay in bed at night before falling into a restless sleep just remembering how you used to hold me and hum my lullaby._

_I'll never forget the first time I laid eyes on you in the cafeteria. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Jessica said that I shouldn't bother, but there was something about you that drew me in. Little did I know that your "dazzling" would affect me too. I remember the look in your eyes when you saw me staring at you across the room; you looked confused. I now know it was because you couldn't hear my thoughts... my mind was closed off to you. How frustrating that must have been for you at that time._

_Biology…well that was a whole different story. Your eyes were so black; I flinched when I saw them. It took all I had to sit in that chair next to you, knowing that you hated me as much as you looked like you did. My hair curtain was the only thing between us. You gripped the table so hard, I swore that I saw pieces of it on the ground after you left. Even after that experience…you intrigued me. I couldn't stay away. I was hopelessly lost and only had eyes for you._

_When you told me several days later that it would be best if we weren't friends…it was already too late for me. I knew that I had to be around you, that I would cease to exist if I didn't. Would I have stayed away if I knew then what I know now? I'm not so sure I could have even knowing I would eventually lose you._

_Our first kiss…well that was pretty amazing too. I could tell it took all the strength you had to even touch me. I laugh now at the way I lost myself in it. Somehow I knew you wouldn't hurt me…and I couldn't get enough of you._

_The nights we spent together are my most cherished times of our relationship. I know I pushed things, I could never get enough of you, but you, my beautiful Edward, were always the gentleman…always the one in control. You knew how far you could go, how much I could handle, and I want you to know that I love you even more for that. I know now that you were only trying to protect me._

_I miss you. As much as you think human memories fade, I can assure you that there isn't a memory that isn't still imbedded deep within my brain. My memory is long, Edward. I believe in the power that comes with experiencing your first true love. Edward, you will always be mine, no one could ever take your place in my heart._

_The day you left, the pain I felt, hasn't gone away either. Oh…it has lessened a bit over time, but there are still things that trigger the pain. I can't listen to music without thinking of you. It's better if I don't listen to it at all. When I feel a chill in the air…I think of you. It reminds me of your cool arms around me as I sleep._

_You said, "It will be as if I had never existed." That isn't true for me. Is it true for you? How are you coping without me? Was I just a little pet to you? Somehow, I find comfort in hoping that you are just as miserable as I am. Sure, I live my life…I go to work like everyone else, I am even taking classes at a college…but am I really living? I don't think so. I stopped living the day you left._

_Jasper thought it might do me some good to get my feelings down on paper. Maybe. I don't know if you will ever get the chance to read this. Maybe this isn't supposed to be about you. Maybe I am to learn something from it. Only time will tell._

_There are a few things I need to say, Edward, and I wish I could tell you in person. First and foremost…I LOVE YOU, always have and I know I always will. Second, I am trying to move on with my life, Jasper is a big help, and I will be forever grateful to him for being such a great friend. I only hope that I can help him as much as he has helped me. Maybe he will take his own advice and let go of the past so he can have happiness again. Finally, I hope you can find happiness in your life. Don't wallow in self-pity…I know you too well, Edward Cullen…you are too hard on yourself. Find something to make you happy and reach for it._

_What happened in the past is in the past. I am forever grateful that I got to spend the time we had together. I will never forget those precious memories as long as I am living and breathing. Be happy Edward. I am trying to be for you. I miss you more than you could ever know. I am trying my best to keep my promises to you, although I still manage to get myself into trouble from time to time._

_My future is unknown and to be quite honest, it scares the hell out of me. I wish I had Alice here to reassure me things were going to be alright but I don't. Please be assured that if something does happen to me I never stopped loving you. I will always be thankful that I moved to Forks and met you and your wonderful family. I have no regrets._

_Forever yours,_

_Bella_

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I finished writing. For the first time in a long time, I felt a loss for words. I walked upstairs to my room. I neatly folded the letter and stashed it away in my nightstand drawer. My eyes were beginning to feel heavy.

I crawled back into bed and quickly fell asleep, too drained to think of Edward anymore.

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Not much action...I know...but this chapter was necessary for the story. Okay...I have resorted to groveling...is it too hard for me to ask to get to...um... 40 reviews? I might post a little faster.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Do I have to spell it out again? We all know who owns them!**

**A/N: I am SOOOO sorry that it took me so long to update! My job takes up a lot of my time during this time of year...getting ready for students...that I barely see my family, let alone try to write. I hope you enjoy this long awaited chapter!**

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Chapter 12

EPOV

It had been two days since Alice's breakdown and it pained me to know that she wasn't any better than she was when it happened. I couldn't reach her. I felt helpless. If she was having visions I couldn't see them because she was constantly reciting some ridiculous mantra in some other language. Today it was the National Anthem…in Korean.

Life was moving on without us. Emmett and Rosalie's wedding was in a couple of months and she was frantic trying to do things on her own. She was lost without our resident planner.

I wasn't helping her either. I knew from her thoughts that she wanted me to compose something special for her day; however I hadn't touched my precious piano in three years. My inspiration was gone.

I laid on my couch replaying Alice's vision in my mind. Where was he? I tried to focus on the surroundings; however my thoughts gravitated on the outcome of the vision…Jasper's death.

I closed my eyes and willed my mind to look at the vision more closely. Trees…I saw a lot of trees…He was in a wooded area. Green…everything was green. In the distance I could see a modest home. Was it a log cabin?

I continued my dissection of Alice's prophecy and tried to focus on who was attacking him. The vision had transpired very quickly and I had a hard time slowing it down. I replayed it in my mind over and over, willing something to pop out at me.

After viewing it around 200 times I found it…

Why didn't I see it before? If I had a heart, it would be beating out of control. Tiny hands grasped Jasper's head and just before it was severed from his body, I saw it…a flash of red hair.

_Victoria!_

I quickly ran downstairs, startling Rosalie and Emmett out of their wedding discussion. I hadn't shown this much energy in a very long time.

"I know who kills Jasper!" I exclaimed through clenched teeth.

_What the hell? I haven't seen him this energized in a long time._ Emmett's thoughts on my outburst along with the smug look from Rosalie didn't damper my excitement.

"Spit it out man!" Emmett spoke. "It's not like we can read minds."

"Victoria."

"Are you sure?" Rosalie asked.

"I have been replaying the vision in my mind and I can't believe I didn't see it before." I paused to take an unnecessary breath. "Just before Jasper was beheaded I saw a flash of red hair."

"What's all the excitement about in here?" Carlisle said as he walked downstairs.

"Edward thinks he knows who's behind Jasper's future problem." Emmett stated matter of factly.

"Son, are you sure of what you saw?" Carlisle asked.

"I looked at it several times, Carlisle. I know what I saw."

"I saw it too." The voice was barely a whisper and we turned around to see where it came from.

"ALICE!" Rosalie cried.

Alice looked like I had never seen her before. She stood at the top of the stairwell looking down at us. Her eyes were lifeless and black. She hadn't feed in at least three days, and even then she would only drink what we brought her and forced down her throat. Instead of designer clothes, she wore a pair of Jasper's sweats and one of his t-shirts that he had left behind. She had lost her spunk. It pained me greatly to see my sister like this. I walked over to her, gently picked her up and moved her to the couch. She seemed breakable although I knew she wasn't.

"Alice." I whispered. "Have you seen anything else that will help us find your husband?"

Once again she started to recite the National Anthem in her mind. She was blocking something from me.

"Alice…" I begged. "I want to help you. Quit blocking me." I took her hand gently in mine and squeezed it. "Alice…" I said again.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. A growl quickly turned into a roar of rage as the latest of Alice's visions played out in my mind.

Bella.

"Edward, calm down. What is it?" Emmett slowly walked over to me with his hands raised in an attempt to show he meant no harm.

"Bella's with Jasper." Alice spoke for me as I sobbed in my hands. "He's taken her to his house…at least I think it is his house…she's in danger. He's trying to protect her."

_Well that explains what he meant about being busy with things. _Emmett thought casually.

His thought startled me. I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly. "What. Did. You. Just. Say?" I growled at my brother.

"What?…Dude! I didn't say anything." Emmett stammered.

"I know you didn't _say_ anything, Emmett!" I roared.

"Oh!...Shit, Edward! I didn't mean anything by it. I called Jasper two weeks ago to tell him about our wedding." He said gesturing between Rosalie and himself.

"And?" I urged.

"He said that he would try to be here, but he had some things to take care of first…" Emmett paused and his face lit up as he remembered the rest of the conversation. "And if Alice would look she would understand!"

"Did he say where he was?" I asked hoping that there was more to their conversation.

"No." He replied dismally. "He wouldn't tell me."

"UGHHH!!" I yelled in frustration. Why couldn't things go my way?

"Edward, calm down." Carlisle commanded calmly. "Let's think about where he might be based on the visions that Alice has had recently. There has to be some clue in them to help lead us to Jasper and Bella."

Carlisle turned to Alice. "I need you to look for Jasper, Alice. Try to see if you can get any clue to where he might be."

Alice nodded slowly and closed her eyes. I could almost feel the tension in the room as she became still. I hadn't realized how handy Jasper's gift was in situations like this one.

I concentrated on Alice's mind as she searched for Jasper's future. This vision played itself in random and fast moving pictures…

_Jasper and Bella sitting at a kitchen table…_

_Bella crying…_

_Jasper rocking her and stroking her hair…_

_Bella and Jasper walking outside beside a log cabin… _

_Jasper standing in front of a room full of students…college age?_

_Jasper arguing with…_

The visions came to an abrupt halt.

"I can't look anymore, Carlisle. I'm sorry." She lowered her head and began sobbing.

Carlisle gently hugged Alice. _Take her to her room, Edward._

I picked her up and cradled her in my arms as I walked up the stairs.

"I'm sorry." She cried softly. I knew that if she had tears they would be flowing down her white cheeks.

"Listen to me, Alice." I said as I lifted her chin to look at her. "You have nothing to apologize for. I know you were only trying to protect me from what you saw."

As we entered her room, I laid her on her giant pink bed, pulled the comforter over her and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Alice. I promise you I will get your husband home to your arms." _And Bella to mine. _I thought to myself.

"I love you too."

"If you have any more visions that could help us, please don't block them from me, okay?" I gently stroked her hair and placed my palm across her cheek.

She leaned into my hand and replied, "Okay."

"I'm going to go downstairs. Let us know if you need anything."

I left her room and made my way downstairs. Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett were seated around our coffee table with a map.

"I really don't think he's that close to us, Emmett." Rosalie stated pointing to Washington. "I think he's back in Washington. He always loved the climate of Washington because he didn't have to hide so much."

"There are other areas that are green, Rosalie." Emmett argued. "Maybe he went back to his southern roots."

"Bella wouldn't go that far from home." I interceded. "She doesn't have any family where Jasper originally came from. I think Rosalie is right. They're in Washington."

"Ha!" Rosalie exclaimed as she punched Emmett in the arm. "I knew it!"

"Ouch! Damn it, that hurt!" Emmett cried rubbing his massive arm.

"Oh, Emmett…quit acting like a baby! I'll make it up to you later." She said seductively.

"That's enough, you two. We have a lot to plan." Carlisle chastised. _Edward, I think you, Emmett, and I should head toward Washington. We'll start in Forks and move our way North._

"I don't think they are in Forks, Carlisle." I spoke out loud. "Part of Alice's vision showed Jasper in front of what looked like a college class. I think we should start at the colleges in the Seattle area and work our way east."

"He could be teaching at any college in Washington. There are tons of community colleges and larger universities there. Where are you going to start?" Rosalie asked.

"I think it is best to start at the smaller colleges in Seattle. I am sure that Jasper's control has improved, but definitely not enough to be in a larger university setting. He wasn't teaching a large class." I replied running my fingers through my already messy locks.

"Okay, then it is settled." Carlisle confirmed. "I need to speak to your mother and tell her of our plans. Rosalie, I want you and Esme to keep a close watch on Alice and let me know if she has any more visions about Jasper. Emmett… you, Edward and I will leave as soon as I can book our flight to Seattle."

Just as we were wrapping up our planning session, Esme came in the front door, her arms fully loaded with fresh plants and flowers. "Emmett, would you please help me get the rest of the flowers from the back seat of the Mercedes?"

"Sure thing, mom!" Emmett said as he barreled out the front door.

Esme set the plants down on the kitchen counter, and walked over to Carlisle. "I missed you, sweetheart." She said as she kissed him.

Her eyes drifted around the room and stopped at mine. "Edward! It is so nice to see you."

I walked over to her and gave her a quick hug. "It's good to see you too, mom."

I didn't normally show affection towards anyone in the family. I had kept my emotions locked up for so long I had to admit that it felt good to touch again. I was looking forward to finding my Bella and holding her in my arms. I hoped that she could find it in her heart to forgive me for being so stupid and leaving her in the forest three years earlier. She was the only one who could heal my heart. Just seeing her in Alice's visions made me realize what an ass I had been so long ago. I was arrogant in thinking that I was protecting her by leaving. My leaving had only made things worse. She was still in danger, and I was going to do everything in my power to save her and win her heart back. I also hoped I wouldn't be too late to save Jasper too.

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Lemon ahead…read at your own risk! No bearing on plot. I just felt I needed some smut.

RPOV

Now that we had our plan, I was more than ready for the passionate make-up sex I had promised Emmett after slugging him. As Emmett helped Esme with her plants and flowers, I slowly made my way up the stairs, catching Emmett's eyes with my own just before turning the corner to our room.

Less than two seconds later, I heard him stomp up the stairs at faster than human speed.

"Are you in a hurry, Em?" I teased as he opened the door.

"Are you teasing me, Rosie?"

Emmett grabbed the back of my neck and his lips slammed into mine. His tongue grazed my bottom lip as I opened my mouth and granted him permission to explore. Our tongues danced together and his hands grabbed my breast, forcing a moan to escape from my lips.

"God…Rose…I want you so bad!" He growled in between kisses.

"Then what are you waiting for?" I said smiling up at him.

He started unbuttoning my blouse while he moved his kisses to my jaw, behind my ear, and down my neck. I pressed myself into him and felt his hard, throbbing manhood against my stomach. My hands reached around and squeezed his ass…hard.

"Unnnngghhh!" He moaned as he ripped off my bra.

"Damn! Emmett that bra was my favorite!" I yelled at him.

"Sorry, Rose!" He said as he picked me up and tossed me onto our bed. The springs creaked and soon the bed frame collapsed from the force my body created when it hit the mattress.

His hands were all over me. He explored my body while his lips made their way to my breast. His tongue licked my pink mounds and caused me to shudder. As he played with me, I felt a bubble begin to form in my stomach.

I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. His rock hard chest flexed as he continued to squeeze my breasts with his hands.

My fingers traced the lines of his muscled chest and lightly moved down to his rock hard six pack. His skin was smooth and so hard. I couldn't get enough of him. As I moved my hands to the button on his pants, he quickly stopped massaging my breast and moved from the bed.

"Hey! Where are you going?" I said disapprovingly.

He didn't say anything. He just looked at me while he took off his pants. His eyes were pitch black and full of lust.

"Take your pants off." He commanded.

I did as I was told. I loved it when he took over.

Emmett stood at the end of the bed and massaged himself as I slowly peeled off my pants and then my wet panties. I loved to watch him get off. It made my juices flow.

He continued to stroke his cock and spoke in a low growl, "Play with yourself."

My left hand grabbed my firm breast as my right hand moved down my flat stomach toward my wet pussy. I lifted my head off the bed and licked my own nipple as my fingers moved between my folds. I licked the perky tip and looked at him through my eyelashes.

"Do you like what you see?"

The bubble was building inside and as much as I wanted to make myself cum, I wanted his large cock inside me more. "Please….Emmett?"

"What do you want me to do, Rose?" He said as he rubbed his dick faster. "Tell me what you want."

"I…want…you…to…fuck…me!" I said in between my labored breath.

Emmett grabbed me and flipped me over so I was on all fours and slammed into me. His thrusts were hard and fast. The bubble grew and just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, I felt his fingers rub the nerve filled nub between my legs.

"Ahhhh! Emmett! I am going to cum!" I screamed.

"Not yet your not!" He teased as he stopped his thrusts and moved his fingers from my clit.

"Oh God!" I growled in frustration. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Can't kill what's already dead, Rose! Turn over." He said as he pulled out of me.

I rolled over and before I could even make it to my back his massive dick was in me again. It only took four hard thrusts before my bubble popped, sending an electric current through my already shaking body. He thrust two more times before he spilled into me and fell on my chest.

"I love you, Em." I whispered as he rolled off me.

"I love you too, Rosalie." He replied as his lips met mine in a soft kiss. We held each other and it was Emmett who broke the silence.

"Are you ready for round two?"

"Bring it on!" I answered as I straddled his lap. "I can never get enough of you!"

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I didn't realize until I got into the lemon how hard it is to write from Rosalie's POV. Don't forget to review! It makes the author happy! (God! I hate to beg!)


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Same as always…Don't own them…Won't profit from them!**

**A/N: I know it has been a while since I last updated. School has started and I worked 12 days straight without a day off! Ugh! Now it is Friday...I get to sleep in tomorrow, (Thank God!) and somehow I was able to produce chapter 13! **

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Chapter 13

JPOV

I had to admit having Bella in my house felt natural. I felt more at ease around her than I probably should have been. When we first met I had to hunt nearly everyday to even be around her let alone the other humans we associated with at Forks High. Now I barely noticed the burning in my throat when she was near me. I had come a long way and if I was being honest, I was proud of myself for it.

As I ran to my hunting grounds, the events of the past couple of days played themselves out in my mind. The last person I had expected to be living across the street from Bella was Irina. Then to find out that she was keeping a watchful eye on her for Victoria was just too much for me to handle. This revelation had sparked new meaning to my dead life. I had a purpose…to protect Bella no matter what the cost. I would keep her safe.

The sweet smell of deer caught my attention and I immediately moved into hunter mode. I let my senses take over and before I knew it, I had drained three deer. I looked up in the sky and realized that I had been gone for at least two hours. I felt uneasy leaving Bella alone for one minute let alone two hours, especially considering the situation she was in.

I laughed at the change my life had made in a few short weeks. I never thought I would ever be the type of being that would be protecting a fragile human girl; but Bella had somehow let me back into her life and I was going to do everything in my power to keep myself there.

I ran swiftly through the dense woods near my home listening for her heartbeat. It was just before daylight and I was hoping she was peacefully asleep.

Just before I reached my home, I felt a wave of despair emanating from the window on the second floor…Bella's room.

I jumped up to the balcony and quietly opened the sliding glass door. Bella lay on her side, her face contorted in pain.

"Please don't leave me!" She cried.

Her voice startled me. I knew from Edward that she talked in her sleep, but I had never experienced it for myself. She rolled to her other side while kicking her feet under the covers.

She was having a nightmare…about Edward…about all of us…leaving her.

I soaked up her despair like a sponge. It was excruciatingly painful. I didn't realize someone could feel this much pain. My heart broke for her.

Without thinking I silently moved toward her, and brushed the hair away from her face. I radiated as much calmness I could accumulate as I gently stroked her hair. I had to control my own emotions as I realized the pain we had caused this poor human girl.

I felt her lean into my touch and immediately she quieted down. After a few moments, I got up to leave and I felt her gently grab my hand.

"Stay." She whispered. "Don't leave…Please?"

I was sure she had awakened, but her steady and slow beating heart along with her smooth rhythmic breathing told me otherwise.

Her grip on my hand wasn't tight; I knew I could leave if I wanted to; however I felt like I would be helping her more by staying where I was.

I moved over to the empty side of the bed and pulled the comforter from the end of the bed over her shoulders. She shivered as she snuggled her back into my chest. I used the comforter as a barrier between us as I continued throwing waves of calm at her.

Her breathing was steady and calm and soon she drifted into a deep sleep.

As I held her sleeping form, my thoughts drifted toward Alice. Emmett had said she wasn't doing well. I knew that my decision to leave would be difficult on her, what I hadn't realized was how difficult it would really be. I decided that as soon as I took care of Bella's problem, I would go home. I was ready to be in Alice's arms again. I only hoped I wasn't too late and she would take me back.

Bella rolled over and buried her face in my chest as she began to wake up. I stiffened from her movement and held my breath. The burn in my throat didn't bother me; however the emotions coming off her now were far from innocent. She took a deep breath and moaned.

"Um…Bella?" I whispered. "Bella, wake up."

"Hmmm?" She moaned as she snuggled in closer.

"Bella?" I said awkwardly. I gently touched her face. The emotions continued to roll off her in waves. I needed to move away from her before I did something we would both regret later, however she had me in a vice-grip and to move away now would definitely break some bones.

"I've missed you, Edward." She sighed in her sleep as she took my hand in hers.

"Bella…I'm not Edward…I'm Jas…"

"JASPER!" She screamed cutting me off. Her face immediately turned tomato red and she quickly sat up in bed. "What are you doing in my room?"

"It's not what you think, I can assure you." I gave her some space but stayed on the bed. "I went out hunting last night and when I returned I could tell you were having a bad dream, so I came into your room to see if I could help calm you down. You asked me to stay…so I did." I looked at her as I spoke and hoped that she could see and feel the sincerity of my words.

Her chocolate brown eyes searched mine and I sensed that she believed me. Her relief washed over me as the color left her cheeks. Shame replaced the relief as she remembered her dream just before she woke up.

"Its okay, Bella. I understand. You don't need to feel embarrassed or ashamed." I soothed.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…" She stopped her words short as her cheeks flamed again.

I reached out and held her hand. "I understand. No worries. You thought I was Edward." I gently patted her hand and smiled warmly at her.

"Thank you, Jasper." She hung her head and held the comforter close to her body.

"We really hurt you when we left, huh?" I could sense her uneasiness with my statement and I watched her body stiffen slightly.

"Yes." She whispered wrapping the comforter tightly around her middle. I could feel her pain and I wanted to save her from it, but I knew in order for her to heal she had to feel it.

"He's miserable too." I said quietly.

Her head shot up and her eyes were saucers as my words reached her ears. "How would you know, Jasper? You haven't been home in three years." Her anger was brewing under the surface and I shot some calmness her way.

"I kept in touch, and they would call me too. Emmett has kept me up to date in regards to the family. In fact, I talked to Emmett two weeks ago. He and Rosalie are getting married…again."

BPOV

_What?_ I thought to myself. "You talked to Emmett two weeks ago?"

"Yes. He called the day we ran into each other." He stated calmly.

My thoughts were running from one thing to another as I processed what this could mean. "Is he coming here?" I whispered. "Does he know you found me?"

"No. At that time I didn't want to see him or the rest of the family. I wasn't ready to yet…but Bella…I think I am ready to see them now."

I looked into his amber eyes and could see the sadness lying in them. I pulled the comforter tightly around me as I realized what he was saying. "You're going back…You're leaving me…?" My voice trailed off leaving the question hanging in the air.

Jasper pulled me to him and he hugged me gently. "No! Bella, I told you I wouldn't leave you and I meant it. You're like a little sister to me and quite frankly I couldn't imagine my life without you in it." He lifted my chin forcing me to look in his eyes. "I can't be away from Alice any longer. Emmett said she wasn't doing well. I've been away long enough. I need to go home and see if I can salvage my relationship with her…I was hoping…"

He paused and I finished his sentence for him. "I would go with you?"

"Yes…Will you?" He asked.

"I don't know. I'd like to. I miss Alice so much…I just don't know."

Was I ready to face the family that had left me so broken hearted? Was I ready to face _him_? The memories of the last time I saw him played out in my mind. He had said he didn't love me, yet Jasper just told me he was miserable too. None of it made sense.

"Jasper, I will need to think about going back with you. I'm not sure I am ready to face Edward."

"I know. I have a lot to take care of before I can go back myself.I promised Emmett I would be there for his wedding. I have a month and a half to dispose of Victoria and make you safe again." He quickly got off my bed and walked toward the door. "I have to make an appearance at SPU this morning and I would like you to go with me. Get ready and I will meet you downstairs in thirty minutes. I'll have your breakfast ready." He said as he closed the door behind him.

Twenty minutes later I was sitting at the table eating an omelet and drinking fresh squeezed orange juice. I pondered on an excuse to keep me from going to SPU with Jasper, but he caught on quickly sensing my evasive emotions. "I will feel better knowing you are with me." He said as we hurried to the car.

Jasper entered the building first and I followed behind him. I needed to keep up the pretenses of a professor/student relationship even though I had dropped his class two weeks earlier. Many students were aware that we knew each other, and some had assumed that was the reason for dropping the class, while others had speculated a more scandalous reason. I didn't care. I decided that it didn't matter what others thought, but at the same time why add fuel to the fire?

He stopped at his door and turned to me. "Are you going to your class with Miss Solomon?"

"I am hoping that I haven't missed too much. I would hate to fail out of college my first semester!" I replied half jokingly.

"I would feel better if you were here."

I sighed and patted his shoulder. "You are just down the hall. Keep your senses open and I'll keep a watchful eye as well. I'll be fine." I assured him. "How would it look if I was suddenly sitting in your class when I had dropped it two weeks ago? The time to add and drop classes is over."

"Be safe."

I chuckled to myself as I walked down the hall toward my classroom. _Where had I heard that before?_ I thought.

EPOV

I could hardly contain the excitement building inside me. If I had a heart it would be beating wildly out of control. I had a goal for my life now. The inspiration for my life was just within my reach. All I had to do was find her.

Emmett, Carlisle and I started at the smaller community colleges near Forks, but found no trace of Jasper at any of them. We now found ourselves in Seattle at the steps of Seattle Pacific University.

_Oh my God! Please tell me they are new students_.

The thoughts of the receptionist by the name of Andrea bombarded my brain. It took all I had to block her out. "Excuse me?" I said flashing my most dazzling smile.

_My God! He is gorgeous!_ "Yes? How may I help you?" _I would love to take you home._ She thought.

"I was wondering if you had a list of professors that I may look at." I smiled again.

"Um…Sure." She quickly reached into a filing cabinet and pulled out a list of names. "Can I ask why you need this list?"

"I am searching for someone, however…" I paused to take an unnecessary breath. "I don't know what name he is going by. All I know is that he may be teaching a class or two. Do you have any new professors at SPU this fall?"

Her thoughts immediately went to a professor by the name of Jackson. "There is only one this semester. His name is Jackson Smith. He teaches Civil War History." _Come to think of it, he's just as gorgeous as these guys. Why do I even bother? They are so far out of my league._

Her last thought told me what I was looking for. Jasper was Jackson Smith. I quickly nodded my head…the silent signal that we found him…and flashed another dazzling smile.

"Would you happen to know where I might find Mr. Smith? It is important." My face was only a few inches from hers.

_Oh my God! "_Um…Room 226...on the second floor." She said in a daze and pointed in the direction we needed to go.

"Thank you, Andrea..." I gently breathed in her face causing her to sway in her chair.

"Damn Edward!" Exclaimed Emmett as we moved toward the stairs. "You sure know how to lay it on thick! I thought she was going to have a heart attack."

"Bite me Emmett!" I said under my breath. "I got us the information didn't I?"

"That's enough you two. We have a job to do." Carlisle chastised as we reached the long hallway.

My nose immediately caught a familiar scent lingering in the hallway. "Do you smell that?" I asked eyes wide with excitement.

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Review please...It makes the author happy!


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Still don't own them…Stephenie is one lucky lady!**

**A/N: I am pleased to be able to put this chapter up a little sooner than normal. I have been at home sick today...really sucks...and decided I would get this chapter out. **

**I would also like to thank the loyal reviewers that I have had throughout my story: bluebelle 29, amgglekim, and streadaway. You guys rock, and keep me going!**

**This story is slowly but surely coming to a close...maybe only 3 more chapters. Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Edited: 10-29-08...There were a few areas that I thought could be better!**

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Chapter 14

JPOV

I didn't like the idea of Bella being apart from me even if she was only down the hall. I felt better knowing I could see her. I knew there was no point in arguing with her…when she made up her mind that was it, there was no changing it.

"_Keep your senses open…"_ She had said. I would be doing just that. I only hoped that my class would not pick up on the fact that I wasn't all there. Sure I would be there in body, but my keen senses were going to be on high alert, looking for anything out of place. These were the moments I wished I had a power like Edward's. It would be so easy to tell who was coming if I could hear their thoughts. A person's emotions weren't always unique and I knew that Irina had experience masking her emotions from me. I just needed to make it through the next hour and a half, and then she would be safe with me again.

As I readied myself for my class, I had the feeling I was being watched. There was an electrified feeling lingering in the air and I looked to the door to see who was there. I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

"Hello, Jasper." Carlisle said as he walked into the room with Edward and Emmett in tow.

Carlisle, as always, was calm. I could feel the happiness rolling off him as he looked at me for the first time in three years.

Emmett stood beside him with a goofy grin on his face. "How's it going, little brother? Hope you don't mind us dropping in on you like this."

Edward got straight to the point. "Where's Bella?"

I could feel the anger brewing inside me and it was threatening to boil over. "She's not here." I stated curtly. I looked him in the eye and dared him to question me. I knew I needed to get a hold of my anger before it spilled over and started affecting everyone in the room. I really didn't want to fight my brother; however he lost his right to Bella when he left.

"Don't fucking lie to me Jasper! I could smell her in the hallway!" Edward's voice got louder with each word.

"Edward, you need to calm down." Carlisle spoke softly but firmly to his youngest son. "Losing your temper isn't going to get you closer to what you want."

I took a deep breath, and tried to calm the room before I spoke. "Look…I have a class that I have to tend to in about fifteen minutes. I don't have time to go into the whole story right now. Please…" I begged.

I tried to keep my thoughts neutral. The last thing I needed was Edward going off the deep end when it came to my relationship with Bella. It had been a long time since I had to keep my thoughts quiet. I wasn't sure I could do it.

"Jasper, what the hell is going on between you and Bella?" Edward accused. Apparently I hadn't shut my mind off soon enough. I attempted to calm him but for some reason it had the opposite affect. I soon found myself up against the wall with Edward's hand on my throat.

"Edward!" Emmett and Carlisle yelled together. Emmett flew across the room and grabbed Edward. I don't think I had ever seen Edward as angry as he was now. I knew it wouldn't do any good trying to talk my way out of this situation, so I decided to spread the calm again.

"Damn it!" Edward cried as my calming waves hit him again. His anger turned to pain and I watched him fall to the floor in defeat.

As he sobbed, Emmett quietly helped him up. "Come on, man. Let's get you out of here before you make more of an ass of yourself."

Carlisle turned to me and spoke gently. "Jasper, we have to talk to you about a vision that Alice has had involving you and Bella. I understand this isn't the right time or place. Is there somewhere we can go when you're finished here?"

I walked to the back of the room and quickly jotted down directions to my home on a piece of paper lying on my desk. "I should be home in a couple of hours. Make yourselves at home, however when you hear my car coming up the drive please go the field two miles northeast of my home. I don't want Bella to know you are here…at least not until she is ready."

"Thank you, son." He said as he took the paper from me. "We'll wait for you there."

I watched him walk out of the room and I sank into my chair. I buried my face in my hands and tried to calm myself down. I wasn't prepared to see them unexpectedly. I wanted to see them on my terms and our reunion today hadn't gone the way I had imagined it would.

I knew that Bella wasn't ready to see Edward yet, and there was no way in hell I was going to ruin what I had worked so hard to build with her by betraying her trust. I would meet with my brothers and father; however Bella wouldn't be there when I did. She would see them when she was ready. I would have to make that point clear to Edward. If he wanted to see her again…he would have to follow my rules.

An hour and a half later I found myself in my car with Bella heading for home. I had to admit I was a little nervous about meeting with my family again. I tried to keep our conversation light to hide the emotions I was really feeling, however I could tell that they were getting to her too.

"Jasper, why am I feeling nervous? I have nothing to be nervous about." She said as she looked at me.

"I know I should be relieved that nothing happened while we were out today, but I can't help but feel a little anxious about what could lie ahead." Okay…so that wasn't the complete truth but it wasn't an all out lie either.

I kept my eyes on the road but I could see out of the corner of my eye that she was looking at me. "I feel safe with you. I know everything will work out the way it is intended to." She said quietly as she turned her attention to the window and the greenery flying by.

I reached out and gently touched her hand. "I certainly hope so."

The rest of our drive was spent in a comfortable silence. My thoughts drifted back to the earlier events of the day. My father had mentioned that Alice had a vision that involved Bella and me. I was pleased to hear that Alice still kept tabs on me; however the vision must have been alarming enough to cause my brothers and father to come looking for me. I was anxious to find out what it all meant.

As we pulled into the driveway, I silently hoped that Carlisle had been able to convince Edward to leave the house.

"Bella, I need to go hunt. Will you be alright here by yourself for a couple of hours?" Even though I lived in a secluded area, I couldn't help but worry every time I needed to leave. I probably didn't need to hunt as much as I did, however it helped keep the thirst at bay when I was around her.

"I'll be fine. I think I will go take a little nap." She replied as we entered the house.

The scents of my brothers and father hit me hard and I hoped that she wouldn't notice the subtle change of smell in my home. I held my breath as I waited to see if she caught any difference. My worries were unfounded as she walked up the stairs to her room.

"Sleep well," I called after her. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

She didn't turn around she only waved at me while continuing to her room. "Mm…okay." She replied with a yawn.

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My nerves were getting the best of me as I ran to our meeting place. Just before reaching the field I slowed and did my best to calm myself. I knew that it wouldn't be good if I went in with my guard up. I wanted to talk peaceably with them.

I spotted Edward first madly pacing back and forth. His impatience was strong and it was mixed with a nice dose of anger. Carlisle was standing next to Emmett speaking in a low voice.

"Stick close to him, Emmett." Carlisle told him. "I don't want him losing control."

As I walked into the field all eyes looked at me.

"Why won't you let me see her?" Edward cried. His pain was evident and I took it all in.

"When she's ready to see you, Edward, I'll let you see her." I replied as I spread some calming vibes across the field.

"LET ME SEE HER! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP ME FROM HER?" He screamed at me.

I watched as Emmett moved closer to Edward ready to pounce at a moments notice.

"Listen," I said calmly trying to keep my anger in check. It was very difficult not to get angry myself with Edward losing control. "You lost that right three years ago when you left her alone in the woods. I went along with your decision to leave her alone and I did. I didn't plan on finding her, but now that I have I am not letting her slip away again. She has forgiven me for that dreaded day, and I'll be damned if I am going to let you ruin what I have worked so hard to achieve!" Each word I spoke got louder, I had now lost all control.

Edward stared at me, seething. I was sure that my emotions would soon start to affect him, and to say I was pissed was an understatement.

I continued. "Do you know what we did to her when we left, Edward? Do you have any idea the pain she has felt? She thinks you don't love her! She believes she isn't worthy enough or good enough to have us in her life!" I was shaking with anger, and I knew if I could cry, tears would be flowing down my cheeks. Thank God I couldn't. I wasn't a sissy!

"She has nightmares every night…EVERY NIGHT! She screams in her sleep. Did you know that, Edward? Your decision to keep her safe worked really well, didn't it? She's a fucked up mess and it's all your fault! So…you can see her on _my_ terms, little brother, or you can go home. You aren't fucking her up again."

Edward looked at me his mouth open. I had never spoken to him like I just had…in fact, I don't think anyone had ever talked to him like that…my body was shaking with anger. I was so angry that I decided to show him some of what Bella had felt the day he left. Edward was standing the closest to me, and my gift hit him hard. His face changed instantaneously; I had hurt him with Bella's pain. I immediately crouched defensively, as he opened his eyes and shot daggers at me. I had to get control of my emotions before I could attempt to control his. I had to admire the control he was showing me. I knew he was extremely hurt and angry.

I concentrated on calming myself by thinking about Bella and the reason why I had brought her here in the first place…to protect her and keep her safe. I thought about how our relationship had evolved over time and the control I now had around her. What I forgotten to take into consideration while calming myself down, was that my brother could read my thoughts. It didn't register in my mind until I felt jealousy emanate from Edward.

"You fucking want her for yourself, don't you?"

_Don't be a fucking idiot, Edward. My soul mate is Alice and always will be._ I thought.

"I love her…I won't lie to you, however my love is that of a big brother in need of protecting his fragile little sister." I told him. "You need to stay away from her, Edward, at least until she is strong enough to see you."

"We will all stay away from her, Jasper." Carlisle intervened. "Edward can wait…he _will_ wait until you say it's okay."

"Thank you." I said quietly. "I understand there is something else you wanted to talk to me about."

"Yes. Alice had a vision involving you, Bella, and Victoria. It wasn't a pretty sight."

I was silent as I waited for him to continue.

"In her vision, you have an altercation with her and…well there is no other way to say this…you die."

I let the words my father spoke sink in. "Did her vision give any kind of clue to when this was to happen?"

"No." Carlisle stated.

"I told you a couple of weeks ago, bro that she wasn't doing well. This vision put her over the top." Emmett added. "We are here to insure that she gets her husband back."

"So I guess you are staying then?" I asked.

"We will find our own place. We won't go against your wishes in regards to Bella. We need to come up with a plan to prevent Alice's vision from coming to light." Carlisle walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "I have missed you, son. Our family isn't complete without you. Please say you will come home when this is all over."

"I plan to. I miss Alice so much and it pains me to know that I have done this to her. I only hope she will forgive me." I replied.

"Well then I think it is time we come up with a plan on keeping Bella safe from Victoria."

As we talked, I could still feel Edward's anger, however I could also feel his acceptance at what I had said. He was no different than me. We both had a lot to work on before our soul mates would welcome us back. I was up for the challenge. I only hoped he was too.

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Remember to review...ummmm...do you think I could get 10?


	15. Chapter 15

**Standard Disclaimer: Don't own them, won't profit from them, never will!**

**A/N: Ugh! This chapter was a bitch! Damn writer's block! I thought I would never get past it. Thanks to those that have reviewed my story. It really means a lot to me! To my loyal readers...you are the best!**

**EmPOV is especially for the reviewer that stated they would like to know what Emmett thought when Jasper called Edward out on what he did to Bella. It was difficult getting into his head...I hope I did him justice.**

**This is my longest chapter to date...ENJOY!**

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Chapter 15

BPOV

Our car ride back from SPU was a quiet one, but not uncomfortably so. At one point I had to ask Jasper why I was feeling nervous and his answer about what we could possibly face ahead satisfied my question; however I had the distinct feeling he was hiding something from me.

I watched the greenery pass by me in a blur and I wondered how long I would be in the situation I was in. How long was I going to be staying with Jasper? When would I be able to resume the life I had before he showed up? Did I really want to go back to being alone?

I knew the answer to the last question immediately…there was no way I was letting Jasper walk out of my life again. Jasper was more than a friend, he was family. I began to realize the calming effect he had on me. I enjoyed his company and even in our quiet times it wasn't awkward.

As we pulled into the driveway, I felt tension in the air and I turned to look at Jasper. He was looking intently at the house as if there was someone there. He turned to me and smiled and asked if I would be okay while he went hunting for a while. I told him I was tired and would probably take a nap while he was gone. He never went far and I knew that I was safe at his house.

He opened the door and I moved toward the stairs. Something didn't seem right about the house, however I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and my mind had a way of deceiving me. As I walked up the stairs, I waved goodbye to Jasper and quietly entered my room.

As soon as my door opened, I was hit with a scent that was so sweet it nearly knocked me over. I thought about calling for Jasper to make sure that it wasn't something I should worry about, but I had already seen him take off behind the house. I looked around the room and noticed that everything was in its place. For some reason I wasn't afraid, although I probably should have been considering there were a couple of vampires that wanted me dead. There was something familiar about the scent that put me at ease. I just didn't know why.

I changed out of my dressy clothes and put on a pair of black yoga pants and a dark blue tank top and crawled under the covers on my bed. My eyes drifted closed and I quickly fell asleep…

_I am once again in my meadow. It isn't dark but just before twilight, my favorite time of the day. I am seated on a blanket in the middle of the meadow and I have my Romeo and Juliet novel beside me. Next to my book is a plate with fruit and cheese on it. I pick up a piece of melon and suddenly a breeze blows by blowing the pages of my book._

_I look around and see nothing. The trees are moving slowly with the breeze. I am at peace._

_Without warning the sky turns dark and I strain to see my surroundings. I know instinctively the meadow is no longer safe for me. There is danger in the air, so thick I can feel it, and I am terrified._

_I stand up, look around and find that there is no way out of the meadow. I don't know how I got here._

_Terror grips me and I wrap my arms around my middle. I have never felt so afraid._

_I hear a rustling sound from the edge of the meadow and turn towards it. I look to my left and see four heavily cloaked figures standing in the distance. They begin to move forward, however their feet are not touching the ground. They are floating on air. All I can see are their eyes…liquid topaz eyes…beautiful yet frightening. I wrap my arms tighter and gasp for air._

_I try to scream but no sound comes out. My voice is gone and I realize I can't cry for help._

_I look to my right and start running toward the wall of trees in front of me. Just before the edge of the meadow I stop. Two more figures come out of the forest and stand only a short distance in front of me. With help from the light of the full moon overhead I can see their faces. I instantly recognize Victoria, however the other face is one I don't know…Could this be Irina?_

_I am surrounded. There is no escape, and I have no voice. I try to scream again, and no sound will come from my lips._

"_Come here, Bella." Victoria croons. "We won't hurt you."_

"_No, Bella!" A velvet voice stops me. "They are lying to you. Come over here, you'll be safe with us."_

_My prince? _

_I look left and right and notice Victoria and Irina are beginning to move toward me. Fear and danger blanket my surroundings and once again I can hardly breathe._

_Just before they reach me, one cloaked figure grabs me while the other three crouch down ready to pounce on my enemies in front of me. My prince roars and the others follow. I watch in horror at the scene that plays out in front of my eyes. I must get away…I must get away._

"_Bella, hold still…I don't want to hurt you." The figure that holds me says._

_I continue to fight the strong hold of his arms…fear has taken over my whole body. I have to fight._

"_Bella…Bella! Hold still. I won't hurt you. You are safe with me." He pleads…_

"NO!!" I screamed. My eyes shot open and I had a hard time catching my breath. Two cold arms were holding me down and I couldn't move.

"Bella…are you awake?"

I turned toward the voice and saw Jasper hovering over me, his eyes wide. He gently let go of my arms and the realization of my dream hit me.

"Oh God, Jasper! It was horrible." I cried as flung myself into his arms.

His body stiffened under mine and I immediately pulled back. "I'm so sorry, Jasper! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just give me a minute." He replied. He walked out onto the balcony, took a few breaths and walked back inside.

"Okay." He said as he sat on my bed with his arms open. "Come here and tell me what happened."

I felt a wave of calm envelop me as I cautiously crawled back in Jasper's lap. His cold body was refreshing, and even though he was hard as stone, I felt at home in his arms. As of late, this had started to become routine for us...I would have a nightmare...Jasper would wake me up...I would tell him my dream as he calmed me with his gift.

"I had a nightmare again. This one began much like the others; however it changed so quickly. I couldn't speak or scream, and I was again in the meadow. I was reading a book and eating fruit and cheese. It started out really peaceful."

Jasper was absentmindedly stroking my hair and calming my nerves as I continued speaking. "A breeze began to blow and it became really dark. It wasn't until this time that I started to feel scared. I tried to find a way out but couldn't remember which way I had come in."

I took a deep breath as the memory of my dream flooded my mind. The tears started to well up in my eyes and I fought to keep them away.

"I looked to my left and there were four cloaked figures in the trees. All I could see were their eyes. I recognized the color…their eyes were just like yours. They started to walk toward me and I was so frightened I ran in the opposite direction. Right before I reached the edge of the meadow another two figures came out of the trees and started walking toward me. The moon cast a light on their faces and it was Victoria and…Irina…I think…I have never seen her before…"

I was crying now and looked up at Jasper to see his face contorted in pain. "I'm s s sorry, J j jasper!" I cried in between sobs.

"Shh, now! Its okay, Bella. I can handle it." He said as he spread some more calm over me.

"Victoria said 'Come here, Bella. We won't hurt you', and continued to move toward me. I was so scared I couldn't move! One of the other figures told me not to listen and said she was lying to me. I tried to scream but again, no sound would come out. The next thing I knew I was being held by one and the other three were crouched down ready to pounce on Victoria and her companion. Before you woke me up, I heard one of them make a noise so loud it had to have been a roar."

"You were screaming in your sleep and I heard you as I was coming back from my hunt. When I got to your room, you were kicking and screaming at the same time. I had to restrain you, so you wouldn't hurt yourself." Jasper said soothingly.

"You were a part of my dream!" I exclaimed pulling back to look at him. "You told me to hold still because you didn't want to hurt me."

"Yes, but you weren't dreaming that part, I actually did tell you that." He said with a chuckle.

"It's not funny!" I said as I hit his arm. "I was really scared!" All of a sudden I was feeling a little silly telling him my dream. It seemed so funny now…not frightening at all.

"Are you scared now?" He said smiling down at me.

I could feel happiness all around me and I felt like laughing. "Jasper! Knock it off!"

"Okay. Okay. Better?"

I felt the happiness fade away and was suddenly hit with the realization that there were three others in my dream. "If you were in my dream…who were the other three?"

He sighed.

"Bella," Jasper whispered, "it was just a dream."

He gently gave me a squeeze before he unwrapped my arms from his body. Jasper moved swiftly off the bed and walked toward my bedroom door. Before he left the room, he turned and looked at me one last time with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. I didn't know why, but I felt like he was trying to keep something from me. He had always been honest with me before, but for some reason I felt like there was something he wasn't telling me.

I realized my dream probably wasn't just a dream…it was more like a premonition.

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EmPOV

"Of all the stupidest, coward like things you could do, Edward! You fucking leave her by herself in the forest after telling her you don't love her anymore!" I screamed at Edward who stared at the forest ahead of him, watching Jasper leave.

"I wanted to keep her safe." He whispered. Pain was etched across his face and he sank to the ground.

"Well, you did a fine ass job of keeping her safe, didn't you? And to think we _listened_ to you! I was a fucking idiot to believe we were doing the right thing by her. You didn't just screw her life up, Edward; our whole family has changed because of your decision! Have you looked at this family lately? Of course not! You're too busy feeling sorry for yourself while the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces…Keep her safe? Fuck you, Edward!"

I was tired. Not physically tired…no…vampires didn't get physically tired…but I was tired. Tired of trying to be the strong one. Tired of pretending everything was alright when it wasn't. Tired of seeing Alice slowly drift away. Tired of watching Edward detach himself from life since leaving Bella three years ago.

I watched as Edward stood up and clenched his fists into tight balls. "I will make her safe again." He said tensely.

"Haven't you done enough already? Leave her alone, Edward. You made your choice three years ago."

A growl erupted from deep in his chest and I knew then that I had pushed the wrong button. His eyes turned black and before I knew it I was flat on my back with an angry Edward glaring from above. I pushed him off my body and he landed twenty feet away. He was no match for me. I could go at it all day.

"BOTH OF YOU STOP!" Carlisle yelled shaking us out of our anger.

Edward was crouched down ready to pounce, and I stood up and looked at our father.

"You aren't helping Bella by fighting with each other." He said as he laid his hand on Edward's shoulder to calm him.

Edward relaxed his stance and looked at Carlisle. "I will always regret leaving her, and I _will_ do what it takes to make her safe again."

"I know, son."

"Humph!" I spat.

Edward glared at me again and I dared him to make a move with my thoughts. "I'm done fighting with you, Emmett. I made a mistake…a horrible mistake…and I plan on making it right." He looked at me as he spoke and added, "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me!" I replied hastily. "You hurt Bella!" _And the rest of the family. _I thought.

"I know! I know!" He replied as we ran toward Jasper's house.

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EPOV

We ran in silence, well at least no one was speaking out loud, and I contemplated what had transpired the last couple of days. We had found Bella, and although I hadn't seen her yet, I knew my time was coming. I had a lot of forgiveness to ask for. I only hoped that she could find it in her heart to let me talk to her. I needed her. I knew I always had, however it seemed like I needed her more mow than ever before. She was so close, I wasn't going to let her go again.

Jasper's house came into view and Carlisle spoke to me through his thoughts. "_You will listen to your brother, Edward. You are not to go near her."_

"I _know_." I growled.

All of a sudden I heard a scream coming from the second story balcony. I was immediately on alert. _That's Bella!_

I watched as Jasper quickly jumped to the balcony and went inside her room.

_Bad dream again._ He thought.

I cringed as I looked at Bella through his eyes. She was a much more frail version of the Bella I feel in love with. She had lost weight and her skin was paler than I remembered. As she continued to kick and scream, it took all I had not to jump to her rescue. Emmett flanked my left and Carlisle was on my right ready to hold me down if I couldn't control myself and I was afraid they would actually have to use force to do just that.

"Bella, hold still…I don't want to hurt you." Jasper cried. I could see that he was trying to find a safe way to pin her down. A loud roar escaped from my chest, and Emmett grabbed my arms preventing me from moving.

_He won't hurt her._ Emmett thought.

All I could do is glare at him. Jasper was one of the reasons I left in the first place!

I watched as he gently held Bella down and said, "Bella…Bella! Hold still. I won't hurt you. You are safe with me."

I roared again at the sound of his words. _That's my Bella!_ I thought as pure jealousy coursed through my dead body.

I heard her scream once again as Jasper held her down.

"Bella? Are you awake?" He asked.

"Oh God, Jasper! It was horrible!" My angel's voice cried and I watched through Jasper's eyes as she launched herself into his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper! Are you okay?" She cried as she realized what she had done.

"Just give me a minute." He replied and I watched him walk out onto the balcony to take some deep breaths.

"You hurt her, I'll kill you myself." I said so low only he could hear.

_I won't hurt her, Edward. Stay away._ He thought as he took a few more breaths.

I watched him walk back into the room, sit on her bed and open his arms to her.

It pained me to hear her replay her dream, but it pained me even more to watch my brother comfort her the way I used to. It was too much for me to bear.

I jerked out of Emmett's grasp and ran far enough away that I couldn't hear his thoughts.

The only thought running through my mind was how I had destroyed the best thing that had ever happened to me and it would be a miracle if I ever got her back.

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**A/N: Please...Please...Please! Review!**

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	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Not benefiting from this…however…I do love playing with Stephenie's characters!**

**A/N: Writer's block got the best of me while trying to get this one out! I think it turned out pretty good. Please remember to review. I do have some ideas about a lemony one-shot I would like to do based on a previous chapter. Let me know what you want!**

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Chapter 16

BPOV

I sat on my bed for a few minutes thinking about the dream I had just woke up from. The dreams were getting scary…so scary I dreaded going to sleep. I was afraid to dream.

I could hear Jasper clanging around in the kitchen downstairs and I decided to join him. I was hoping that I could get him to talk to me. The behavior he had shown today wasn't what I was used to from him. He had always been completely honest with me. I had never felt like I didn't know exactly what was going on in his head like I did now. The feeling unnerved me. I was determined to get the truth.

I reached the kitchen to find him covered from head to toe in cornmeal. "What are you doing?" I asked trying not to laugh at the sight before me.

"You liked my breakfast earlier, so I thought I would try my hand at making dinner," he answered incredulously. He continued clanging pans trying to find one that would fit the blob that sat on the counter.

"Ummm…okay…what are you _trying_ to make?" I asked as I peered over his shoulder to figure out what the blob was.

"Fried fish?" he replied sheepishly.

"That is fish?" I pointed at the blob near the stove. It had started to spread across the counter like it had a mind of its own. It was a gooey cornmeal mess. I looked at him as he looked at me and back to the blob.

"Yes?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I snorted as the laughter overtook me. Jasper watched as I tried to gain control of myself and soon a smile spread across his features as well. I soon found myself on the floor gripping my sides as I begged him to help me.

"Please……piss me off……or something!" I managed to get out in between hysterical fits.

Jasper was laughing with me and I had to admit that it felt good; however he was quickly losing control over the emotion flying around the room and I didn't know if he would be able to stop. We had been under so much stress lately, laughing felt good. He needed the release as much as I did.

"Okay…okay!" He laughed and I felt the room slowly calm.

We sat on the floor a few minutes as we calmed ourselves down.

"I'm sorry, Jasper, but I don't think I can eat the fish." I could feel the giggles coming on again and I fought the urge to bust a gut.

"I understand. Let me clean up and I'll take you out. How does that sound?" He smiled a genuine smile as he got up and threw the blob into a near by trashcan.

"I'd like that." I got up and walked toward the stairs. "I'm going to clean myself up and I'll meet you down here in fifteen minutes."

In typical Bella fashion, just as I reached the middle of the stairwell, my right foot caught on the step. I tried to catch myself, but soon found myself back at the bottom of the stairs.

"OUCH!" I cried. I stayed on the floor trying to assess the damage to my body.

Arms attached?

Check.

Legs okay?

Check.

Head injury?

I opened my eyes to find Jasper hovering over me with a concerned look on his face.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I don't know." I held out my hand. "Will you help me up?"

He gently took my hand and helped me to my feet. My head was swimming and I stumbled again. I put weight on my right foot and howled in pain. Tears sprang instantly to my eyes and I leaned into Jasper for support.

"Oh…it hurts!" I sobbed. My head was throbbing from my fall and it felt like all of the blood in my body was traveling south to my injured ankle. I could feel my pulse through it.

"Let's get you to the couch," Jasper stated calmly. He scooped me into his arms bridal style and swiftly moved to the couch. He gingerly sat me down and grabbed a couple of pillows from the end of the couch to prop my foot up.

"Do you think it's broken?" I asked while he looked at my ankle.

"I don't know. I'm no doctor." His southern drawl came through.

I could see him hesitate a little before placing his cool hands on both sides of my now swollen ankle. The coolness of his hands felt so good. I leaned back and closed my eyes.

"Maybe I should take you to the hospital, Bella; your ankle doesn't look so hot," he said softly. He took his cool hands off my ankle and immediately it began to throb.

"Please put your hands back!" I exclaimed as I quickly sat back up.

"God! Why do I have to be such a klutz?" I muttered to myself.

I felt his cool hands around my ankle again. "Bella? I really think you need to be seen."

"Humph! Where's Carlisle when you need him, huh?" His hands tightened slightly around my sore ankle and I winced in pain. _What the hell?_ I thought.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to squeeze." He instantly released his hold and before my mind could register that his hands were missing from my ankle, a bag of ice had replaced them.

"So…I guess we're ordering in?" I questioned as I shifted my body so I was more comfortable.

"Chinese or Pizza?" he chimed in as he lightened the mood.

"Chinese," I answered.

"By the way…we are still going to the hospital," he stated as he got up to get the phone. "You stomach however, tells me you need to eat first."

* * *

EPOV

I stayed away from Jasper's house as long as I could; however the pull I felt toward Bella was stronger than I had thought. After only a few minutes I found myself back at his house looking up to the balcony that led to my Bella. I heard her moving around the room and I wanted so desperately to jump up to the deck and grab her, but Jasper's voice rang loud and clear in my mind.

_"Don't do it, Edward. I swear I will leave with her and you will never see her again,"_ he thought as I heard him clanging around in the kitchen.

_Damn empath!_ My feelings for Bella had always given my motives away before I realized what I had even been thinking. I sometimes felt his gift was more useful than mine. Sure, I could read thoughts…all except for one person's…Jasper, could feel their emotions before they even could think a thought about them. His senses were more alert than mine were at times. He couldn't tune out emotions the same way I could tune out voices.

Jasper looked out the kitchen window and spotted me instantly hiding in the trees. _"She's coming downstairs. Please keep your distance."_

I nodded my head slightly but made no move to leave. I was going to take every chance I could to see her even if it was at a distance.

I wasn't prepared for what I saw...

There she was…in a simple pair of tight black pants and a dark blue tank top…perfection. I swore I felt my dead heart swell at the sight of her. Her skin was milky white, just as I remembered, however I could now see the dark circles below her eyes more clearly now. She wasn't sleeping well. Her frame was thinner and the clothes she was wearing hugged every curve…she had lost weight…too much weight. Had I done this to her? I berated myself further and at the same time couldn't seem to take my eyes off of her.

I overheard their conversation about dinner and realized that Jasper was trying to cook her something to eat.

"I didn't know you could cook," I whispered so only he could hear.

_"I did fine this morning…she said it was good…I'm not so sure about dinner,"_ he thought.

I was so lost in Jasper's thoughts that I nearly missed the music my ears had been waiting to hear for so long…Bella laughed.

Oh! How I had missed that sound. She was laughing so hard that I watched as her knees buckled underneath her and she fell to the floor. It took all I had not to run in there and make sure she was alright.

Jasper soon joined in with her and the jealousy I felt before reared its ugly head once again. "Get control of yourself Jasper."

_"I'm fine. I never knew laughing could feel so good. I need to do this more often…It's all because of Bella."_ A growl started to form in my chest as his thoughts spoke the truth of how he really felt about her.

All I could do is stand and watch them roll around on the floor. My heart was breaking…I was too late. She had Jasper and didn't need me any longer. I had done this to myself. I was the one that left her in the forest. I was the one who lied and said I didn't love her anymore…the blackest of all lies.

Their laughter died down and I heard Jasper ask her if she wanted to go out to eat, shaking me out of my reverie. I watched as she stood up and walked toward the stairs. My mind started to wander once again at where my decision had landed me. I wasn't ready to accept that she was out of my life forever. I was willing to wait for her…as long as it took…I had forever. I would fight Jasper for her if I had too. I knew it would destroy the family…but when it came to Bella, I would do anything to make her mine again.

_"Stop your self-pity shit, Edward; I can feel it in here. How many times do I have to tell you we're just friends?"_

"Your thoughts say differently," I whispered back.

He looked at me through the window again as we continued our argument.

_"My thoughts say differently? What the hell does that mean? Do you know how long it has been since I really laughed? Is it a crime to give the credit for that to Bella? She's a great friend, Edward. She has healed me in more ways than I can count. It is because of her that I am going to go home to Alice! Alice, Edward, you know? MY WIFE?!"_

I was about to say something back but Bella's scream cut through the air like a knife.

I moved quickly from where I was standing over the sliding glass door leading into the dining room. _"You take one more step…"_ Jasper warned.

"Ugh! She's hurt!" I said through clenched teeth.

"Are you alright?" I heard him ask. She was lying on the floor, her eyes closed. Her eyes slowly fluttered open.

"I don't know," she said as she held out her hand to him. My heart broke…that should be me.

I watched as Jasper helped her to her feet. She started to stumble and caught herself on her right foot and immediately winced in pain. From where I was standing I could see that her ankle was already beginning to swell. I didn't need my years in medical school to know that it needed some medical attention.

_"Oh God! What do I do?"_ his thoughts raced, trying to find the best solution to his problem.

"Take her to the couch and put some pillows under her ankle," I whispered.

I watched him gently pick her up and move her to the sofa in the living room. His hands gently examined her ankle and I watched as she laid her head back.

"Do you think it's broken?" I heard her ask.

"I don't know. I'm no doctor." _Edward, maybe you should get Carlisle…it looks pretty bad._

My heart soared at his request. If he was going to allow Carlisle to see her it would only be a matter of time before I would get my chance too.

Sensing my joy, his thoughts screamed in my head again. _"NEVER MIND! I'll just take her to the hospital."_

His fingers left her ankle and again she winced in pain. "Please put your hands back!" she screamed.

"She needs to ice the ankle, Jasper. Your cold hands are easing the pain."

"Bella? I really think you need to be seen," he said ignoring my comment as he placed his hands back on her ankle.

"Humph! Where's Carlisle when you need him?" she stated casually.

"I could go get him…" I offered again.

_"No!"_ he screamed back at me through his thoughts. His hands tightened slightly around her ankle and she cried out in pain.

"Ice…Jasper! Get some ice!"

He quickly ran to the kitchen to retrieve the ice and gently placed it on her ankle. I wanted desperately to run through the window and throw myself into Bella's arms and tell her everything would be alright, but my legs wouldn't move. I was going to honor my brother's requests…for now.

_"I'm going to take her to the hospital. There is no reason for you to stick around. Go back to Emmett and Carlisle. I can take care of her."_ He looked at me as I peered through the window. I slowly turned around and ran to the forest behind me.

"Take care of her…I'm going to hunt," I spoke just before I flew into the darkness.

* * *

BPOV

Two hours later I was back on Jasper's couch with a bag of ice on my heavily wrapped ankle and a box of fried rice in my hands. "At least it isn't broken." I stated in between bites of rice. "I thought for sure I heard a snap." I looked at Jasper who was seated in a chair next to the couch.

"Ha-ha! You're very funny," he smirked. "I should have been there to catch you."

"You can't be there all the time. I'm fine. All I have to do is stay off of it for a few days and I'll be as good as new." I looked at him again and noticed his eyes were nearly black.

"Didn't you go hunting earlier today?"

"Yes…why?" he answered fidgeting in his chair. Something was up. I could feel it.

"Your eyes are nearly black. You're hungry."

"I didn't find enough to satisfy me, I guess." He looked down as he spoke. He was lying to me.

"Don't lie to me, Jasper. You didn't hunt at all did you?"

"No."

I could tell by his short answer that I probably wasn't going to get anymore information out of him; however that wasn't going to stop me. I had to press him more. "What were you doing then?"

He moved over to where I was lying, grabbed the box of rice from my hands and set it on the floor. His dark eyes looked into mine as he grabbed my warm hands in his and spoke. "I need you to understand that I wouldn't normally keep anything from you, Bella. I don't want to lose your trust, but I need you to trust my judgment right now without asking questions."

"You can't tell me right now…but you will later?" I wanted to believe that what he was keeping me from was for my own good. I had no reason not to trust him. It frustrated me not to know what was going on, but I could deal with a little frustration as long as he agreed to tell me more later.

"I promise. You will know everything when you are ready, okay?" I watched as his eyes swirled colors. He was dazzling me…I had to blink to break free from his gaze.

"Okay." My stomach growled and he quickly put the box of rice back in my hands.

"You eat…and I will go hunt. When I come back if you are up to it we can watch a movie." He walked to the sliding door near the kitchen and before walking outside added, "Don't move. I'll be back in about an hour."

"Like I can move!" I yelled at him as the door shut.

I must have fallen asleep because what felt like only seconds later my body was wrapped in cold arms and was placed gently on my bed. "Jasper, I'm so sorry! I must have dozed off," I yawned.

"Shhh! It's okay. You had a rough day. Go to sleep, Bella." I felt his hand gently graze my cheek.

"'Kay," I said sleepily as Jasper pulled the covers up near my chin before tucking me in. I felt a blast of calm wash over me as I snuggled into my bed and fell into a deep sleep.

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**A/N: Okay...so this was mainly a little filler; however I can tell you that it will be very important to the climatic scene coming up. I would love to have 20 reviews before I add the next chapter...the prince is returning!**

**God! I hate to beg...but Please? Please review!**

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	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Not benefiting from this…however…I do love playing with Stephenie's characters!**

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get up...I wanted it to be perfect. Writer's block held me up a little but a very nice reviewer (sorry don't remember name) gave me some suggestions and it worked! Thanks so much for your help.**

**Edward makes an appearance again! Oh...and by the way...longest chapter yet!**

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BPOV

_I am once again in the meadow…how do I always end up here…there is a slight breeze and I am lying on the soft earth below. No blanket is needed the ground is so soft. It is like I am lying on a pillow._

_The sun is beginning to set beyond the trees and the breeze gets suddenly cooler._

_I close my eyes relishing the peacefulness that surrounds me. There is nothing here to frighten me this time; I only hear the sounds of birds in the distance. A smile creeps across my face. "Why can't my dreams always be this peaceful?" I say out loud._

"_Are you really dreaming, love?" a velvet voice asks in the distance._

_My eyes shoot open and look for the source of the voice. On the edge of the trees I see him, or at least the figure I believe to be him…my prince._

_He slowly moves toward me, and as he gets closer the only thing I can truly see are his eyes. I am drawn in by them and they take my breath away…soft, beautiful, warm, golden eyes. I hold my breath, held captive by his dazzling gaze._

"_Breathe, my sweet Bella," he croons as he moves toward me._

_His cool hand caresses my cheek as his sweet breath whispers in my ear, "I have missed you so much, my love."_

"_I've missed you too," I whisper so low he couldn't hear me. I look at his face and see his eyes smiling._

_I blush realizing that he heard my comment and lower my eyes. His hand traces my jaw line and slowly lifts my chin. "Don't hide yourself from me. I want to see your eyes. You are so beautiful."_

_He leans down and kisses my lips. I am shocked at first but then feel myself relax as he skillfully caresses my lips with his. My head is spinning and the dizziness is almost too much as I realize he is pulling away._

"_Please…don't go…I need you…" I beg him._

"_I'm not going anywhere…I'll be watching over you," he replies as his cool arms wrap around me._

_I snuggle into his embrace feeling his coolness envelop my body. I lay still and breathe deeply taking in his scent. He smells so good…like cinnamon and honey. I close my eyes as I feel his hands move down my back. The coolness of his hands can be felt through my thin linen dress…I shiver at his touch._

"_Are you cold, my love?" he asks as a blanket suddenly appears beside me. He drapes it over my shoulders and I snuggle in closer relishing in his coolness._

_My lips find his neck and I timidly begin to kiss it. He smells so good and tastes even better; and I continue my investigation of his neck with my lips._

"_Unnggh, Bella," he moans. "You need to stop."_

"_Why?" I inquire as I continue kissing his neck. "We've been here before."_

_I feel him stiffen beside me…odd…I pull back to look at him, again only seeing his eyes. "Have I done something to displease you, my prince?" I ask after a short moment of silence._

"_Never," he replies taking my lips again feverishly._

_His kiss deepens and I feel his tongue dance with mine. My whole mouth is numb…and his taste is like nothing else I have ever tasted before. Is this what it was like the first time? I moan as I wrap my legs around him, pulling my body closer to his. I can't get close enough._

"_Please…" I beg grinding my hips into him. I can feel his arousal, hard against my stomach. "I need you."_

"_Bella…" he breathes as he gently pushes me away. "You don't know what you are doing."_

"_Yes I do," I say seductively. "We've done this before, why are you suddenly so shy?"_

_He holds me tightly, preventing all movement and begins humming. It is a melody so familiar and also calming at the same time. I find myself falling…falling into a very deep slumber._

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EPOV

After feeding on a few deer, I ran back to Jasper's place and found myself once again lurking in the trees surrounding his house. I knew that I needed to meet up with Carlisle and Emmett to discuss strategy for destroying Victoria; however the pull taking me toward Bella was much stronger than the need to go discuss plans. As much as I had been warned to stay away, my body and dead heart had other intentions. I knew I was pressing my luck with Jasper, but I hoped he would understand my feelings for her and give me a break.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't sense his approach.

"_Don't you have anywhere else to go?"_ Jasper thought as he slowly approached me.

"Not really," I replied curtly. "How's Bella's ankle?"

"It isn't broken, however she will have to be on crutches for a while. She twisted it pretty badly."

"You really aren't going to let her try to walk on crutches, right?" I questioned.

"No, stupid. If I did that she would probably break the other leg," he chuckled. "I plan on carrying her around. She is going nowhere near those crutches."

I sat on the soft grass pulling my legs to my chest, my mood changing immediately after his last comment. The thought of him touching her and cradling her was almost too much to bear. Jasper sat down beside me and put his hand on my shoulder. "You're killing me, man," I said while looking up at the balcony that lead to the love of my life.

"I know," he answered quietly. "And I am sorry…"

I looked at him and rolled my eyes,_ "Ya, right!"_ I thought to myself.

"I realize you think you know what is best for her right now, but I can guarantee you…" he paused shifting his eyes to the balcony. "I think you have no idea what you really did to her."

"All I have to do is look at her, Jasper, and I can see what I have done."

"You only see what is on the outside, Edward. You have no idea the ramification our leaving left on her soul. I have witnessed it first hand. I have felt her pain." His hand squeezed my shoulder gently. "I have felt your pain too. I understand how much you are hurting, but you need to understand one important thing…Bella may be human, but her pain is very much as powerful as yours."

"What have I done?" I cried.

"You did what you thought was best for her, Edward, no one is faulting your intention, not even me…especially me," he added silently. "You were trying to protect her from our life. The question I have for you is did you ever think about what she wanted?"

"She's just a human girl! I dazzled her…she had told me so many times before how she couldn't think straight when she was around me! I didn't even realize I was doing it!" my voice rose with each word spoken. "You know what she wanted! She wanted to be one of us! I just couldn't let that happen."

"It's her life, Edward. She had a right to choose what she wanted."

"She didn't know what she was asking for." I sighed and brought my legs closer to my chest. It felt as if my insides were ripping apart. "I couldn't damn her soul…no matter how much it would pain me someday for her to die…she deserved to live a normal human life."

"_Masochist,"_ Jasper thought.

"I didn't know this would happen, Jasper! I really thought she would get over me and move on. I wanted her to forget."

"No you didn't," he said as he turned to face me again. "You really didn't want her to forget you, because then the choice you made to leave her so she could have a 'normal' human life, as you so graciously put it, would have been proven the right choice. You knew deep down inside that you were making the wrong decision…that leaving her would destroy you both, as it has…and now you are facing the consequences of that decision, and you can't handle it."

"I just want to make it right!" My body started to shake from the emotions I was feeling. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or punch something or someone. "I need her, Jasper! I screwed up…screwed up royally! I can admit when I am wrong, but you are punishing me beyond what I can handle."

"You've watched her from afar before," he said simply.

"Yes I have. Please, Jasper…I am begging you…she will never know I am there. I just need to be near her. It's ripping me apart not to be near her. If you don't want her to know I am here, fine…but please let me see her up close. I'll go to her when she is sleeping…just like I used to in Forks."

I was desperate and I hoped that Jasper could sense the truth of my words. I couldn't believe that I had resorted to begging my brother to allow me see her, but right now I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to go against his wishes, this was his home, however I needed to be as close to Bella as I could get, even if that meant she wouldn't know I was there.

"And what if she has a nightmare? She usually wakes up kicking and screaming and lately, I have been the one to calm her down, Edward. If she wakes up and sees you there…all the progress I have made with her will be gone. She has forgiven me and she trusts me. I will not jeopardize what I have worked to hard to ascertain! It has been killing me to lie to her the past couple of days. I promised her I would always tell her the truth. Unlike you I haven't hidden any thing from her…well, not up until now. It's killing me to have to do it. I don't know, Edward. It is pretty risky."

"She won't know I am there. I won't go unless you are home, and if she has a nightmare, I will leave and you can take care of her the way you have been." I cringed as I spoke. I wanted to be the one to comfort her. I still doubted Jasper's intentions with her; he seemed to care a little too much. I wouldn't be surprised if in the short time he had been around her, he hadn't fallen in love with her. She happened to be the most compassionate, loving, honest, and care free person I have ever met. Yes, her blood sang to me, but her appeal reached beyond just her scent.

Jasper found her scent appetizing as well. In the past he wouldn't go near her because of the blood lust he experienced around her. Now that he was in control, he could get past the bloodlust and directly to what made Bella…Bella. I found that I was insanely jealous of the time my brother got to spend with her and the relationship they had developed in such a short time.

"Gah! Will you please stop?" Jasper screamed clinching his fists. "I don't have those kinds of feelings for her! I love her, I won't deny that, but my life belongs to Alice."

"You left Alice."

"I know! I needed to clear my head and deal with the guilt of nearly killing Bella. She understands that. It wasn't her, it was me." He ran his fingers through is blonde locks. "I will be going home."

Jasper stood up and started walking back to his house while I continued to sit where I was. Just before he reached the sliding glass door, he turned to look at me. His face registered the pain I knew he was feeling about leaving Alice. He shook his head and I almost missed his words as he spoke, "I can't believe I am agreeing to this." He whispered. "Alright. You can go to her when she is sleeping, but that is it, Edward! I will be just outside her door. If she even has a clue of your presence…so help me God…you will be sorry!"

I was so excited, I leapt from the place I was sitting and landed right in front of Jasper and threw my arms around him. "Thank you so much."

Realizing the girly thing I had just done, I quickly backed away from him and put my hands in my pockets. "Sorry, I didn't know what came over me."

"It's alright. I understand. Don't screw this chance up, Edward. She is really fragile, not just physically, but mentally as well. I am in too deep to let her go now," he answered as he opened the door and walked inside.

I followed him inside and was immediately hit with the luscious scent of freesias throughout the entire room. Jasper pointed to the stairwell, "Upstairs, last door on your right…but I guess you already knew that. I will be listening," he warned one last time before I quietly ran up the stairs at more than human speed.

When I reached her door I listened for her quiet breathing before entering. I needed to make sure she was in a deep sleep. I wasn't going to ruin my chances of seeing her again. Her breaths were slow and steady. I knew she was deeply asleep.

I quietly opened the door and stepped inside her room, closing the door gently behind me. I stood still breathing her in.

She moaned and rolled over, her face facing me. The blankets were draped over her waist and her long chestnut hair fanned across her pillow. She shivered and my immediate instinct was to go to her and pull the blankets over her shoulders, but I hesitated, afraid I would wake her up by doing so. She looked so peaceful and a smile crept across her face. I wished I could read her mind to figure out what she was dreaming.

I knelt next to her face and continued to watch her sleep. Another moan escaped her lips and she spoke so clearly I almost thought I had woken her up, "I wish my dreams were always this peaceful," she said quietly and rolled over again.

"Are you really dreaming, Love?" I ask quietly.

"_Watch yourself, Edward," _Jasper responded to my words through his thoughts. _"She better not wake up."_

Her breathing hitched and I gently whispered, "Breathe, my sweet Bella."

Her breathing began again and I gently caressed her cheek and whispered near her ear, "I have missed you so much, my love."

"I've missed you too," she mumbled so quietly I almost missed it.

I hesitated a little before gently touching my lips to hers. The electricity that flowed between us was shocking and it took every ounce of control I had to move my lips from hers. I slowly lifted my head and began to stand up when I heard her mutter words I knew I had heard before, "Please…don't go…I need you."

I gently laid my body next to hers and cradled her in my cold embrace. "I'm not going anywhere…I'll be watching over you," I softly replied.

I watched as she snuggled in closer to my chest and breathed in deeply. I started to panic wondering if she was going to wake up, and I wasn't ready to let her go just yet.

"_Why are you panicking? She is still sleeping deeply. Just be careful." _Jasper's mind said.

I didn't reply to his thought but I did start to calm down. I gently rubbed her back with my cool hands. I was in heaven. She shivered under my touch.

"Are you cold, my love?" I asked softly as I gently pulled the blankets over her shoulders and between our bodies. I instantly missed her warmth, but her comfort was far more important than my need to feel her skin against mine. Hopefully there would be time for that another time.

Her head turned toward my neck and she gently planted kisses on my cool skin. Her lips felt like satin, so soft and very smooth. I was on the verge of loosing control. "Unnggh! Bella, you need to stop." I moan as I move my neck from his luscious lips.

"Why? We've been here before," she mumbles sleepily.

My body instantly stiffens under her touch. _What on earth is she dreaming about?_ I wonder to myself. _What kind of dreams has she been having? Have they been about me?_ I continue to rub gentle circles on her back as she began to speak again.

"Have I…displeased you…mmm prince?"

Displeased her? Prince?

"Never," I said as I took her lips with mine. I couldn't help myself. She was so close and it had been so long since I had been near her. There wasn't any blood lust present, only pure unadulterated passion. My lips chastely kissed hers but soon I found that wasn't enough. I wanted to taste her so I did the one thing I had never done before and prayed that I would be able to keep control, my tongue grazed her bottom lip asking for permission to enter her glorious mouth. She parted her lips and my tongue started dancing with hers. It was unlike any other kiss we had ever shared before. She tasted so sweet and the venom began to pool in my mouth. I continued our passionate kiss and pulled away just as the venom was getting too much for me to handle. I knew that a little wouldn't hurt her but I wasn't ready to test my luck with too much.

She wrapped her legs around mine and pressed her hips into me. I was aroused and I was sure she could feel my hardness between us. I needed to do something to stop her before I lost control and hurt her.

"Please…" she moaned. "…need you."

"Bella," I breathed as I gently pushed her away, "you don't know what you are doing."

She mumbled something incoherent and I decided that I needed to hold her tightly to prevent her from grinding into me more. I did the only thing I knew would calm her instantly…I hummed her lullaby. Her breathing slowed to a more normal pace and I continued humming until I knew she was back into a deep sleep.

"_Are you okay? There are some pretty intense emotions coming out of that room."_

"Shut it!" I whispered softly as to not wake her again. I knew he would hear me.

I laid still for about an hour, and I soaked up the feelings that were coursing through my body. I knew she didn't know I was there, but it meant the world to me to be near her again. I had made a horrible mistake by leaving and I knew I would be beating myself up about it for many years to come. I would do anything to make it up to her. One thing was for certain; I would never leave her again.

She turned to her side facing away from me and her heart rate began to quicken. She was on the verge of waking up and I needed to get out of her room before she did. I kissed her forehead softly and slowly got off of the bed. Before walking out the door, I turned my head to look at her angelic face and whispered, "Until tomorrow evening, Bella."

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**Okay...What did you think? I know this was mainly a filler chapter...but I had to get Edward near her somehow without her "knowing" he was actually there. Please review...can I get 10? I keep getting close to that number each chapter. I would love to break it!**


	18. Chapter 18

_**Disclaimer: Same as always…don't own them…but love to play with them!**_

**A/N: A big thank you to all that have reviewed and added my story to their story alerts.**

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BPOV

The sun shone brightly in my room as I struggled to wake my heavily sleep drugged brain from the best night of sleep in over three years. My eyes were having a hard time adjusting to the brightness of the sun outside. I rolled over and moaned feeling the pain that shot from my ankle up my leg. I stretched my arms over my head and placed my arm on the very cool pillow next to me. I smiled as the memories of my dream the night before flooded my mind. It felt good to smile after a night of sleep, rather than wake up screaming and sweating.

My prince had made an appearance again and although my dream lacked the spice I craved, it was almost like he was right there with me. I could feel him and taste him and I knew I wanted more of this dream. I pressed my face into the cool pillow and breathed in the sweet scent that lingered there. The sweetest smell surrounded me and permeated my sheets and comforter. I was definitely going to have to ask Jasper what kind of fabric softener he used; it was heavenly.

A soft knock on the door startled me from my reverie.

"Bella, can I come in?" Jasper asked timidly.

"Sure," I answered.

Jasper slowly opened the door and greeted me with his warm smile. "How are you feeling? Do you need any more pain medication?" he asked.

"I am afraid that if I take any of those pills, I may be knocked out for a week! I haven't slept that well in ages!" Jasper's face changed so slightly I nearly missed it before he put the warm smile back on. "Jasper, is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is fine. I don't want you to worry about anything. I do need to go to my class today and I am a little leery about leaving you here alone. I just don't see anyway out of it," he answered calming the room as he spoke. He walked over to my bed and sat down running his fingers through his blonde locks.

"I can go with you," I offered. "I have the crutches the doctor gave me, and I could go to my class at the same time."

"Bella," Jasper reasoned while looking at me through his lashes, "do you really think I am going to let you traipse around on crutches? You can hardly handle walking on your own two feet!"

I smacked his stone shoulder with my hand. "That's not nice…true…but not nice. Ouch," I said as I shook my now throbbing hand. "That hurt!"

Jasper chuckled as he took my hand in his. His cooling touch immediately eased the pain. "Silly, Bella," he mused, "when are you going to learn?"

He let go of my hand and started to move from the bed. "Are you ready to go downstairs?" He asked. "I made breakfast."

My stomach growled just as he finished speaking. Immediately I felt my face flush in embarrassment. "I am hungry, but I really should take a shower first….I am just not sure how to accomplish that task." I looked at my heavily bandaged ankle and sighed.

"You might have to settle for a sponge bath for right now. The doctor said the brace had to stay put for a few days at least." He smiled gently while again calming the room.

"My bathroom is larger than this one," he stated pointing toward the door. "You can use it to clean up if you would like. I'll put a chair next to the vanity and you can use the sink to wash up. I know it isn't what you would really like, but for right now it is the best I can offer you."

I nodded my head in agreement. "Thanks, Jasper. I really appreciate all you have done for me. I am sorry to be so much trouble." My eyes drifted down to my ankle once again as I spoke.

Jasper's cool finger gently lifted my chin, forcing me to look into his amber colored eyes. "Bella, you are no trouble at all. I haven't felt this happy in a long time. I feel like my life has a purpose again. I don't mind taking care of you, I welcome it."

I had to admit that having Jasper in my life again felt right. A piece of my heart was back where it belonged and even though there was danger in my future, I knew that he would keep me safe. I knew now that if I could go back and change the past…change the events that led to Edward walking out of my life…there wouldn't be a thing I would change. The painful memories, the tearful nights and even the nightmares had made me a stronger person. If Jasper hadn't tried to kill me, Edward wouldn't have left and I am not so sure I would be as close to Jasper as I was now.

He helped me out of bed and acted as a crutch, holding me up; while I gathered the items I would need to ready myself for the day. I could feel the embarrassment radiate off of my cheeks as I had to grab my undergarments to change into after my sponge bath. Jasper took it all in stride, never leaving my side and throwing some reassuring vibes directly at me. He calmly reminded me that he wasn't as innocent as Edward had been, and that seeing my underwear didn't make him uncomfortable. It was too bad I didn't feel the same way.

Jasper cradled me in his arms as he carried me into his bathroom. To say the room was large was an understatement. His bathroom was the size of a small bedroom. The floor was covered in a plush light brown carpet; the walls were tastefully painted a neutral cream. At the far end of the room was a large Jacuzzi with several candles lining the outer edge of the tub and to the right of the Jacuzzi was a modest shower with clear glass doors. The large vanity had two sinks and next to one of the sinks was an assortment of specially shaped soaps and a plush wine colored wash cloth.

"I hope this is okay," he said softly. "I don't know what you are used to but I thought you might like some of these soaps." He lowered his eyes from mine and said, "I'll leave you alone. Let me know when you are finished and I will come back to get you." He gently set me down on the velvet chair before quietly leaving the room.

It took me a minute or two to take in my surroundings before I could draw the water into the sink to begin to clean my body. The room was beautiful and I felt like I was intruding on something that was extremely private. I had never been to Jasper's end of the house before and like the rest of the home, this room was tastefully decorated. I knew the bedroom was through the door next to the shower by process of elimination, but I dared not enter it. That was a room I didn't belong.

Within ten minutes I had successfully cleansed my body and had dressed in clean clothes. My hair wasn't clean; however I had pulled it up into a messy bun at the top of my head. It would have to do for today. Tomorrow I would have to figure out how to wash my hair without making a mess of things. I folded the washcloth and laid it next to the sink. I felt much better. My stomach growled again signaling my hunger.

"Jasper, I'm done," I said knowing he would hear me. Within a few seconds he was knocking on the door and walking in.

"Feel better?" He asked as he lifted me into his arms.

"Yes, much better. Thank you again." I replied.

"Let's get you fed," he casually said as he carried me down the stairs. "I have to leave in a few minutes. I have taken the liberty of setting out some DVD's I thought you might enjoy. I will only be gone for a couple of hours, but I need you to promise me you won't go outside and under no circumstances are you to open the door for anyone."

"Jasper, I will be fine," I tried to reassure him but I could tell I wasn't succeeding.

"Promise me, Bella, you will stay where I put you and you will do as I ask." His eyes bore into mine and I could feel his emotions radiating off his body. He was worried about leaving me alone.

"I promise," I said meekly as I crossed my heart with my index finger. "I won't step foot out of the house and I'll stay where you put me…what if I have to go to the bathroom?" I joked.

"Not funny," he scolded.

"Okay…okay. Sorry, you are just so serious at times. You need to lighten up."

"I'll lighten up when the danger is gone, okay?" he chastised as he set me down on the couch and swiftly moved into the kitchen to grab my breakfast.

He returned with a hearty plate of eggs - scrambled just the way I liked them - bacon, and two pieces of toast. "What would you like to drink?" he offered setting the plate on the tray in front of me.

"Orange juice?" I questioned, not knowing what he really had in his refrigerator. He came back with a large glass of juice and set it on the coffee table next to where I sat.

"Is there anything else you need before I leave?" He asked tentatively.

"No, I don't think so," I replied. "I'll be fine, Jasper. Go. You'll be late for class."

His cold hand gently ruffled my hair before he quickly walked out the door.

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JPOV

As I left Bella sitting alone on the couch, my mind raced with worry about leaving her there by herself. I immediately pulled out my cell phone to call Carlisle. I wasn't going to take any chances with her life.

"Jasper?" Carlisle's calm voice resonated over the phone. "Is everything okay?"

Getting right to the point, I said, "I need to go to my class and I can't take Bella with me. I assume you know what transpired last evening?"

"Yes. Edward explained what happened. Do you need me to look at her?" He asked.

"No. I need you and Emmett to watch over the house while I am away. I don't want to take any chances and leave her unguarded. Victoria could be waiting for me to leave before showing her face. I just don't feel right leaving her and not protecting her…if I could stay I would," I added as an afterthought.

"We'll watch her. Do you still request no contact?" He asked.

"I don't want her to know Edward is here, at least not while she is awake. Use your judgment, Carlisle, if she needs help, you may help her…I trust you."

"We're on our way, don't worry son, we will take care of her."

"I know," I replied as I hung up the phone relief washing over me.

As I drove along the highway, I let my mind wander back to the events that had happened over the last twenty-four hours. I had missed my family. Carlisle felt no animosity towards me for leaving, all I felt was understanding. Emmett…well, Emmett was Emmett and I couldn't help but smile at reuniting with him. I was looking forward to resuming our playful bantering over video games and what ever else we could get our hands on. As far as Edward was concerned, that was a work in progress. I knew that his feelings for Bella were clouding his reasoning about the situation we found ourselves in and I knew that forbidding him from seeing her wasn't making him feel any better.

My first priority was protecting Bella. I wasn't only keeping her safe from Victoria and Irina, but also from her past and the hurtful feelings that I knew were bubbling on the surface of her psyche. These feelings were responsible for the terrible nightmares she had been having. There weren't very many nights since being reunited with Bella that she hadn't had a nightmare. She had told me that they weren't as terrifying as they had been since I had returned to her life, and I shuddered to think what they were like right after we had left her.

After watching Edward stalk my house from the yard, hoping to catch just a glimpse of Bella through the window, I couldn't help but give in and let him be near her. He was pitiful and if he could watch her sleep those times we lived in Forks without her knowing I knew he could do it again. What I wasn't prepared for was the feelings that their "reunion" would elicit from me, even though the reunion was only one sided.

I never left the hallway last night. I listened as he talked to her while she dreamed, waiting for him to screw up, so I could be there to pick up the pieces. It never happened. He was true to his word. She never knew he was there.

What was I feeling? Jealousy? Where was this emotion coming from? Who was I jealous of? I knew who held my heart…Alice…I loved her with all my soul…did I love Bella too? Is this why I had fought so hard to keep Edward away? I had to admit that maybe in some small way Bella had worked her way into my heart. She accepted me and brought a new light to my life that I had never known could exist. I needed to find a way to put the emotions I felt toward her in the proper perspective.

I now understood the pull that Bella had on my family. She was the missing piece of the puzzle that we had thought was complete for so long. When she came into our lives, she just fit. Alice loved her like a sister, Esme and Carlisle thought of her as their own, Emmett adored her as any big brother would, Rosalie…well, she wouldn't allow herself to get to know her, Edward had found his soul mate, and I didn't have the control to allow myself to even be near her for long periods of time. I didn't have the chance to get to know her the way I do now. When I did get comfortable around her, I nearly killed her.

Now that my control was stronger, I could allow myself to get close to her. Her emotions were genuine and real. She was a breath of fresh air to my long existence. I never thought I would ever be this close to a human being or even want to be for that matter.

She still loved Edward, of that I was certain; I felt the love come off her in waves whenever she spoke of him. I knew she cared about me; however the love she felt towards me was that of a sister towards her brother or a friend towards another friend, nothing more. She was grateful for all that I had done for her, she had told me so earlier today. She felt like she was a burden to me but that was the farthest thing from the truth. It was easy taking care of her.

I had been so lost in my thinking that I didn't realize that I had already arrived at SPU. I quickly found a parking spot and looked at the clock on my dash…twenty minutes early. I leaned back in my seat and sighed. As long as my family was watching her I knew that she was safe. There was no way that Carlisle, Emmett, or Edward would allow anything to happen to her while I was gone.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep my family from seeing her for long. Carlisle and Emmett were both anxious to spend time with her. I could feel it when I had seen them yesterday. Edward was content, for right now, on spending time with her as she slept.

I laughed to myself as I got out of my car and started walking toward the building ahead of me. I didn't need Alice's gift to know that Bella was in for a big surprise while I was gone. I knew I had left that door wide open when I told Carlisle to use his judgment on contacting Bella today. There was no way Emmett was going to pass on an opportunity to see his little sister again.

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BPOV

I sat on the couch mindlessly flipping through the channels on the big screen in front of me. Jasper had only been gone ten minutes and I was already bored. How was I going to survive two hours alone?

I knew I should be afraid of being by myself today, but I wasn't. I was aware of the fact that the fear meter in my brain had serious malfunctioned several years ago. I found that I wasn't afraid when I should have been and visa versa. Victoria was out there waiting for just the right opportunity to pounce. This would be the perfect time to do it. I should be afraid.

I looked out the window and let my mind wander back to the dream I had last night. It was rare that I slept so soundly and still remembered my dreams. The dream last night had seemed so real. My prince had come to visit me again.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I barely registered the slight movement out in the trees. Something was out there, and for once my heart picked up and registered the fear that radiated through my body. Someone was watching me and this time it I wasn't dreaming.

I continued to scan the tree line surrounding the house wishing I had been able to convince Jasper to let me go with him. I was stuck. I couldn't move. Not only did my ankle injury keep me on the couch but the fear I was feeling paralyzed me as well.

As the fear threatened to take over, I saw a figure move quickly toward the front door. This was it. I was ready to die. I'm sorry, Jasper. I thought to myself as I heard someone fumbling with the doorknob.

As I prepared to scream, the door burst open, nearly coming off of its hinges.

"Honey, I'm home!" A loud voice boomed.

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	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Do I have to spell it out? Still don't own them. Thanks Stephenie for creating them.**

**A/N: If you haven't checked out my new story, "Another One's Arms", please do so. I have to admit that I am quite proud of it. It is based on Chapter 13 of this story and what could have happened if Jasper couldn't control the emotions in the room.**

**I need to apologize for taking so long to update this story. Damn writer's block got me again. I hope I don't run into any more problems.**

**Thank you to those that faithfully review…your words mean a lot to me. To those that don't but read my story…thank you. I would like to challenge you to leave a little note telling me what you think.**

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_Previously:_

_"Honey, I'm home!" a loud voiced boomed._

BPOV

"AHHH!" I screamed as I looked toward the big brawny man standing in the doorway. "Emmett?"

"The one and only," he replied as he moved to the couch, picked me up and gave me a huge hug.

"Can't…breathe…Emmett!" I croaked.

"Oh, ya…right. I've missed you," he said as he gently put me back on the couch.

"I've missed you too, but you scared the shit out of me!" I cried smacking his arm. My heart was still beating crazily and I struggled to slow it down.

"I know! You should've seen your face…priceless," he laughed.

I looked toward the mangle door and back at him. It was as if I was waiting for someone else to come through at any minute. Was he here too? I wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to keep the hole from breaking open. My actions didn't escape Emmett's keen eyes and his face turned serious.

"Jasper isn't going to be happy about his door, Emmett," I stated trying to take my mind off of what was really bothering me.

"He'll never know," he replied. "I'll have it fixed before he gets home."

He continued to watch me and we sat in silence for a short while before he got up. "I know he's got to have some tools around here somewhere," he said to himself as he started opening drawers in the kitchen.

"Emmett? Why are you looking in the kitchen for tools?" I asked.

His head peered around the corner and looked at me as if I had asked a stupid question. "Have you ever heard of a junk drawer, Bella? Everyone has one in their kitchen. It is the perfect place to keep a few tools."

"Somehow I don't picture Jasper having a junk drawer. Why don't you look in the garage?"

He moved quickly out the door and was back before I could register that he was gone. I watched in awe as he moved at vampire speed to fix the door. In less than five minutes the door looked almost as it had before, the only difference in it was the few dents the covered the face.

Emmett stood back and admired his handy work. "Not bad if I do say so myself."

I chuckled and shook my head. "I really have missed you, Emmett."

I watched as he slowly moved next to me. It felt so good to see him again. The tears began to fall before I had a chance to stop them.

"Hey…please don't cry. I'm here now. Come on, I can't stand to see girls cry," he soothed as he picked me up and cradled me in his arms. I laid my head on his large shoulder and let the tears soak his shirt.

"I'm sorry," I sniffed, "I just can't believe you're here."

"Well, I am!" he exclaimed, squeezing me gently, "in the flesh."

He looked down at my ankle and shook his head. "I see you haven't outgrown being clumsy, huh?"

"No," I sighed following his eyes. "It doesn't hurt too badly. Jasper won't let me move on my own anymore. He insists on carrying me everywhere."

"I can just picture you trying to maneuver yourself on crutches…hey…that gives me an idea." His eyes lit up and a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Do you have any?"

"Crutches?"

"Ya…" I watched as his grin got bigger by the minute.

"Yes," I answered, my brow furrowed, "although I don't know where Jasper put them."

He pushed me off his lap before he jumped off the couch and started scrambling around the house looking for my missing crutches. I had no idea what he had in store for me, but something told me it wasn't going to be such a great idea.

"Where the hell did he put them?" he hollered from a room upstairs. "YES! Jackpot! Can't hide anything from me," he said as he sauntered down the stairs with pride.

"And what prey tell are we going to be doing with those?" I asked.

"I, dear little sis, am going to teach you how to walk…with these," he replied as he held up the crutches.

Remembering what Jasper had said earlier about not being able to walk on my own feet, I shook my head vehemently. "Oh no…I am not going to walk with those! I can barely walk on my own two feet."

"Do you want to have your ass on the couch all the time, or do you want to be able to do things on your own without help? I'd always pegged you as being an independent kinda girl. Has that changed?" he questioned me while raising his eyebrows.

"No," I answered quietly, "but Jasper said…"

"I don't give a rip what Jasper said," he interrupted, "if you would rather sit here all day being bored, I guess there is no reason for me to stick around." He put the crutches on the floor next to my feet, and began to walk toward the door.

"WAIT!" I screamed at him. He stopped but didn't turn around. "Do you promise you won't let me fall?"

"I'll take care of you…I won't let you fall." He turned around and looked me in the eye. "You do trust me, right?"

"Of course…" I replied, and then added, "With my life."

Emmett spent the next half an hour _trying_ to teach me how to walk with crutches. True to his word, he never let me fall; however he did spend most of his time preventing that from happening. If I thought I was clumsy with my own two feet, add a couple of sticks with rubber on the ends, and I was down right dangerous.

Exhausted, I finally convinced him that it was a lost cause and sat on the couch once again. "Did you really think teaching me to walk with crutches was going to be fun?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

"Well…I initially thought I would be able to teach you and then watch you and get a laugh or two out of it. I guess I thought wrong, huh?"

"I guess so. Sorry to ruin your fun," I said, poking him in the side.

"Just seeing you again has made my day, Bella," he said smiling. "You have no idea how dull life has been with out you in it."

"It couldn't have been too dull," I retorted, "Jasper did say you were getting married…again…I am sure planning another wedding has got to be loads of fun."

"Ya…well…I'd do anything to keep Rose happy." He paused and suddenly his face changed. "Living has been difficult for all of us."

I didn't say anything…I wasn't quite sure what he meant by his last statement… "Go on…" I urged.

"When we left, we thought…Edward thought that it was the right thing to do. We'd always listened to him in the past. He'd never steered us wrong before. I want you to know that I tried to convince him he was doing the wrong thing. You guys have a connection that is very strong, I knew that by leaving it could potentially destroy you, but talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. He's so damn stubborn."

"Emmett, I have never blamed you, or any of the others for Edward's decision, but I would be lying if I said that your family's acceptance of his decision didn't hurt. You left without even saying goodbye." I wrapped my arms around my middle to hold myself together and a tear fell from my eye once again.

He scooped me up and stroked my hair. "I want you to know how sorry I am that I ever hurt you."

"I know," I whispered.

Emmett's cell phone buzzed in his pocket interrupting our conversation. He gently pushed me off his lap and looked at the caller id. "Jasper," he said answering the question in my eyes.

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. Part of me was thankful that it was Jasper on the phone; however the other part was hoping that it was someone else.

"What up, bro," he answered nonchalantly and quickly went outside.

I strained to hear any part of the conversation, but the words were coming out of Emmett's mouth so fast I could only register the words; fine, no pain, and fall. My ankle began to throb and it took my mind off of trying to eavesdrop into Jasper and Emmett's conversation. I sighed and leaned my head against the back of the couch, willing the pain to go away.

"You're in pain," Emmett stated matter of factly. I hadn't heard him come back into the room and his voice startled me.

"Shit! I wish you would quit doing that," I scolded, "are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

He chuckled, and then his face turned serious again.

"Don't you have anything you can take for the pain?" he asked.

"Yes, but I'm not taking them," I answered sticking my chin out stubbornly. "They make me all loopy and tired."

"Boy, I bet that is fun to watch…please, Bella?" he begged, "I would love to see you all drugged up."

"NO! You are not going to have fun at the expense of the human girl," I groaned.

"Maybe someone should look at that," he said as a light knock was heard at the door. "Hum…I wonder who that could be."

My heart felt like it had leapt from my chest at the sound of the rapping. I didn't know if it was from nerves because of who that could be on the other side of the door, or from the fear of finding out whom it actually was. I watched as Emmett moved from the couch and slowly walked across the living room floor. I was tempted to tell him not to answer it but my curiosity got the best of me. I _wanted_ to know who was on the other side.

He peered out the peephole and smiled, "Well, well, well," he said just before opening the door, "the doctor has arrived."

Carlisle walked in with his medical bag in hand and a smile across his face. "Hello, Bella. It's nice to see you again." He set his bag down and slowly moved to where I was sitting. I opened my arms wide inviting him in for a much needed hug. Tears stung my eyes once again as Carlisle bent down and gently embraced me.

"It's been too long," I cried squeezing him. "It's nice to see you too."

"I thought I would take a look at that ankle of yours if it is okay with you," he commented as he looked at my ankle. "Are you in any pain?"

"Not really," I lied.

Carlisle looked at me. "Bella, there is no need to be brave around me. I can see that you are hurting. The pain is written all over your face. Now how bad is it?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10?" I was stalling and the look on Carlisle's face changed.

"Yes, 1 being no pain…10 being extremely painful," he answered.

"7," I answered honestly.

"That bad, huh?" Carlisle continued to examine my ankle. His cool hands felt good on the sore spots. When he was finished he rewrapped it loosely and patted me on the leg.

"You will need to stay off it for a while," he instructed. "It looks pretty swollen right now, what have you been doing this morning?"

I heard a distinctive cough behind me, but I knew that I couldn't get away with lying to Carlisle. "Emmett was trying to teach me how to walk on crutches." I hung my head knowing that I should have stayed off of it. The swelling was pretty bad.

I watched as Carlisle gave Emmett a stern look of disapproval.

"What?" Emmett exclaimed. "She can't just sit on the couch all day."

"She can, and she will," he commented looking directly at me. "Stay off of it, Bella."

"Sorry," I whispered quietly. "What time did Jasper say he'd be home," I asked hoping to get the topic off of my ankle.

"He said he was going to be a couple more hours. He had some things to do in town before coming home." Emmett said and then looked at Carlisle and whispered something else so low I couldn't hear.

Carlisle grabbed a DVD off of the end table beside him. "Why don't we watch a movie?"

There were so many questions swimming around in my head that I had a hard time watching the movie that Carlisle had picked out. I sat next to Emmett who lazily put his arm over my shoulder and drew tiny circles in my arm. I kept looking between the two wondering when I was going to wake up from another dream. I was the happiest I had been in a long time. Only one thing could make me happier and I wasn't so sure if that was going to happen or not.

Soon the movie ended and I felt Emmett tap me on the shoulder. "Hey sleepy head," he cooed, "time to wake up."

I slowly opened my eyes and stretched my arms over my head. "How long was I out?" I asked sleepily.

"An hour or a little more," Carlisle answered. "Jasper should be home pretty soon."

I shuddered, suddenly feeling chilled sitting next to Emmett. Pain shot up my leg causing me to gasp. Unfortunately my reaction didn't go unnoticed by the vampires in the room. Carlisle moved instantly to my side and freed my ankle from the heavy bandage.

"How would you rate the pain now?" he asked as he gently pressed on the sore spot.

I gasped again and managed to croak out, "8 or 9."

He shook his head. "Just as I thought; Emmett, go into the kitchen and see what you can find in the cupboards for Bella to eat. She needs to have food in her stomach before I give her the pain medication."

"I don't want the pain medication, Carlisle, they make me loopy."

"Don't argue with me, doctor's orders," he answered back curtly.

A few minutes later, Emmett came out of the kitchen with an apple and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I quickly ate my meal while Carlisle looked on. When I was finished Emmett took the plate from me while Carlisle handed me the pills and a glass of water. I sighed as I realized that I wasn't going to get away with not taking them.

"Let the show begin!" Emmett boomed as I took the pills.

It didn't take long for the medication to take affect and soon I felt my eyelids droop. As I struggled to keep my eyes open, I heard Carlisle and Emmett talking in the background.

"Where is he?" Carlisle asked quietly.

"He said he wanted to go by Bella's apartment and check on things." Emmett answered.

"I can't believe Irina would stoop this low for revenge."

My mind was in a heavy fog from the medicine and I began to wonder if maybe Carlisle hadn't given me a little too much. I tried to move my head but it was too heavy. "Carlisle?" I slurred. I tried to move my arms but they wouldn't respond. The pain in my ankle had disappeared but my legs also felt like lead weights.

"Rest Bella," Carlisle soothed as I felt his cool hand brush my forehead.

"Man…look at her! She's really out of it!"

"'S'not funny," I slurred again.

"Take her upstairs," I heard Carlisle say. "I'll go let him know she's asleep."

_What? _My mind tried to process his words but I couldn't make sense of anything with the drugs coursing through my system. I felt Emmett pick me up and start to walk up the stairs. My head rested on his cool shoulder and I sighed.

"I really missed you guys," I said as I allowed the blackness overtake me.

EPOV

I watched from a distance as my father and brother announced their presence to my Bella. Jealousy coursed through my dead body as I silently wished it were me sitting on the couch comforting Bella as the pain of her injury overtook her.

Earlier in the day, Emmett and Carlisle had approached me as I crouched next to a tree. I could see Bella perfectly from where I sat and I longed to go to her.

_Be patient, my son, _Carlisle thought. I felt a hand gently squeeze my shoulder. I sighed and nodded my head slightly letting him know that I heard him.

Patience had never been one of my strongest traits and right now Jasper was pushing me to my limit. I was thankful for the time I had with her last night, however I wanted desperately to be able to talk to her face to face. I needed to explain my actions and tell her how sorry I was for leaving her the way I did. I was anxious to get on with our life together, to put the past behind us and move on.

I watched as Emmett attempted to teach Bella how to walk in crutches and cringed every time I saw her nearly fall. I growled low enough to warn him that he wasn't playing it safe with her after about a half an hour of his lesson. He took the hint and reluctantly agreed to stop when she collapsed into the couch.

I patrolled the property trying to keep my mind busy. I was getting restless and needed something to occupy my time. Listening to Emmett talk to Bella about how my decision to leave had hurt the family was too much for me to listen to. The guilt I felt about my decision all but consumed my every thought. I had hurt not just Bella but everyone around me as well.

Later I watched as my father made his entrance into Jasper's house, medical bag in hand. Bella fought to hold back the tears at seeing him again. Carlisle approached her and held her in his arms. His thought didn't pass by my mind, _she's so thin._

My cell phone buzzed in my pocket. "Jasper," I answered.

"Where are you?" He asked with tension in his tone.

"I'm not in the house if that's what you are wondering," I said with venom in my tone. I was growing more impatient by the minute. I needed to be with Bella.

"Listen," he began, "I went by Bella's apartment and Victoria has been there, however she wasn't alone. Irina was with her and one other vampire that I don't think we have ever come across before. Irina has moved out of the house across the street but I am not sure where they are headed. I have an uneasy feeling about the situation."

"Do you think they know where you live?" I growled.

"I'm not sure. I'm always very careful not to put my information out there." Jasper's tone was strained. I could tell that he was more than slightly worried.

My phone beeped signaling another call trying to come through. "Jasper, I need to go. Alice is on the other line. She may have seen something." I didn't wait for him to answer before hanging up and answering the other line. "Alice?"

"They know where he lives," she hissed. "Where's Jasper?"

"He's on his way back from Seattle," I answered. "Do you have a timeline of when they might come here?"

"I keep getting only glimpses of things--it's so frustrating. I feel like I am blind. Please, Edward," she pleaded, "don't let anything happen to him."

"I won't. I'll bring him home to you, okay? I don't want you to worry." I ran my fingers through my hair hoping I wasn't making a promise I couldn't keep.

"Have you seen Bella?" she asked.

"I've seen her but only from a distance. Jasper will only allow me near her when she's sleeping. I've made such a mess of things, Alice," I groaned.

"Don't worry, Edward, it'll all work out," she assured me.

We said our goodbyes and I walked near the house hoping to get Carlisle's attention. He was busy assessing Bella's ankle. I watched as her face contorted in pain.

"She's hurting more than she's letting on…Jasper's on his way." I whispered to him softly. His eyes moved up and down signaling that he had heard me.

"He said they're not alone. There's one other vampire with them." His eyes moved again so I continued, "Alice called as well and said that Victoria knows where we are…it won't be long now."

_I'm going to give her a pretty heavy sedative that should knock her out for a few hours_, he thought. _I'll have Emmett take her up to her room and you can join her there in a few minutes._

I smiled.

"I'm going to check around the property to see if I can find anything…come get me when she's asleep," I said as I bolted toward the trees.

I didn't have to wait long before I heard the sound of Carlisle's steady feet running toward me.

"That didn't take long, are you sure you didn't give her too much?" I questioned.

He looked at me incredulously and didn't answer. _Go to her, I'll keep watch out here. _

Just before I reached the house an unfamiliar scent hit me. I swung my head around and spotted a red eyed frantic vampire. I instantly crouched down defensively. I didn't recognize him. His thoughts were rapid--going on about thirst and needing to feed--his nose was in the air sniffing out Bella's scent which lingered lightly in the cool breeze.

"Carlisle!" I whispered knowing he would hear me.

The stranger heard me also and immediately darted off into the forest, eyes wide with fear.

As Carlisle approached me, I let him know the news that would put us all on alert.

"They're here."

* * *

**A/N: Don't hate me streadaway! I had to find a good place to stop; I know the cliffies are killing you…;)**

**To the rest of you wonderful readers…please remember to review! I love hearing from all of you. I am sorry if I didn't reply to you all…my goal for reviews…can I get to 120 total? Please?**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I am NOT going to spell it out again! We all know we don't own them! THANKS STEPHENIE! Thank you so much for creating them!**

**A/N: This has been one stressful week for me! I am so glad that I have such wonderful readers to read my story! By the end of the last chapter…I had ALMOST hit 120 reviews! (I was 3 away…GAH!) Can I hit 150 reviews with this chapter?...PLEASE?**

_Previously:_

"_They're here," I said under my breath just as Carlisle reached me._

* * *

EPOV

"What do you mean they're here," Carlisle whispered as he approached me cautiously. I was still in a crouch and my mind was moving a mile a minute. _Keep Bella safe, keep Bella safe._ The mantra played in my head over and over. I needed to get to her.

I stood up and turned to look at my father. "I mean they're here…as in Victoria and Irina and…," I paused trying to get my thoughts in order. _God! What's wrong with me?_ "There's another vampire, Carlisle…," I began, "he was just here. He's a newborn and he caught Bella's scent. When I spoke, he ran. We don't have much time!" I was yelling at him, begging him to understand the urgency of the situation.

"Calm down, Edward," he soothed, "Bella is safe. Emmett is with her and Jasper will be here soon."

"Who the hell is the other vampire?" I exclaimed. I was torn. My body needed to be near Bella to make sure she was safe, my mind wanted to try…and I knew I would only be trying…to catch the scent of the other vampire that had graced Jasper's property.

"Let's get back to the house and start planning for their arrival," Carlisle said as he began to move toward the house.

I followed close behind him and quickly became lost in my thoughts. Victoria had recruited some help. Did she realize that Jasper wouldn't be alone? What was Irina's role in this? Should we get Tanya, Kate and the rest of the Denali clan involved?

We reached the sliding glass door just as Jasper was pulling into the driveway. Emmett was sitting on the couch playing a video game, oblivious to what was going on around him. Bella's scent was all over the room and I immediately had the urge to be with her but quickly suppressed it realizing that there were other more pressing issues at hand. My face to face reunion with her would have to wait a while longer.

"What did Alice say, Edward?" Jasper said as he entered his house. Electricity could be felt all over the house and Jasper was sending out some not so calm vibes. _Is she okay?_ He thought.

"She's fine, Jasper," I answered his thought. "She was calling to tell me that Victoria knew where you lived. Just before Carlisle and I came in, I saw a vampire…a newborn…that was staking out the house. His thoughts were all over the place. He had picked up on Bella's scent. I think he may be with Victoria. I've never seen him before."

Emmett stopped playing the video game immediately. "A NEWBORN?" he screamed.

"Damn it, Emmett," I whispered harshly, "she's right upstairs. Try not to wake her!"

"Shit, Edward, she's so drugged up. She will be out for a while," he replied. "Are you sure he's with Victoria?"

"No," I answered, "I can't be sure. I couldn't make sense of his thoughts. They were all over the place."

Leave it to Carlisle to keep us focused. "Let's sit down and figure out what we need to do."

All three of us followed our father into the dining room and sat around the table. Emmett's leg was bouncing up and down from the excitement of the situation and his thoughts were of wanting to kick some vampire ass. Jasper's mind was busy strategizing to try to figure out the best way to handle the situation without anyone getting hurt.

"I am ready to go kick some ass!" Emmett roared.

"Shhh!...Bella!" I whispered. "We need to come up with some kind of plan and make sure she stays safe in the process."

"If we are going to do that, we are going to have to immobilize the newborn first. I am familiar with how unpredictable they are. I'll take on the newborn," Jasper said.

"I'll handle Irina," Carlisle interceded. "I am hoping that I will be able to appeal to her more reasonable side. I am still finding it hard to believe that she would work with Victoria."

"That leaves Victoria for me and Eddie!" Emmett proclaimed.

I hissed at him. I hated that nickname and he knew it. "That also leaves Bella unprotected. We all know how she has a way of getting away from us; I am not going to take that risk with Bella's life."

"Fine," Emmett said, "I'll take her by myself and you can be with Bella. I am sure I can handle her on my own."

Emmett's thoughts portrayed exactly what he was feeling…invincible.

"I want her," I said surprising myself by voicing my thoughts. "If I could have found her when I was tracking her before, Bella wouldn't be in this mess."

_True, but you also wouldn't be here within a few yards of her right now either._ Emmett voiced in his mind.

"She would be safe," I snarled at him.

"When are you going to quit being a pompous ass and realize that all Bella ever wanted was to be with you? All she ever wanted was to be one of us?" Emmett growled at me.

"I am not going to damn her to this life!" I screamed back at him.

"So what are you going to do when this is all over, Edward, leave her again? Do you realize what that would do to her?" Jasper interceded.

I knew I would never be able to leave Bella again. I couldn't go back to being the empty shell that I had been for three years. The only thing that made me feel complete was Bella. She was my life. I had been stupid to think that I would be able to live without her. It was only a matter of time before I would have given in and looked for her. The pull she had on me was like none I had ever felt before. No other person had ever held my attention the way she did. I wouldn't be alone…I couldn't be alone…not anymore.

"I'm not leaving her again," I whispered.

_I'm glad you finally came to your senses._ Jasper thought.

We spent the next half an hour going over strategy and I had to admit I didn't feel any better about Bella's safety then I had before we began. In order to ensure her safety, one of us would have to stay with her. Then, of course, there was Alice's vision that was constant in my mind. I needed to ensure his safety as well.

_Go to her, Edward._ Jasper's thoughts invaded my reverie.

"I'll be on alert," I said. "Let me know if you see or hear anything."

I quickly made my way to Bella's room and quietly went inside. Her scent hit me like a wrecking ball and the fire burned in the back of my throat. I willed the monster away and slowly moved over to her bed. She looked like an angel. She was lying on her side, her hair fanned out over her pillow. Her breaths were slow and even. Her small hands rested just under her cheek and I saw a small smile creep across her face. She took my breath away.

She moaned in her sleep and rolled over. My willpower was fading and I needed to be near her. I climbed on the bed and lay down next to her. Her sweet breath blew across my face and I longed to pull her tightly into my arms. She wrinkled her nose and took a deep breath. "Edward," she whispered.

With that one word I was gone.

I knew she was still asleep, Carlisle had informed me that she would be out for at least a few hours, so I let my guard down and carefully pulled her into my embrace. Her body tensed, and I feared that she had begun to wake up, however before long her body molded perfectly into mine and soon she relaxed, her breathing returning to its normal rate.

As I held her, my mind drifted back to that horrid day three years ago, when I said goodbye to the love of my existence. My mind could not erase the look of despair that had fallen on her face when I blatantly lied to her and said that I didn't want her anymore. I could not forget the feeling I felt as I quickly walked away from her and heard her follow me deeper into the forest. I didn't turn around; I didn't wait to see if she had been found…I just ran. I was a fool.

Outside her window, I heard a twig snap and without waking Bella, I got off the bed and ran to the balcony. I peered outside and saw something moving quickly in the trees…the mystery vamp. Without another thought, I jumped from the balcony and ran after the vampire. I knew that his newborn speed would rival mine; I only hoped I could catch him to find out what he was doing here.

As I ran, I heard footsteps following behind me, and it wasn't long before I heard Jasper's thoughts. _Edward, get back to the house. Think of Bella, this could be a trap…I'll get the newborn!_

I ran back to Jasper's to find Emmett and Carlisle out in the front yard. Victoria was scanning the area, looking for an escape, while Irina looked terrified of the person she didn't expect to see in front of her…Carlisle.

"Irina," Carlisle said as he moved closer to her. "I need to understand your role in this."

"It was a mistake," she began to sob. "My mind was clouded by hatred toward those dogs Bella called her friends. They killed Laurent! I wasn't thinking...I just wanted to hurt them as much as they had hurt me. Laurent and I were...close."

Carlisle slowly approached Irina and embraced her. "I'm sorry for your loss, Irina." Carlisle stroked her hair as she broke down in his arms.

Victoria's thoughts were all over the place. They drifted from James to a person named Riley and then back to James again. The minute she laid eyes on me her thoughts ceased.

"YOU!" she screamed at me. "You killed James!"

"Actually, sweetheart, it was Jasper, Alice and I," Emmett corrected. "Your beef is with us…not Edward."

"James wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for your human pet," she screeched pointing her finger at me. Her voice wasn't melodic like other vampires. It was almost like a screeching squeal every time she spoke. It hurt my ears.

"Emmett, she blames me. It doesn't matter that you were the ones that destroyed him." I looked directly at Victoria as I spoke. "You blame me because I challenged him, correct?"

"What's with the psychoanalysis?" she screamed. "Your little pet challenged him! After he met her, it was all he could think of. She's the reason he's dead. How would you feel, dear Edward, if your sweet Bella was dead?"

"YOU WILL NOT TOUCH HER!" I said harshly.

Victoria laughed sinisterly and glared at me. "Mate for mate, my dear…mate for mate!"

Victoria's eyes suddenly drifted to the tree line where Jasper emerged with a very scared newborn in tow. Her thoughts were rapid again as she thought about Riley and switched very quickly to James. It was apparent to me that Victoria had lost her mind. Riley was just a boy, probably my age or little younger, with blonde hair and red eyes. He was tall, but not quite as tall as Jasper. His eyes flitted back and forth between Victoria and me. His thoughts moved as quickly as his eyes, never landing on one thing in particular.

"Riley," I called to the newborn. His eyes immediately fixed on me. _I'm so thirsty…make it go away… What is happening to me? Scared! Oh God! I'm so scared! Please don't hurt me…_ I smiled as I read his thoughts.

Riley looked at Victoria and then back at me. "We won't hurt you, if you do exactly as I say." I said as his head snapped back to look at me. He hadn't spoken out loud.

"You idiot," Victoria spat. "I told you he could read minds." She pointed at me as she spoke to Riley.

His thoughts varied again. I could tell he didn't know where his loyalties were.

_He is very unstable, _Jasper thought._ He's experiencing fear, an insatiable hunger, and lust at the same time. It's maddening._

I nodded my head slightly acknowledging that I had heard his thoughts. I knew this was difficult for Jasper. Even with the control he had gained over the years, dealing with a newborn's thirst had to affect him in a not so positive way.

The wind shifted blowing Bella's light scent over the already tense group of vampires. Riley immediately roared and it took all the strength Jasper had to keep him still. "Riley," I said in a calming voice. "I know you are thirsty, but if you don't stop, Jasper here is going to begin ripping you apart."

"Don't listen to him, sweetheart," Victoria crooned in her piercing high voice. "Remember what I told you? Her blood is sweeter than anything you have ever experienced before. Do you smell her, Riley? You can have her. We can share." A sinister smile spread across her face as she turned and looked at me.

I crouched down ready to pounce and a growl erupted from deep within my chest. Victoria continued to stare at me with a smile. "Mate for mate…"

I was concentrating so much on Victoria; I didn't see that Riley had successfully escaped from Jasper's grasp. He took off in a sprint toward the house. Bella's scent was everywhere. It wouldn't be difficult for him to find her.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion right at that moment. Emmett was close enough to Victoria to get one of his giant hands on her and I heard a squeal just before he ripped her arm off of her torso. It slowed her down but didn't stop her. Jasper ran to try to cut her off, but she eluded him.

"Go get Riley!" I screamed at Jasper. I hoped by sending Jasper to find Riley, I would be able to keep him from fighting Victoria. Alice's vision could not come true if he wasn't here. He took off in a sprint following Riley's scent.

Carlisle still held Irina in his arms while she sobbed uncontrollably. _I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, _she repeated in her head over and over. _What have I done?_

Victoria crouched low and hissed at me. "Finally…"

She moved around gracefully trying to find a way to lunge at me; however my gift enabled me to know where she was going before she actually moved. I watched as she grew more frustrated by the second. Emmett prevented her from moving in one direction, while I worked with him and stopped her from moving in the other. It was quite a dance we were dancing. No one made a move to attack.

Victoria's thoughts drifted from trying to decide what move she was going to make to get by me to wondering if Riley had reached Bella. I could tell by her thoughts that she had strictly instructed him to bring Bella to her. I knew her plan wasn't a good one. There was no way a young newborn like Riley would be able to resist Bella's scent to bring her to Victoria.

"That won't work, Victoria," I said addressing her thoughts. "He's a newborn. He will drain her dry before she ever gets to you."

"Both ways she'll be gone and my James will be avenged!" she seethed at me making another move to get by me to no avail.

Emmett slowly crept up behind her as we continued our dance. Carlisle had let go of Irina and was prepared to help in any way he needed to. With Irina under control, still sobbing in her hands, we had the advantage over Victoria.

Just as Emmett made a move to grab Victoria from behind with Carlisle flanking his left side, I heard Jasper scream in my head, _Edward!_ I froze in my spot and looked at the house. My momentary distraction was enough for Victoria to lunge at me, catching me off guard. She pinned me to the ground, and a large snarl was heard from behind her as her sharp teeth came dangerously close to my neck.

"Say goodnight, Edward," she threatened.

"I think you are the one that should say goodnight, my dear!" I countered as Emmett swiftly moved over to where I laid and grabbed her by the neck. Just as his hands gripped her neck, I bent my knees putting my feet in contact with her mid-section and in one quick movement I pushed her off me. I heard a snap and scream so deafening my ears were ringing from the sound of it. I looked at Emmett and in his hands was Victoria's head.

"Take that, Bitch!" he said as he threw her dismembered head into the pile of Victoria's body parts that Carlisle had begun to create.

_God Damn it, Edward!_ Jasper's thoughts interrupted again. _I need your help!_

With the heavy purple smoke billowing in the air, I quickly ran inside the house and up the stairs to Bella's room. Jasper had a tight hold on Riley as he snarled and bit at him, trying desperately to get to my angel who was still in her heavy drug induced sleep.

_I can't hold him much longer, Edward. I need to get away from him; his thirst is affecting me too strongly. I do not want to risk hurting Bella!_

I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Irina approaching. I growled at her as she made her way cautiously up the stairs.

_I came to help,_ she explained, _it's the least I can do after the mess that I have made. Please, Edward, let me help._ Her eyes searched mine and I reluctantly nodded my head. The only thing I wanted to do was get Bella as far away from this place as possible. I couldn't do that and help Jasper at the same time.

Irina walked up next to Jasper and with her help they were able to drag Riley out of the room. "Riley, get a grip…," I heard her say as they pushed an out of control Riley out the front door.

A breath I didn't know I was holding was released from my lungs as I turned to look at Bella sleeping peacefully on her bed. I smiled knowing that she would forever be safe from Victoria. The only threat to her well being was standing in the room with her. I couldn't tear my eyes from her sleeping form and I knew that my heart would not be able to stand being away from her for any length of time. I needed to make Bella mine…if she would have me. I needed to heal the wounds I had caused to her heart. The danger that my family and I posed to her life was secondary to what happened to my family when I left her. I was stupid to think that her human mind would be okay, and that my family would be able to move on. From the moment they laid eyes on her, they had fallen in love with her. She was a very important part to the family and by leaving I had purposely destroyed a very important piece to our family unit.

Bella rolled to her back and stretched her arms over her head. My breath caught as I realized she was beginning to wake up. My feet were rooted to the floor and I couldn't move. Her eyes fluttered open and she squinted as she tried to shake her sleepy brain awake. "Damn drugs!" she muttered.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. The venom was pulsing through my body like adrenaline and if I had a heart it would have leapt out of my chest the moment she started to wake up. I was a nervous wreck and at that moment time stood still for me as I waited for her to discover my presence in the room.

Her head turned and her eyes locked with mine. I was lost in her chocolate brown eyes. She was far more beautiful than I had been remembering. I stood silently for a moment as I read the expression of shock that soon registered on her face. I took a few steps, moving toward her slowly. "Bella…," I whispered as I finally let the breath out that I had been holding in. As I reached the bed, I reached out my hand to push a stray strand of hair away from her beautiful heart shaped face.

Her expression of shock was quickly replaced with one of pain as she recoiled away from my hand. "Edward…? What are you doing here?"

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A/N: I know! Another cliffy...At least they have finally seen each other! Will Bella take him back? How much will Edward have to do to get in her good graces again?

**Please be kind and drop a few words to let me know what you think of the chapter. Reviews honestly do make me write faster!**


	21. Chapter 21

**BPOV**

My brain was foggy. Light was filtering into the room and I was struggling to even open my eyes. How long had I been out? How much pain medication did Carlisle give me? I felt like I had been asleep for hours. My limbs felt heavy as I rolled over onto my back and willed my eyes to open. My arms stretched lazily over my head and my legs moved across the bed. The blankets were a tangled mess around my body and I felt imprisoned by them as well as the drugs that seemed to also have a strong hold on my brain.

Wake up…wake up! "Damn drugs," I muttered sleepily.

I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes, fighting my brain in its drug-induced haze. I looked at the blankets wrapped around my legs and shook my head to wake myself up further. I took a deep breath and my lungs were instantly filled with a wonderfully sweet smell. It was the same scent that I had smelled in my room the day before. As I sat there racking my brain for answers it couldn't give me, I had the distinct feeling that I was being watched.

I slowly turned my head toward the bedroom door and my gaze instantly locked with a pair of topaz eyes. I wasn't prepared for the emotions that would hit me all at once. There standing in front of me was a ghost…he had to be…he wasn't really here right? My brain was on drugs and had created one hell of a realistic hallucination. The man before me began to move slowly toward the bed. My eyes stayed locked on his as he moved. This hallucination was so real.

"Bella…," the velvet voice whispered.

His voice shook me to my core. I wasn't dreaming. There standing in front of me was Edward Cullen. I watched as his hand moved toward my face. Before I could register what I was doing, I moved away from his hand and clutched my middle as the pain ripped through me.

"Edward…? What are you doing here?" The pain escalated and I held on to my midsection like it would float away.

"Bella…," he said again, "I won't hurt you. I couldn't stay away. I was such a fool."

I sat on the bed stunned at what he had just told me. It took a minute before my mind could process what he said. "You were a fool? Is that the best you can give me?" I asked as my voice rose in volume with each word.

His face visibly winced in pain and was quickly replaced by a calm mask. My blood began to boil as I looked at him. I couldn't believe that after all these years, he would still hide his true feelings from me. He stared at me and I found that I couldn't take my eyes off of him either. He was still perfect. Everything from his eyes to his strong jaw line was perfect. He oozed perfection and right now that thought made me sick.

"You're damn right…you were a fool," I seethed at him, "and so was I. I was a fool for believing that you would be there for me. I was a fool to believe that you would never leave me. I was a fool for believing that you ever loved me. Everything you ever told me was a lie…and I believed all of it!"

"Bella, please don't say that. It's not true," he spoke, his voice remained calm, but I swore that I heard it hitch just a bit.

_Good._ I thought to myself. Let's see him suffer for a while. I was shocked at my reaction towards Edward, but not entirely surprised. I had been in pain for so long and had just started to heal. I had started to live my own life. Circumstances had changed the direction my life had been heading, but I still felt that I was on a path to recovery. I wasn't going to allow him to set me back.

"You didn't answer my question, Edward," I said again. "What are you doing here?"

I watched as his expression changed from being blank, showing no emotion, to one of pure anger. I cowered away from him in fear, although I knew deep down inside that he would never hurt me. I had never seen him this angry before. Too quickly the anger that had appeared on his face dissipated back to his blank expression. His expressions made me swim with dizziness as I watched him and waited for him to speak.

We continued to stare at each other for what seemed a lot longer than it really was before he finally spoke.

"I came here because Alice had a vision about Jasper," he answered calmly. My instinct told me that wasn't the whole truth. I knew from experience that he only kept things from me to protect me, but that didn't mean that I wasn't mature enough to handle the truth.

My eyes never wavered from his and I watched as the color changed and swam with emotion that I hadn't seen in a while. I wanted to believe that our problems were not insurmountable, that somehow I had moved past my teenage years and had grown up, but as I continued to look at him I noticed my reserve begin to crack. I felt my mind slip back to when I was seventeen and was madly in love with a vampire that couldn't or wouldn't love me back. I swallowed the lump that had begun to form in my throat and closed my eyes tight.

"Is that the only reason?" I asked softly, pressing for the real reason for his return.

"No," he stated simply.

Tears threatened to spill over and I tried to desperately will them away to no avail. They were flowing freely now and there wasn't anything I could do to stop them.

"You hurt me."

"Yes," he answered, as he hung his head.

"You left me. I ran after you…I…I…tried to run after you," I stammered as the tears continued to flow. It was at that moment that I decided I wasn't going to hold back the pain. I had to let it out; I needed to be rid of it.

"Do you have any idea what you did to me?" I questioned, watching him as my words cut through him like a knife. "Look at me, Edward!"

He raised his eyes to mine. I took a few breaths to calm myself, and while he looked at me, the floodgates opened.

"I was a shell of a human being. I couldn't eat or sleep. After a while, Charlie threatened to ship me off to Florida to live with Renee. It was at that time that I knew I had to snap out of it. I had to at least pretend to be living."

I chuckled to myself as I remembered how Edward used to tell me what a horrible actor I was. "I perfected my acting skills, Edward. For months I lived, or at least acted like it. I went to school, came home, cooked dinner, did my homework, and went to bed. It was a monotonous existence but at the time it was all I had.

"I kept my window open for a while, hoping that you would come back for me. You tried to erase yourself from my life by taking my most prized possessions. By doing that you took care of the physical reminders of you, Edward, but what you didn't take into consideration was the emotional attachment I felt. I may only be a human girl, but my feelings ran deep. At least my feelings for you were real. You're not very smart for a vampire that has lived…what is it now…111 years?"

His eyes never left mine while I spoke and I was beginning to be hypnotized by them. I closed my eyes and continued. "I eventually did find my sun in the darkness," I began again and smiled as I thought about Jacob. "I started living again, but what you don't know is that all the while I thought I was living, I was really slowly dying inside. I lived recklessly…"

"You promised…" he began.

"So did you," I interrupted. "You promised you would never leave me…and you did. I guess we both broke our promises, huh?" I could feel the anger boiling in my blood.

"I said I would stay as long as it was what's best for you. Those were my exact words. It wasn't safe for you. My own family put you at risk that day! Forget about the other dangers that you seemed to find yourself in, Jasper lost control. All it took was one little drop."

I moved my feet as I tried to get comfortable and winced in pain.

"We can finish talking later," he said looking toward the blanket covering my swollen ankle. He moved closer to me, "Let's take you downstairs and get you set up on the couch. I'll get you something to eat and drink." He bent over to pick me up and I immediately shot my hand up to stop him.

"Not you," I said as the pain registered across his face. "I'm not ready to have you touching me just yet. You are going to have to give me some time, Edward. I'm not the same naive little girl you knew three years ago."

"I understand," he resolved turning for the door. "I'll go get Emmett."

Ten minutes later, a hyped-up Emmett bounded through my bedroom door. "Damn, Bella, how is it that you missed all the excitement?"

"Emmett…," growled Edward from behind him.

"What excitement?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

"You mean Eddie here didn't tell you what you missed? Shit, Edward,...when are you ever going to learn to just tell her the truth?" Emmett smacked his brother's head.

Edward rubbed where Emmett had hit him. "We were talking about other things," he replied. "It didn't come up."

"Let me get you downstairs and I will be more than happy to give you all the gory details," Emmett said as he gently picked me up and headed for the door.

"Ummm…Emmett?"

"Ya, sis, what's wrong?" he looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"I need a human moment before going downstairs." I felt my face blush from embarrassment.

"A human moment?" Emmett asked innocently.

"She needs to go to the restroom," Edward replied exasperatedly.

"What…OH!" he exclaimed as the realization of what I was telling him sunk in.

After taking care of my human need - bathroom, brushing teeth, combing hair - I was ready to go downstairs and find out what had happened while I was chemically out of my mind.

Emmett placed me on the couch gently and put a blanket around my legs to keep me warm. I looked out the large window that peered into the front yard and saw a large billowing cloud of purple smoke. Confusion swept my brow as I turned to look at Edward and Emmett. "What happened while I was asleep?"

"We were attacked by Victoria, Irina, and a newborn," Edward answered calmly. He watched me closely as it took a moment to register what he had just told me.

An expression of shock flashed across my face as I realized what I had missed and what could have happened. I gasped audibly and put my hand over my mouth. Victoria and Irina were here. They had come for me, and as they did, I slept upstairs in my room oblivious to what was going on around me.

"Carlisle talked some sense into Irina," Emmett continued while rubbing small circles along my shoulders with his palm. "It was a good thing he was here. She's outside helping Jasper and Carlisle clean up the mess."

"You said something about a vision that Alice had," I stated looking at Edward. "What was that about?"

"She had a vision of Jasper's death by Victoria's hand." Edward took in an unnecessary breath and his eyes didn't leave mine. "Victoria is gone now. You're safe and so is Jasper."

"What happened to the newborn?" I inquired.

"Riley?" Emmett answered pointing outside. "See that pile of parts and the cloud of purple haze over there? Riley wouldn't behave so I had to rip his arms off." Emmett grinned showing his dimples.

"I helped," Jasper interceded as he walked in the door. Carlisle followed close behind him, and bringing up the rear was someone I didn't recognize…a woman…Irina? She was beautiful, with long flowing hair and the same topaz eyes of the Cullens'. She walked gracefully into the room but stood back while Jasper and Carlisle found a spot on the cushions next to me.

Emmett waited and then continued telling me the story, while Jasper and Carlisle added information from their points of view. Edward sat back quietly in the chair across from me, never taking his eyes off my body. He watched my expressions change as I listened to Emmett speak. I looked up to see him stiffen when Emmett told me that Riley had escaped from Jasper's grasp and had gone searching for me.

I had a hard time imagining what had actually transpired while I was asleep as Emmett carefully went over all, and I mean all, of the gory details. When he started talking about the part where Victoria had Edward pinned to the ground with her teeth at his neck, I realized that Irina's eyes were on me. Her staring made me feel uneasy; I was leery of being so close to the vampire that only a few days ago wanted me dead and was willing to help Victoria do it.

Jasper moved closer to me as he sensed my uneasiness. He sat down next to me, grabbed my hand and immediately a calm soothed me.

"I won't let anything happen to you. You don't need to be afraid of Irina. She's like us…strictly vegetarian," Jasper commented as he washed me in calm once more. His comment didn't help ease my emotions, but his gift did relax me some. I had a difficult time wrapping my brain around the idea that Irina had suddenly had a change of heart. I knew that she'd wanted revenge for something; I just didn't know what that was yet.

"I need to apologize to you, Bella." Irina looked at me with her topaz eyes blazing with sincerity. "I was foolish to go along with what Victoria wanted me to do. I hope that some day you will find it in your heart to forgive me. It won't happen again."

"She means it, Bella." Edward's gaze fell upon Irina. I assumed he was searching her thoughts for the truth.

"Why me?" I whispered knowing she would hear me. "What did I do to you?"

Irina chuckled softly to herself. "I can tell why Edward finds you so enduring. You're not afraid to ask questions, are you?"

I shook my head while looking her. My eyes never left hers as I listened to her version of the story. She spoke with pride about Laurent and how he had changed while staying with the Denali coven. Her face fell when she talked about how he told her he was leaving to help a friend take care of some unfinished business. She told me she had run into Victoria purely by accident while she had been looking for Laurent, and that Victoria had told her how he had died.

"I have been watching you a long time, Bella. I watched your interactions with the wolves and saw how devoted they were to you. I figured the best way to hurt them was by hurting you. I knew I couldn't kill you myself…that would go against my vow not to harm humans…Victoria gave me the out I needed. I was foolish to behave the way I did. I am ashamed of my actions…"

"It won't happen again," Edward repeated Irina's words in a harsh tone that didn't go unnoticed by me.

"No, it won't," Irina assured him as she moved to the door and turned around to address Carlisle. "I truly am sorry, Carlisle. I know it will take a while to gain your trust back, and I fully expect to have to work for it. Until next time…" she said as she quietly exited the room.

The sudden quiet that followed lasted for what seemed like more than just a few minutes before Emmett decided to speak. "Well…I think it's time to go home. Bella's safe…Jasper's safe…and I got to rip apart a couple of vampires. I've had one hell of a busy day."

I felt a slight tug of my heart as I listened to Emmett talk about going home. Was that it? Now that I was safe, they would all leave again?

"I'm not going anywhere," Jasper soothed as he caught on to the familiar pain that he had witnessed over the last couple of weeks. He looked at me with a compassion borne out of the bond we'd created. "If I leave, you're coming with me, but only when you are ready."

"Alice needs you, Jasper," I whispered. "I'll be alright."

"I am not leaving unless you come with me," he repeated again.

"I will not desert you again. I made a promise to you and it is a promise I intend to keep," he assured me as I heard a low growl come from Edward sitting across the room.

I rested my head on Jasper's stone shoulder and let his calming waves flow through me. I knew I could trust him. I knew what I needed to do to get Jasper back to Alice…I needed to deal with my past.

"Well, I'm leaving. Carlisle and I have a flight that leaves in a couple of hours." Emmett strode across the room and stopped in front of me. "Don't let him get away with the same shit he always has," Emmett whispered in my ear while pointing at Edward. "He'll try to dazzle you back. You make him work for it. Got it, Squirt?"

I nodded my head and smiled warmly at him. I had missed having him in my life and it felt good to feel safe and protected. "I'll see you at the wedding," I responded as I held out my arms. Emmett picked me up a little too roughly and squeezed.

"Emmett…can't….breathe…," I choked.

He laughed heartily and set me back down on the couch. "God! I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too, Em," I answered. "See you in a few weeks."

Carlisle got up to follow Emmett out the door. "Jasper, if you need anything, just call. Bella, take it easy and stay off the ankle for at least another week. I've left some more pain meds on the kitchen counter. I would suggest that you take them before you go to sleep at night. Edward…" I watched as Carlisle locked eyes with Edward in a silent conversation.

"Thanks, Carlisle," I murmured. "I think I've slept through enough excitement. I really don't like the way they make me feel."

"I know I'm never going to forget 'stoned Bella'!" Emmett boomed as he stepped out the door.

"Regardless," Carlisle said turning his attention back to me, "they are there if you need them."

After Carlisle and Emmett left, an uneasy tension immediately filled the room. Jasper was looking intently at Edward and I decided this was a good time to hash things out with him.

"Jasper, do you need to go hunting?" I asked hoping he would catch the hint that I wanted some alone time with his brother.

"No, I'm fine," he answered, never taking his eyes off Edward.

"Please…Jasper…you need to go hunting," I insisted.

He slowly turned his head to look at me. "You want me to leave?"

"Yes," I answered. "Edward and I need to talk."

"It'll be okay, Jasper," Edward encouraged. "I won't do anything foolish. I won't hurt her again. Your eyes are black. You need to hunt."

Jasper looked at me intently, as the unasked question graced his features.

"I'll be fine," I mouthed. "Go."

Begrudgingly, Jasper left my side and walked to the sliding glass door facing his back yard. "I won't be far. If you need me…"

"I know," I interrupted. I watched as Jasper opened the door and disappeared into the trees.

The tension didn't leave the room after Jasper departed. We sat in silence for a while as I played with my fingers nervously. I tried to think of the best way to talk about how I felt. I had to admit I wasn't prepared to see him again. He had told me he would leave and never come back and here he was sitting in the living room only a few feet away.

It was Edward that finally broke the silence. "Are you in pain?"

"Not physically," I whispered softly, but he still heard me.

I shifted uncomfortably and continued to play with my fingers. I heard Edward move and felt the cushions sink with his weight as he sat next to me.

"I know I said some things that hurt you," he began, "but I want you to know they were all lies, Bella. None of it was true. I loved you…I still love you…and I always will. I only wanted to keep you safe, and I felt that you weren't safe around me or my family. I thought I was doing what was best for you."

"You sound like my father," I snapped. "You didn't have the right to decide what was best for me and what wasn't. I have always believed that a person had a right to make their own decisions. You took that from me. I had no control over what you did. Don't you think that I had a right to decide what danger I wanted to put myself in?"

"You didn't belong in my world, Bella! I put you in danger every single day! What happened at your birthday party only proved to solidify what I knew was already true!"

"I still deserved a choice, Edward. You could have discussed it with me. Isn't that how most normal relationships work?"

"Our relationship wasn't normal!" he growled at me. "I am a vampire! There is nothing normal about a vampire being in love with a human…everything about it is NOT normal."

Edward got up and quickly began pacing the room. I knew he was frustrated. I was frustrated too. I had spent the last three years trying to piece my life back together and now I found myself in what seemed a bigger mess than before. I knew I still had feelings for him…the feelings had never gone away. Even when Jacob and I spent time together, Edward was always in the back of my mind.

"So…," I sighed, "where does that leave us?"

"Do you want there to be an 'us'?" He stopped pacing and looked at me. I could see the hope in his eyes as he waited for me to answer his question.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "There's no guarantee that I'll stay out of danger…I always seem to find it…I don't think I could handle it if you decided to leave again 'to keep me safe,'" I said making quotes with my fingers.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said pinching the bridge of his nose. "I was miserable without you too. I can't leave…it would kill me."

"You're already dead," I joked trying to lighten the mood.

He sighed.

"I see you haven't lost your sense of humor," he said as he flashed me his crooked smile.

Edward walked back over to the couch and sat beside me again. We had more to talk about but I knew that we had time to do that. I wasn't in a hurry to rush into anything. I needed to guard my heart and let things fall where they were supposed to.

"Let's just take one day at a time," I resolved. "You've got plenty of that, right?"

Edward chuckled and smiled again, and I felt an electric current pass between us as he weaved his fingers in mine. "I have forever," he replied softly as he gently squeezed my hand.

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A/N: Reviews are like candy!!! Please let me know what you think.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters…or the movie… (Damn it!) But it is still so much fun to play with them. Too bad this couldn't be real!**

**A/N: I want to thank all of my loyal reviewers and those that have joined my little world. Your words keep me going and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!**

**BPOV**

Now that the danger was behind me, I would have thought the tension in the house would have lightened up. That was the furthest thing from the truth. In fact, if I could measure the emotion that swam around the room and through my body, I was sure the meter would read 'EXTREME TENSION-PROCEED WITH CAUTION.' To be quite honest...I was pissed off about it.

Once again I was the "helpless" human who couldn't take care of herself...that needed protected. My problem was that I couldn't figure out who I needed to be protected from.

Jasper did nothing to alleviate the problem either. Over the past two days he had left the house only to hunt, and he was never gone more than an hour at a time. I knew he had a class to teach and I wondered how he was keeping it going from home. Something told me it wouldn't be a good idea to ask. I had a feeling that even if I did ask, I wouldn't get a straight answer. I had a hard time trusting that what he would tell me would be the truth. He had lied already about Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle being in Seattle. What would prevent him from lying again?

Edward remained silent and constantly kept an eye on Jasper; I assumed it was to make sure he was appropriate with me, but I couldn't be certain. Most of the time, he would sit in what I had now deemed "Edward's chair" and watch what was unfolding around him. I didn't understand why he was so quiet and it added to the uneasiness that had begun to develop between us.

Edward and I hadn't had anymore conversations about the past, and when we did talk it was only about small trivial things like what I wanted to watch on television or what I wanted to eat or drink. I found that the less we talked the more frustrated I became.

It was Jasper that took care of getting me downstairs and on the couch every morning and it was the same routine in reverse every evening. Although the tension between us was building, I still felt more comfortable with him taking care of this small chore. It wasn't that I was trying to necessarily punish Edward, but with the awkwardness between us, I felt it better to keep the same routine, at least for now. To say I was looking forward to walking on my own was an understatement.

By the evening of the second day, it all came to a head. I was sitting on the couch mindlessly watching the television while munching on some popcorn as Jasper came in the door from his hunt. It wasn't late, maybe 9 o'clock, and I heard Jasper ask, "Bella...are you tired? Do you want me to take you upstairs?"

I looked at him incredulously and answered, "Do I look tired?"

Edward snorted softly from the chair he was sitting in. A small smirk formed on his face. I didn't understand what was amusing him and it angered me. "What are you smiling at?" I hissed.

Edward raised his hands in surrender, "Nothing...nothing at all," he countered, still smiling.

I turned my attention to Jasper. "All I do is sit on this couch and watch TV and eat. I have probably gained 15 pounds from lack of exercise. I am not tired. I can assure you that my brain wouldn't shut off now even if I wanted it to." I struggled to get to the edge of the couch to stand up. I wanted to hop to my room to get away from the two overbearing vampires in the room. I couldn't take it anymore.

Jasper quickly came to my side to help me up. "Get your hands off me!" I spat. "I am sure I can manage on my own!" My anger was building and I needed to get away before I blew up.

"Bella?" Jasper questioned with hurt in his eyes.

"The tension in this house is driving me insane. The two of you are driving me nuts!" I pointed at them as I ranted. "All you guys do is hover over me! I need to breathe for crying out loud."

Jasper sighed and instantly calmed the room. The tension dissipated in an instant, but my anger did not.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Jasper whispered. "I am only trying to help. I don't want to break my promise to you. Your emotions have been all over the place the last couple of days. I don't know what to think."

"Have you thought about _why_ my emotions are all over the place, Jasper?" I asked pulling myself off of the couch. I steadied myself and hopped to the end of the couch to face him. Edward was on the edge of his seat watching me closely.

"I haven't...not really...no," he finally answered.

I really didn't want to get into it with Jasper in front of Edward. This really was something we should discuss in private, but I knew that I had lost control. "First...you lied to me! You said you would always tell me the truth...that you would be honest...but you didn't. You're no better than he is." I pointed my finger at Edward and out of the corner of my eye, saw him stiffen.

"Why didn't you tell me Edward was here? Did you think I couldn't handle it? What gave you the right to keep something like that from me?"

"I knew you were hurting," Jasper began, "I thought it was for the best."

"What is it with you vampires anyway?" I shouted at him. "When do I get to decide what's best for me? Isn't this my life? When do I get a say in it?"

I felt a calmness wash over me and I knew that my anger was getting to Jasper. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the feeling he was giving me while I did my best to slow my breathing down.

"Look...I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate everything you've done for me, because honestly Jasper, I owe you a lot," I resigned. I looked into his golden eyes and smiled warmly at him. "I am safe now. Victoria is gone. I know you only have my interests at heart. I realize that you're only trying to protect me from getting hurt again, but enough is enough! You only leave to hunt...you hover over me like I'm a child."

I paused and looked at Edward and turned my attention back to Jasper. "Edward and I have a lot to work out and to be honest with you it's hard to do that with you constantly at my side." I reached my hand up and put it on the side of his face. His skin was so cool and smooth. I rubbed my thumb along his cheek and felt him lean into my hand.

"I just don't want to see you hurting anymore," he whispered.

"You can't take it all on, Jasper. That wouldn't be right. At some point I am going to have to deal with these emotions anyway...right? I need to move on and deal with things without you interfering or manipulating what's going on around me. I love you, Jasper, more than I thought I ever would, and it's time for you to let me go."

I heard Edward growl from his chair and my head instantly turned to him. If looks could kill, he would have died...again. "Edward...," I chastised. He sat back in his chair and hung his head.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Jasper apologized. "I guess I overstepped the friend boundary a little, huh?"

I chuckled. "Yes, just a little...but I understand why. I am so very happy that you found me. I feel like we have a special bond...that is so different from anything I could have ever imagined...you will always hold a special place in my heart."

I sighed and hopped toward the stairs, trying not to fall on my face.

"Please, Bella," Edward pleaded. "Let one of us help you before you hurt yourself more."

I turned and glared at him before diverting my attention back to Jasper. "Alice needs you now, Jasper. I'll be fine. Go home to Alice."

He hesitated a little before slowly nodding his head. "Okay...I'll go...Edward..."

I watched the silent conversation between the two brothers before I decided to try to ascend the staircase to my room. I held the banister and hopped up the first step.

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EPOV

The last couple of days have been unbearable. I paid close attention to Jasper's thoughts while he cared for Bella and if I were to be honest with myself, they were nothing but gentlemanly...like a brother toward a sister, but not being able to read her mind was driving me insane. She smiled at him in ways that she used to smile at me. Not knowing what was happening in her pretty little head was more than I could bear right now.

The tension in the house was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I half expected that Jasper would do something to alleviate the emotion in the room, but he didn't. I was beginning to think that the tension was coming from him and some of it from Bella. He didn't leave the house except to hunt and I noticed that he was never gone long enough for Bella and me to hash out any of our issues. He was always there.

I kept a close watch over Bella and was thankful that Jasper didn't object to the idea of me spending Bella's sleeping hours with her. I wasn't sure if she knew I was there. I was careful not to wake her. Her nightmares were nonexistent,but she still mumbled in her sleep. What made things difficult for me and pained my heart each time I watched her sleep was the fact that it wasn't only my name that fell from her lips. She was battling internally with other issues as well as ours.

Bella was never one to put herself before anyone else and the guilt I knew she felt about keeping Jasper from Alice was eating her up. She mumbled his name and would add a few things about Alice every time she slept. She knew that by Jasper staying here to protect her from me, that she was also keeping him from going home to Alice.

I loved watching her sleep and realized that this was one of my favorite past times as of late. It was the only time that I could get a glimpse into her complex mind and try to decipher what she was thinking. Jasper's name wasn't the only name that she whispered either. Every once in a while I would hear my name, and when she spoke it, there was usually pain in her voice. I had hurt her so badly when I left. In the past, just hearing her whisper my name would make my dead heart soar; now it seemed to break each time it escaped from her lips.

The one thing that confused me was the mention of Jacob. I knew the boy had a crush on Bella. I could read his thoughts when he cut in during the dance that I had taken Bella to our junior year. He cared deeply for her, and I could tell from her whispers as she slept that he held a special place in her heart too. I needed to find out the extent of their relationship. I only hoped that I wasn't too late to reclaim her heart.

The chair near the television had become my permanent place in the living room as Bella watched TV. It seemed that was the closest she would let me get to her. I tried over the past couple of days to sit next to her on the couch, but just before I would move, Jasper would take a spot near her. To say it frustrated me would be an understatement, and Jasper would smirk at the emotions I was giving off. It was as if this was a game to him.

We rarely talked about anything other than what to watch or what she wanted to eat and I could tell that it was slowly getting to her. I knew that she wanted to talk about why I had left, but there never seemed to be enough time to really get into a conversation like we needed to.

I heard Jasper's thoughts before he entered the room from his hunt. _I really need to make sure she's okay. Her emotions have been all over the place. I'm not so sure that having Edward watch her at night is helping things. She seems more confused than ever. Maybe I can get her alone and talk with her._

He came in the sliding glass doors and immediately asked Bella if she was tired. The expression that flashed across her face was priceless. She was extremely frustrated in an instant and her face didn't hide that fact. What surprised me most of all was that Jasper didn't catch on. It took all I had not to laugh out loud; instead, I snorted to keep from laughing.

"What are you smiling at?" she hissed at me.

I quickly shook my head and raised my hands in surrender. "Nothing...nothing at all!" I said still smiling.

_She's frustrated._ Jasper's thoughts rang in my head.

I looked at him as if to say 'DUH!'

She slowly maneuvered to the edge of the couch and tried to stand up. I thought about helping her but quickly changed my mind when she told Jasper not to touch her.

I had never seen her this angry before. She held nothing back as she laid into Jasper about how he had kept my arrival a secret from her. While listening, I made a mental note to myself...I was going to do my best to be honest with her. In the past, I had felt the need to keep things from her...to protect her...I could see that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to continue with that behavior.

As she ranted about the two of us driving her insane with the tension between us, I felt Jasper attempt to calm the room. I listened as he apologized to her for making things more difficult for her. I understood his desire to keep the promise he made to her, and I could tell from his thoughts that his actions were confusing to him as well. He knew he had crossed some invisible barrier between them but wasn't sure how to not be overprotective of her. He loved her and wanted to protect her from the hurtful feelings he knew she would have to deal with, and knowing she would have to feel the emotions pained him.

I listened as she told him how she and I needed to deal with our issues. When she spoke my name, she would look at me then turn her attention back to Jasper. It was when she told him how she felt about him that I lost the control I had over my jealousy. I didn't realize that a growl had escaped from my mouth as she told him she loved him. She turned her face quickly to mine while speaking my name harshly and I knew that I needed to keep my jealous feelings to myself.

She hopped carefully to the stairs and I was on the edge of my seat waiting for Jasper to say something to her. When he didn't, I spoke. "Please, Bella," I pleaded, "let one of us help you before you hurt yourself more."

Of course, I got the 'look' again as she ignored me and continued to the stairs, telling Jasper that he needed to go home to Alice and that she would be okay. I longed to hear what she was really thinking as she spoke to him. Was she ready to be alone with me? Would she accept me back?

It was Jasper's thoughts to me that shook me from my reverie. _I am only going back because of Alice, Edward. She needs me and I need to make things right with her. Don't do anything foolish, please. Let her get everything out before you try to come back fully into her life. She loves you but is so scared that you're going to leave her again. So help me, Edward, if you do anything to hurt her, you will have to answer to me._

I nodded slightly at him indicating I heard what he thought.

_Help her up the stairs, Edward. She's going to hurt herself, _he thought as he watched her try to hop up the first step.

I moved over to her quickly, but still kept my distance. "Let me help you, Bella," I whispered. "I'll take you to your room and leave you alone if that's what you want...just let me help you up the stairs."

She turned to look at me, sighed deeply, and slowly nodded her head. "Okay," she resolved.

I picked her up bridal style and relished in the warmth of her body against mine. I turned to look at Jasper as he watched us. "Thank you, brother," I said quietly, "for everything..."

_Just watch her heart, Edward. Take it slow. _He looked at Bella and said, "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yes," she replied, "go to your wife, Jasper...She needs you now. I'll be fine."

She turned her attention back to me and whispered, "Take me upstairs, Edward."

As I slowly walked up the stairs, I felt Bella's weight shift under my arms. "Are you uncomfortable?" I asked gently.

"No," she replied timidly as her head lay against my shoulder. I felt her warm breath on my neck as her arm came up and rested on my chest. She breathed in deeply and sighed softly. I looked at her beautiful face and noticed that she had closed her eyes and had a small smile across her lips.

As I reached her room, my nerves were getting the best of me. Would she want me to stay? Were we going to talk now? Would she finally let me back in her life? How hard was I going to have to work to earn her trust? The answer to that question was simple...I would do anything for her...hell...I was ready to spend the rest of my existence doing what I needed to do to get her back.

I pushed the door open with my foot and walked into the room. I moved over to the bed and gently laid Bella down on the fluffy white comforter and turned on the lamp next to her bed. She shivered as our bodies lost contact and I grabbed the throw from the end of the bed. "Are you cold?" I asked.

"Not really," she answered while she moved to the head of the bed and propped herself against the pillows. Her chocolate brown eyes searched mine and I wished that I could see into her pretty little head to know exactly what she was thinking.

An uncomfortable silence fell between us as I uncharacteristically shifted my weight from one foot to the other. "I'll leave you alone..."

"NO!" she called out, stopping my movement immediately. "I mean..." she paused as the blush filled her cheeks. God, I loved it when she blushed. "I'd like you to stay, Edward."

"As you wish," I replied quietly. I looked around the room and decided to sit in the chair that had been my home for the past couple of evenings. Whenever Bella slept, I would sit patiently in the chair near her bed until I was certain that she was in a deep sleep before moving over to where she laid.

"Edward...," she hesitated, her heart rate was skyrocketing and I could tell she was nervous.

"Bella?"

"Um...will you...um..." She nervously played with her fingers and took a deep breath before continuing. "Will you please sit by me?"

I moved cautiously over to the bed and sat next to her stiffly. Everything inside me screamed to pull her into my embrace and never let her go. I had held her during the night, but she had been asleep. This was completely different. I didn't want to make a move to make her uncomfortable.

She giggled next to me and shook her head.

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"You are so uncomfortable around me. Look at how stiff you are."

"I'm sorry."

"You say that a lot too," she sighed and turned to face me. "I'm not mad at you...not anymore. I'm glad you're here. I'm sorry if I've made things difficult for you, that wasn't my intention."

I nodded my head and clenched my jaw. "You've changed a lot... you're more grown up."

"It's been three years, Edward, that's what humans do...they grow up." Her eyes flickered with the emotion she was beginning to feel...anger.

"What can I do to make the pain go away, Bella?" I whispered while I mindlessly pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her breath hitched and I realized the unconscious act I had just done had surprised her. It was so easy to be around her like nothing had ever happened.

"I don't know," she answered as I saw the tears forming in her eyes. "I want to believe what you told me...that you still love me...but I can't seem to wrap my brain around why you lied to me. Why did you hurt me like that?" The tears were flowing freely from her eyes and it took all my strength not to grab her and hold her tight.

"I knew that if I didn't speak those horrible lies, you would have tried to follow me. I knew you wouldn't have moved on like you needed to. I thought that if I told you I didn't love you, it would make it easier for you to continue with your life without me." I was rambling and probably speaking too fast for her to understand, but I knew I had to get out the truth. She needed to know why I lied. She deserved the truth. She was sobbing quietly while looking down at her lap as I continued.

"By staying with me, Bella, you were in danger every day. I had to guard myself and watch my every move when I was around you...not that I minded," I added. "When Jasper lost it on your birthday, that was the last straw. I knew that you didn't belong in my world. I wasn't going to put you in danger. I had to do what I could to keep you safe, even if that meant saying good bye to you." I paused and gently put my cold finger under her chin forcing her to look at me.

"I'm so very sorry, love," I said, cupping her face in my hands. I gently wiped the tears from her eyes with my thumbs. "I will do whatever it takes to make things right with you. I made a horrible mistake."

She sniffed and didn't take her eyes off mine. I'm not sure how long we sat like we were, my cold hands holding her delicate face gently. I wanted to kiss her pain away, but I was afraid of hurting her more by doing so. I wanted to feel her warm lips against mine, but I knew I was selfish to think that way. I needed to learn to put her feelings before mine. I needed to put myself in her shoes, to feel what she felt. I knew that this was the only way I was going to earn her trust again. I couldn't be selfish; I needed to be selfless and think about her for a change.

I leaned in slowly as I watched her eyes and listened to her heart beat out of control. I moved my hands to her shoulders and her breathing hitched again while her eyes closed. My lips gently grazed her cheek and I breathed in her luscious scent. "I'm sorry," I whispered again gently brushing my nose along her cheekbone. I kissed the spot between her jaw and her neckline and whispered again, "I love you so much. Please forgive me."

A loud sob escaped from her lips as she gently pushed me away. "I'm not the same girl I was before," she sobbed.

"I know that," I soothed, cupping her face in my hands again.

"No, Edward...you don't understand...God!" she screamed as she looked at the ceiling above, tears were falling from her eyes rapidly.

"You won't love me after I tell you what I did," she sobbed, pain etched over her features.

"It doesn't matter what you've done, love. There is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you." I gently moved her head forcing her to look in my eyes. "Nothing," I said forcibly.

I watched as she shook her head roughly, forcing me to drop my hands so I wouldn't hurt her. She battled with herself internally, trying to find the right words to tell me what she was so upset about.

"Please tell me what you're thinking, Bella. What could you have done to make me stop loving you?"

"I slept..." she paused and looked me in the eye as another tear fell down her cheek. "I slept with Jacob Black!"

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A/N: Again...REVIEW?


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own them…never will.**

_Previously:_

"_I slept with Jacob Black!"_

BPOV

I couldn't believe what I had just told the love of my life. I had just told him that I had lost my virginity to another person. I waited patiently as the tears continued to flow from my eyes. What pained me the most was that Edward had just confessed his love for me, and I had crushed that love by telling him I wasn't the pure person he had left. I didn't know if the news I had given him would affect his feelings toward me or not. Had I known that he would come back, I would never have given my virginity away. I would have saved myself for him.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt him stiffen. His eyes grew black with anger. I knew it. I knew that he wouldn't accept me after telling him about my past. The tears came and there wasn't anything I could do to stop them. I realized that he was staring at me, waiting for me to continue; at least that is what I thought he was waiting for.

"Jacob was there for me, Edward," I sobbed. "He was my sun when you weren't there. I waited for you to come back, and you never did."

"Are you still in love with him?" he asked timidly. I never thought I would see him so broken. As I looked at him, I saw the pain written all over his face…he wasn't hiding from me any longer.

"No," I answered, and then added, "I never was, Edward. I could never love someone the way I loved you. No one could measure up to you. Jacob was a good distraction in a very dark time for me."

He cringed at my last words. "I told you to move on…I guess…I guess you did."

He looked down hiding his face from me.

I grabbed his hand. "No, Edward! That's just it! I never actually moved on!" I countered. "You told me you were never coming back. I believed you. Jacob was my best friend. We hung out, we rode motorcycles…" His head snapped up and he looked at me sternly.

"I already told you that I did those things. I know it sounds crazy, but when I did those careless acts…I heard you…," I said my voice trailing off.

"You heard me?" he inquired.

"Yes. I heard your voice in my head. It was the only way I felt close to you. When I would go against what you had asked me to do, I would hear your voice…it was like you were there with me."

His forehead wrinkled as he tried to process what I was telling him. I knew I sounded crazy, but I didn't care. He needed to know the truth behind my relationship with Jacob.

"So you deliberately put yourself in danger so you could hear my voice in your head?" he asked incredulously. He lifted his head and his eyes bore into mine seeking the truth.

"Yes," I answered wiping my nose with the back of my hand. "The first time I heard your voice was when I went out with Jessica to the movies. I thought that I had seen the men that had tried to attack me the night you took me to dinner the first time." I paused.

He didn't hide the emotions he was feeling from me. They were written all over his face. He was pained. I had broken my promise to him to keep myself safe. My mind raced with things I could say to make the pain go away. I didn't deserve him.

"You thought you saw the men that had nearly attacked you and you decided to go after them…because you heard my voice…in your head?" I nodded my head to answer his question.

I watched as Edward clenched and unclenched his fists in frustration. He looked down at his lap and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. I watched as the emotions continued to flit across his face. I had a hard time reading them all. After a few seconds, he motioned for me to continue with his hand.

"The next time I heard your voice was after Jacob had fixed my motorcycles," I continued.

"Motorcycles?" he broke in punctuating the "s" on the word.

"Yes, one was for me and the other I gave to Jacob in payment for fixing the bikes."

He sat completely still on my bed and didn't say a word. I knew he wanted me to continue with my story. If we were going to go on with our lives…if he was going to be with me…he needed to know the whole truth, even if that meant that I could lose him forever.

"Our relationship was strictly friendship…at first," I continued as I watched his jaw tighten. Again, he didn't speak, and I had to admit I was getting very nervous.

"Jacob had other…duties," I said not knowing what to call his patrol of my house and the surrounding areas. "He stayed up late at night and would often be around my house during the night. It was at those times that he would comfort me during my nightmares. You'd been gone for…I don't know…six months I think…maybe more…and I woke up one night from a nightmare that had seemed so real. Victoria haunted my dreams nightly…I couldn't get away from her influence. Jacob and his friends had followed her scent around the treaty line and had been on patrol for days."

"Wait!" he interrupted. "Jacob was patrolling for Victoria? Bella…" He was suddenly lost in thought. Then as if a light bulb went on over his head, he was immediately furious. He grabbed my arms roughly and I cried out in pain.

"Edward!" I screamed.

He immediately let go of my arms, but his anger was still present. His fists were clenching and his jaw was grinding. I swore I heard a low growl come from deep within his chest.

"Jacob _Black_," he muttered to himself, "descendent of Ephraim _Black_?"

"Yes…I think so," I answered quietly.

Edward was off of my bed quickly and began pacing around the room. If he had been a character in a cartoon he would have had steam coming out his ears. He was mumbling to himself but I could only make out a few words at a time.

I watched him pace in front of the bed and then he abruptly stopped, stood in front of me, and took my hands gently in his. "You mean to tell me that while I was gone…oh God! I can barely say it out loud…you were with a…werewolf?"

I wasn't frightened of him. I knew that he didn't mean to hurt me before, but I couldn't get the word out that he so needed to hear.

"Bella?" he questioned forcefully. His eyes bore into mine and I knew I needed to tell him the truth.

"Yes," I squeaked.

"UGGGHHH!" he roared as he heard my answer. He began pacing the room again, mumbling to himself. "I left to keep you safe," he mumbled quickly. Then he laughed and said, "You wind up with a young werewolf? Incredible. Do you realize how much danger you were in?"

"Jacob would never hurt me, Edward," I retaliated.

"He was a young werewolf, Bella. He could have lost his temper and phased in front of you! You could have been killed!" he yelled at me.

"But I wasn't…"

He stopped pacing and sat back down on the bed in front of me. His face registered the pain he felt again as he whispered, "You gave yourself to him?"

"Physically…yes…but my heart has only been yours, Edward," I whispered as the tears escaped my eyes again. I readied myself for the rejection that I knew I would soon feel. My heart was breaking in two and I wrapped my arms around myself to brace myself for the impact.

"Where is Jacob now?" he asked quietly.

"He imprinted…kind of like when vampires mate…on a wonderful girl named Alexis. We are friends, Edward…nothing more…in fact; I haven't talked to him since Jasper found me in Seattle. He isn't too fond of your family, for obvious reasons, and didn't agree with the fact that I wanted to be around Jasper after what had happened on my birthday."

His face smoothed out into an almost expressionless stare as he looked at me. I sat silently while waiting for the hammer to hit the head…it never came. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who had changed over the last three years.

"You can't stay away from trouble, can you?" he questioned as he flashed me his crooked smile.

"I guess not," I answered. "I'm sorry, Edward…"

His cool hands cradled my face. "There is nothing to forgive, my Bella," he said softly. "I left you…I told you to move on…and even though I never thought you would've moved on with a werewolf of all creatures, I was gone. I can't blame you for something you did when I was the one that told you to do it."

He stroked my cheeks with his thumbs and smiled warmly at me. "I guess we've made some progress tonight, huh?"

I sniffed and nodded my head.

"I realize that it will take some time for you to trust me again, Bella, but I intend on earning it back. I can't live another minute without you in my life. I love you so much." He leaned in and softly kissed me on the cheek. I felt my heart sore and I held my breath.

"Breathe, Bella," he crooned in my ear as he gently placed kisses along my jaw and neck.

"I've missed you," I whispered as he continued kissing me.

"Hmmm, you smell heavenly." He breathed in deeply at my neck and lifted his head to look at me. His eyes were changing colors rapidly from a beautiful topaz to black. As I looked into his eyes, I saw nothing but desire in them and I was ready to claim the prince from my dreams.

"Edward?" The question hung in the air as his lips gently claimed mine. I was home. His cool lips moved gracefully with mine…remaining chaste in their exploration. I longed to deepen the kiss but waited for him to make the first move. My dreams held nothing compared to the kiss I was experiencing from Edward. The passion I felt from him was oozing from his pores. I swore that I could feel everything he felt for me in the kiss that he gave me. I was in heaven.

His cold tongue gently licked my lower lip and I opened my mouth giving him permission to kiss me deeply. We had never gone this far before. The venom in his mouth tasted sweet and numbed my mouth slightly, but I didn't care. He tasted like heaven and I couldn't get enough of him. All the anger I had felt over the years…all the hurt…melted away and I felt my heart sore. It took all the control I had to continue to kiss him without attacking his body. He remained perfectly still as he explored my mouth, keeping his hands on the side of my face in a loving gesture.

He pulled away giving me a chance to breathe. I realized that I wasn't the only one who seemed to be out of breath. Our breaths were in sync with each other…each of us breathing in and out at the same time.

"Wow," he murmured breathlessly. He smiled as he gently pulled away still keeping my face in his hands. "That was better than I'd ever imagined."

"Me too," I sighed, "much better than my dreams."

He chuckled lightly, "You dreamed of me?"

"I think it was you…I never saw your face. You are the only one who could make me melt like you just did. My dreams were very vivid other than the fact that I couldn't see your face. You were my prince. I lived for those dreams."

He laughed again and mumbled something incoherent as he took my mouth with his again.

He pulled away too soon and wrapped me in his arms.

"Stay with me?" I asked quietly.

"Always," he answered while humming my lullaby.

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JPOV

It didn't take long for me to reach the Sea/Tac airport after leaving my home. I had some tribulation about leaving Bella alone with Edward, but I knew that it was time for me to leave and put my life together. Bella needed to take care of her life and I needed to fix mine. I knew deep down inside that Edward loved her and wouldn't harm her, but I couldn't shake the fact that I wasn't going to be there if things went wrong.

As I boarded the plane, my thoughts went back to a time when I couldn't have flown without Alice by my side encouraging me and telling me that I could do it. The burn was still in the back of my throat, but it was manageable. I took my seat in first class and settled in for the 6 hour flight ahead of me. The flight would give me the time I needed to plan the things I needed to say to Alice, but at the same time it was almost too long. I felt the need to get to her now. Patience had never been very high on my list of attributes.

I ran my fingers through my blonde curls nervously as I waited for the flight attendant to close the plane's door so we could take off. I was thankful that the seat next to mine wasn't taken. I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes.

I hadn't told my family that I was coming home. I wanted it to be a surprise; however I knew that if Alice was looking into my future at all, it wouldn't be a surprise to her. I figured that if I saw the family at the airport, my surprise wouldn't be a surprise at all…if not…well, I guess I would take care of that when I got there.

I lost myself in my thoughts and the next thing I knew, we were descending. Nervous knots twisted and turned in my stomach and I felt the uneasiness all around me. I pushed a wave of calm around me and instantly felt the atmosphere of the plane change. The last thing I needed was for my nervousness to affect the rest of the passengers on the plane.

I took a deep breath and looked out the window beside me. The lights from the city twinkled in the dark, illuminating the sky above. It really was a beautiful sight.

As the plane touched down, I felt the nerves kick in again. Would Alice be waiting for me? Would she accept me back after all of these years? I knew I had a lot of explaining to do. I only hoped that she would forgive me.

Alice was never one to hold grudges. Her bubbly personality and lighthearted demeanor wouldn't accommodate such behavior. She could get mad…I had been the brunt of her anger more times then I could count…however it seemed that her anger lasted only a few seconds before the smile that I knew and loved would grace her face again.

There had been countless times over the years when she could have given up on me and didn't. When we first got together, I struggled with our diet and failed many times. She would lovingly talk me through it and never left my side.

I felt extreme guilt for abandoning her after Bella's birthday party, but I knew that I didn't want to disappoint her or the family any longer. I had failed…again. I felt like I had let her down, and even though she said that everything was alright, I knew differently. She was disappointed in me because I had lost control and nearly killed her best friend. I had abandoned her when she needed me the most because of my guilt. She had not only lost her best friend, but also her husband.

The plane reached the gate and slowly came to a stop. Everyone around me started shuffling in their seats, eager to get off of the plane. I sat patiently and waited until the flight attendant opened the door before standing. I didn't have any luggage with me. In my haste to leave my house, I didn't think about packing.

As the people nervously waited to exit the plane, I sent out a wave of calm. I knew their uneasiness was due to my presence. People had an uncanny sixth sense when it came to danger. They may not be fully aware of the danger that they were in, but they felt in none the less.

I walked up the ramp at a less than human pace. I wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere. If anyone was here to meet me, they would be outside of the security area. Long gone were the days when you could meet your family right as you stepped off the plane.

I followed the crowd through the busy airport and through the security gates. I scanned the room looking for a familiar face, but didn't find one. Disappointment flooded my body as I realized that Alice wasn't looking for me to come home. Was I too late?

A half an hour later I was in the rental car driving towards one of the Cullen's many houses. Normally the trip would take five hours from the airport, but I knew that with my driving I would be at the house in approximately three.

The drive gave me plenty of time to think about what I wanted to say to my wife. I wanted to tell her that I had made a mistake in leaving, but I knew that there were so many good things that came out of that decision. I knew that if I could go back, I would make the same choice. There was only one thing I would have done differently; I would have come back a lot sooner, or at least visited periodically. The sporadic phone calls I made weren't enough to sustain Alice. She needed so much more from me. I mentally added that to my list of failures.

Running into Bella was an added plus to my separation from the family. I hadn't realized how empty I felt until she stumbled back into my life. Bella reminded me of my past and forced me to come to terms with it. At the same time, I knew that I had helped her deal with her ghosts too. We were both well on our way to healing, at least I knew she was, I had yet to find out what my future held.

Reuniting with my brothers, however chaotic and emotionally draining it was, solidified my need to come home. I missed the playful banters between Emmett and me. There was never a dull moment when he was around. He had a way of lightening the ever brooding mood Edward carried with him when he arrived at my home.

I had to admit that standing up to Edward had been the most difficult thing I had done. In the past, I had looked to him for advice. He was the wise one…the thinker…that knew the answers to many of the problems I faced in regards to the life that we lived. My first priority when Edward arrived was to protect Bella. I knew she wasn't ready to face him, and his behavior at SPU proved that he wasn't ready to face her either. For the first time since joining the Cullen family, I felt that I had a role other than the "newest vegetarian". I had gained control over my thirst and wanted to be the big brother I knew Edward and Bella needed. For the first time, Edward had to answer to me, and even I had to admit I liked this new role.

Carlisle accepted my new found confidence and welcomed me back into the family with open arms. I could feel the pride coming off of him when we first met and as he watched me around Bella. He supported my decision regarding Edward's contact with her and didn't argue when I asked him to stay away as well.

As I rounded the corner just before the long driveway that led to the house, I felt the nervous knots appear again. Emmett had said that Alice was in bad shape. That she had withdrawn into herself and wasn't the same. I was afraid of what I would find when I got home, but wasn't going to let that fear get in the way of reuniting with the love of my life.

I pulled up to the house slowly and noticed that is was quiet. The light was on in the living room but it looked as though no one was home. I stopped the car and turned off the engine. I took a deep unnecessary breath and closed my eyes. I needed to get control of my emotions before they got the best of me. I exited the car and slowly walked up the path leading to the front door.

Do I knock? I had been here countless times and had never felt the need to knock before. Taking another deep breath I turned the knob and let myself in. I walked into the living room and looked around. The television was on but the volume was turned down so low that I could barely hear it.

I kept waiting for Emmett to come from around a corner to scare me, but it never happened. I couldn't sense any emotions in the house at all. No one was home. I sat on the plush sofa in front of the TV and buried my face in my hands. My reunion with Alice would have to wait until they came back from wherever they were. I was frustrated, nervous, and excited all at the same time. Frustrated because no one was aware that I was coming home, meaning Alice wasn't looking for me; nervous because if she wasn't looking for me, what was she going to feel when she did see me; and excited because for the first time in three years I was finally putting my past behind me and was going to hopefully have the chance to start a brand new life.

I was so lost in my own emotions; I didn't feel the hesitation in the room until I heard her voice. "You kept me waiting a long time," she said quietly.

My head snapped up and there before me was Alice. She looked the same but different at the same time. She was in a pair of my old sweats with my favorite NY Giants t-shirt hanging limply from her body. Her eyes lacked the life and sparkle they once had and were pitch black, telling me she hadn't fed in quite a while. She wasn't wearing any makeup and the purple bruises under her eyes stood out more than I remembered they ever had. Even through all of the changes I noticed, I still couldn't find a flaw in her. She was still beautiful and my body welled up with the love I felt for her.

I stood up and slowly walked over to where she stood. I radiated the love I felt for her as I walked and hoped that she would accept it. When I reached her, I noticed that her head was down and she was sobbing quietly. I took all of the pain that radiated off of her and internalized it. I wanted to remember what I had put her through. I reached down and put my finger below her chin and forced her eyes up to mine. If she had been human, I knew that there would be tears falling from her black orbs. Instead of seeing tears I saw and felt the pain that was in her dark pools.

"Alice…," I soothed cupping her face in my hands, "I am so very sorry I kept you waiting. It will never happen again. I know I am asking a lot of you, but will you please forgive me?"

She looked at me and her features softened. I opened myself up to take the anger and pain that should have been aimed at me, but was surprised to find that those weren't the emotions that I was getting from her. I felt nothing but love and forgiveness and the feelings overwhelmed me. I couldn't help but look at her in shock. This woman was truly amazing and I vowed at that moment to never take her love for granted again.

"Don't leave me again," she reprimanded as she jumped into my arms.

"Never," I replied my lips claiming hers.

Her lips responded to mine and it felt like we hadn't been separated for three years. I was finally home and savored the emotions that poured out of my wife.

The love and desire quickly turned to embarrassment as she stopped kissing me and hung her head. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" I drawled knowing she loved it when my southern accent slipped through. "Why are you embarrassed?"

"Look at me!" she shouted and jumped quickly out of my arms. "I'm a mess!"

I picked her back up and brought her face level with mine. "Alice, it doesn't matter what you wear; you are always beautiful to me." I smiled warmly at her and threw the emotions I was feeling around the room.

"I actually like my shirt on you," I admitted hoping she would feel the sincerity in my words. "You are quite the specimen to behold, Mary Alice, truly a sight for sore eyes."

She attacked my lips again and I started moving toward the stairs to our room. I couldn't hold back the passion I was feeling for her and the desire that was coming off of her only added fuel to the fire. As she ravaged me with kisses and sweet words of endearment, I quickly found our room and pushed the door open. I moved over to the bed and gently laid her down.

She broke our kiss and her eyes, although pitch black, swam with desire. "I have missed you so much, Jazz," she whispered softly.

"I have missed you too," I answered placing a soft kiss just below her ear. "I was gone far too long."

"Yes you were…now show me how much you missed me," she crooned.

I didn't need to be told twice. I attacked her lips with my own, hungrily tasting the venom that pooled in her mouth. She was sweet and delicious and I couldn't get enough. It was like a monster had awakened in me and was fighting to get out.

I moved my lips off of hers and roughly grabbed the bottom of my shirt and tore it off her body.

"Shit!" I cursed.

Alice giggled below me. "I can always buy you another shirt, Jazz."

I was so busy mourning the loss of one of my favorite shirts that I nearly missed what Alice was wearing underneath. My breath hitched in my throat as I glanced at the beauty that was my wife. "Ungh, sweetheart, you are exquisite."

I gently pulled off the sweats she was wearing and noticed that she was wearing a thong that perfectly matched her black lace bra. I growled low at the sight of my wife's small body. She was definitely perfection in my eyes.

"Jasper…," she sighed. The lust was radiating off of her and it hit me like a wrecking ball.

My eyes roamed her body as my fingers grazed over her skin causing her to moan and writhe below me. I played her like a harp, rediscovering the things that made her scream my name. I needed to hear her scream my name.

I reached back and unhooked the bra and watched as her breasts popped from their confinement. I hungrily took her right nipple in my mouth while my other hand paid attention to the left, flicking it with my fingers. I switched sides and moved my tongue over her already hardened nipple causing her to moan below me.

I felt her reach for my shirt and in seconds my shirt was shredded and laid in pieces all over the room. "Anxious?" I giggled.

"Jasper quit playing with me and fuck me! It's been three years! There will be time for making love some other time. Take me…NOW!"

I didn't want to deny my wife anything any longer. I pulled her thong down her silky legs paying close attention not to rip the delicate fabric. I wanted to see this ensemble on her again. She grabbed my jeans and roughly undid the button and pushed the fabric down my legs along with the black boxers I wore underneath. My erection sprang from its imprisonment as I stepped to the floor to take my jeans and boxers the rest of the way off.

I quickly hovered over her and pushed my tip into her wet core. I wanted this to last, but I wasn't so sure that I would be able to make her feel good after not having her for so long.

"Please…," she begged moving her hips below me.

I kissed her roughly as I slid the rest of the way inside her tight wet core. She squirmed below me waiting for me to move and I needed to gain control or I would lose it too quickly. My wife wasn't known for being the most patient woman and I needed her to be now. "Please, sweetheart…if you don't quit moving, I will lose it before we begin."

Immediately sensing my anguish she stopped squirming and wrapped her arms and legs around me, drawing me close to her body. She lay perfectly still while planting gentle kisses along my shoulder and chest. Once I felt I had the control I needed not to explode in her prematurely, I began my gentle movements.

In…out…in…out.

With each push in I felt her passion; with each pull out I sent her my own. We were in sync and I was in heaven.

She moaned my name but it wasn't enough. I wanted her to scream. I picked up the pace and felt her walls tighten around my hard member. She was close and so was I. I wanted to feel her tight walls milk me while I came and she yelled my name.

"Oh…Jasper…don't…don't stop!"

I picked up speed again and shifted my weight so the tip of my cock hit her in just the right spot. That was her undoing. She writhed below me, coming hard and then I heard it loud and clear…

"JAASSSPER!"

Just as she screamed my name I felt my own release as three years worth of pain and anguish melted away with each pulse. I wrapped her in my arms and held on tight. I was finally home.

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A/N: Wow! My longest chapter yet…I hope I didn't disappoint. It seems that everything is right in the world of Twilight…

**Please make my day and send me some love in the way of reviews!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Don't own them…sigh!**

**EPOV**

I didn't know if I could ever tire of watching Bella as she slept. Her deep breaths tickled the space my heart once inhabited, sending a warm feeling throughout my entire body. Never in all my years had I known such bliss. I was whole...complete...for the first time in three ryeas; I felt like myself again.

I sighed deeply as the events of the past few weeks took a hold of my mind. It was during Bella's time of sleep that I allowed myself to go to the places I didn't dare when she was awake. I had to be strong for her; I had to show her that I had changed. Going back to my old brooding days wouldn't help to gain her trust back. I learned rather quickly since my return that Bella could read my face like a book. I had always thought that I hid my emotions from her rather well, but I knew now that wasn't the case. When I tried, I was met with such fury that it made me recoil. Bella wouldn't take anything other than the truth from me any longer. Trying to hide what was really wrong only hurt me because she would push me away and right now I couldn't take that kind of rejection.

I looked at Bella as she slept and marveled at the changes in her face. The changes were so subtle that I knew that any normal person wouldn't have seen it, but I did. The lines around her mouth were a little deeper, her skin a little less taut around her jaw line, and the smile lines around her eyes were slightly more defined. Those small changes didn't change how I viewed her. She was still the most beautiful creature I had ever laid my eyes on.

The changes in her features weren't the only thing that I had noticed. Her hips seemed more round and her breasts looked fuller. She had always been thin and still was, but there was a curvature to her body that told me she was no longer that gangly young teenager I had fallen in love with. She had grown into a woman and I had missed it...I had missed it all.

My brooding mood taking over, I let myself wallow in self pity for a while as she slept. How could I have been so stupid to believe that I could live without her? In leaving her, I had put her in the worst danger possible...right into the hands of a young werewolf. Then to top it all off, I had left her vulnerable to a crazed vampire who was out for revenge. I shuddered at the thought of what could have happened if Bella hadn't stumbled across Jasper at SPU. Irina had been living across the street from her for God knows how long, feeding information to Victoria. I owed Jasper...I owed him big time.

Bella shifted in her sleep and turned away from me. I felt the loss immediately.

The sun was beginning to rise and I knew she would be waking up soon. We were going to her apartment in Seattle for a few days before heading to the East Coast for Rosalie and Emmett's wedding. She wanted to go home and I was going with her. I was anxious to see how she lived, what her apartment looked like.

I decided to get up and go downstairs to make her breakfast. It was still early morning. She had said that she wanted to leave around 8am; it was now six in the morning, plenty of time to cook something and bring it to her before she needed to be up.

I busied myself in the kitchen making an omelet, bacon, and toast. The coffee was brewing as I set up the tray with her food. I found a vase under the sink and quickly put the fresh wild flowers I had picked into it and set it on the tray.

I heard the sound of the sheets rustling and knew that I was running out of time. I quickly poured the coffee and in my vampire speed ran up the stairs with the tray in my hands to her bedroom.

I opened the door quietly, knowing she was only in the beginning stages of waking up, and set the tray of food on the table next to the bed.

"Wake up, love," I whispered in her ear.

"Hmmm?" she moaned as she kicked her feet out from under the covers and stretched her legs.

I brushed the hair that had fallen over her face and whispered to her once again. "Bella, wake up, please. I made you breakfast in bed."

"It's too early," she whimpered as she rolled away from me.

"Bella...come on, now...you said you wanted to leave by eight o'clock." I lay down next to her and softly began peppering kisses along her collarbone. Her heart raced in her chest and I smiled at how little could get her going.

"If you don't stop that I don't think we'll ever leave," she moaned into her pillow.

"Promise?" I teased moving my way from her collarbone to her neck. "I could stay here forever."

Her heart raced as she rolled over, grabbed my hair, and pulled me up to look at her. She didn't say anything. She just looked at me with her big brown eyes before pulling me down to her lips. She kissed me slowly at first, barely touching my mouth with her own. She moaned, sending the vibrations across my lips.

"I missed this," she whispered as her lips ghosted across mine.

"Hmmm, me too, but we need to stop." I pulled away, eliciting another moan from Bella. This time it was a moan of frustration rather than pleasure.

I placed the tray of food in front of her. "Breakfast for the human," I teased, placing another chaste kiss on her lips.

"It looks delicious. Thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome."

We sat in silence while she ate and it was at times like these that I wished I could read her mind. I wanted to know what she was really thinking. Silence was not a sound that I was used to.

"Tell me what you are thinking," I implored her.

"I'm not thinking anything; I'm eating," she rebuffed.

"You don't just stop thinking," I chastised.

"Okay, fine...I was thinking about how good this food was, considering you don't eat it." She looked at me while taking a bite of her bacon.

"That's it?"

"Are you expecting more?"

"I guess I was," I replied, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Sorry to disappoint, Edward, but it's early in the morning. My brain needs time to wake up," she said as she took a sip of her steaming coffee. "This..." she started again, raising her cup, "is just what I need to do that."

"I can think of a better way to wake up your brain," I said teasingly.

I removed the tray from her lap, placing it on the floor. I crawled up her lap and kissed her lightly on the neck right at her pulse point. Her heart rate soared.

"Is your brain awake now?" I asked.

"Ummhmm," she moaned.

I moved my lips to the soft spot just below her ear and kissed her again. I inhaled her scent deeply into my lungs, ignoring the burn in my throat. Heavenly.

I captured her lips again and wrapped my arms gently around her, pulling her to me. I felt her nipples harden against my chest and I knew I needed to stop before I lost control. I wanted her...not her blood...her body. I needed to feel her against me, claim her as my own. I felt like a hormonal teenager.

I found that I was feeling other things as well. Emotions that I wasn't used to feeling...inadequacy. Bella was experienced. She had told me that she had laid with Jacob. She wasn't a virgin anymore, and although I had told her that it didn't matter, I knew that a part of me felt unsure of what I was doing. I was virginal vampire. I had the medical knowledge of what was supposed to happen and how it worked. I also had the vivid pictures in my mind of what it was like to be with a woman from my brothers. What I didn't have was first-hand experience. I worried about not being able to please her, forget about the fact that I could hurt her in the process. Would she compare me to Jacob?

Her moan shook me from my reverie and I pulled back. Her lips were swollen slightly from our kissing and her breathing was erratic. "Are you okay, love?"

"Someday, Edward Cullen, I am going to spontaneously combust. I need a cold shower," she huffed as she got up and hobbled into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

I stared at the closed door and ran my fingers through my hair. She was frustrated and rightly so. I had kissed her senseless then pulled away...again.

I heard the water in the shower come on and decided that I would grab her bag and begin packing her things. I went over to her dresser and pulled on the top drawer. Piles of pink cotton sprung out and I quickly shut the drawer. Deciding to let her pack her clothes herself, I paced around the room looking for some way I could help. I noticed some items on her nightstand and decided that I could help her pack those things instead.

I walked across the hall to look for a box. I found a small one in the closet and decided that it would be big enough for the small trinkets next to her bed. I made my way back across the hall to her room and began taking the small items off her dresser before moving over to her nightstand. I picked up a pair of her earrings and her copy of _Wuthering Heights _and placed it in the box. I opened the drawer and started putting the items in the box when a piece of paper caught my eye.

It was folded in half and had my name written in Bella's messy script across the top. I debated for a minute if I should put it back, but curiosity got the best of me. I opened the note and began reading. The words tore at my dead heart. When had she written this?

I laughed as she recounted our first meeting in the cafeteria. I read about the biology incident where I nearly killed her. She had even noticed the small pieces of the table that I had ground through my clenched fingers that day.

I smiled as I read about how she cherished our evenings when I would sing her to sleep. Those were my favorite times too.

When I reached the part in the letter about me leaving her, my breath caught and I forced myself to read further. It was the first time I felt I could understand what she had really been thinking. I couldn't make myself stop reading no matter how much it pained me to read it. She couldn't listen to music, and even a cool breeze reminded her of her loss. I had hurt her deeply. I cringed when she questioned if she was only a little pet to me. That was the furthest thing from the truth.

I finished reading the letter and realized that my shoulders were shaking. I had no tears to shed but knew that if I did, they would be falling freely from my eyes.

I was so lost in my emotions that I didn't hear the door to the bathroom open. I held the letter tightly in my hands. My back was to Bella as she entered the room. I heard her quiet footsteps from behind me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered so quietly I knew she wouldn't hear me.

I felt the bed shift when she sat down. "Edward?"

"I'm so sorry," I said louder this time. "I shouldn't have read it. I was trying to help you pack and I found this in the drawer." I handed the letter to her.

"Why are you sorry? I wrote it for you. Granted, I never thought you would actually read it," she added as an afterthought.

"Is this how you really felt?" I couldn't look at her.

"Yes," she answered simply. She took the letter from me and opened it up.

"When did you write it?"

"A few weeks ago...it was Jasper's idea. I was having a hard time letting go of my feelings." She chuckled to herself while she gently stroked the outside of the note.

"Jasper thought that by writing down your feelings that it would help you?"

"Yes."

"Did it? I mean...did writing how you felt make you feel better?" I lifted my eyes to look at her.

"Yes."

"I'm glad he was here for you...that he helped you..." I didn't know what else to say. I wanted her to know that I held no ill feelings toward Jasper. I was extremely grateful for all he had done.

We sat silently for a short while. Her hands played with the letter, opening and closing it at the fold. I didn't push her to speak and I was at a loss for words. It was her turn to talk. I would be patient.

"Aren't you going to ask what I'm thinking?" She looked into my eyes as she spoke.

"No," I answered honestly. "I think if you wanted me to know, you would tell me. I can wait."

She sighed and continued to play with the letter.

"I was hurting inside," she began, "and my emotions were causing Jasper a lot of pain. I guess that they were all over the place."

"This...," she said holding up the letter, "helped give me closure. I needed to put our relationship to rest and stop hurting. Jasper thought that writing a letter to you would be a good way to do that."

I stared at her as she continued to play with the letter. Her eyes lifted to mine and I could see the moisture pooling in her eyes.

"I'm trying, Edward. I'm trying to put the pain behind me. I want to be happy...I want to forget how badly it hurt when you left. I'm trying."

"I know," I whispered. "I want to help you be happy again. I want to put the past behind us and move on. What can I do for you, Bella? How can I help you?"

"You've already helped me," she answered hanging her head again. "You came back. You've been patient. You haven't pushed...well...not too much at least."

I chuckled at her last statement and took her hand in mine. I squeezed it gently and with my other hand I tilted her chin back up so I could see her eyes again. I wanted her to know the seriousness of what I was about to say...that I meant every word. As the tears threatened to escape again, I kissed her gently.

"I will never leave you again. I couldn't bear to be away from you. I felt like half of me was missing."

I looked at the letter in her hands and said, "I can't say that I don't have any regrets, because I have a lot of them, but I want you to know that I have never regretted meeting you...loving you. Together we will work through the pain I caused you. I'll be with you every step of the way...if you'll have me."

"Will that make you happy?" she asked.

"Immensely."

"Then I'll work through it with you." She gave the letter back to me and laid her head on my shoulder. Her wet hair soaked my shirt and it was at that time that I noticed she had nothing on but a towel.

"Bella, don't you think you should get dressed?" I finally managed to choke out.

She looked down at what she was wearing and back up at me, a large smirk running across her features. "I have a better idea," she crooned as she stood up and started removing her towel.

"Uh, Bella," I said shakily. "I-I c-can't."

"Lay down, Edward," she commanded.

I felt her push against me and even though I could have resisted, I realized that I didn't want to. I watched as she crawled over me in nothing but her towel. I felt the all too familiar tightening in my pants as she seductively moved to my face. Her brown eyes bore into mine and I saw something familiar in them...desire.

"Please don't deny me, Edward," she whispered so quietly I nearly missed it. "I want to show you how much I love you. Please...let me show you."

She kissed my neck and moved up to my jawbone, her hot breath sending electric currents down my body. How could I deny her anything?

_You'll hurt her! One touch could crush her?_ my mind argued.

_You want her. You have control. You want her,_ the other part rebuked.

"Bella, stop." My mind won over my other appendage.

"No," she stated as she continued kissing my cheek, my nose, my forehead.

"Bella...I'll hurt you."

"No, you won't. Hmm, you taste so good."

My pants twitched with her words. I was quickly loosing control over my body and didn't know how much longer I would be able to resist.

As if she were reading my mind, she said, "Don't resist...just let go...you won't hurt me. I need this...I need you. Please..."

As that one little word moved across her lips, my mind gave up. There was no use fighting it. I needed her too. I needed to show her how much I loved her. I quickly rolled her over and she yelped at the fast movement. Then I looked at her as a smile spread across her face. She knew she had won; I couldn't deny her anything.

She never took her eyes off of mine and I saw the lust and love swimming in them. "I love you...so much it hurts...if I hurt you at all...if it hurts one bit, you have to tell me."

She bit her lower lip and nodded her head slowly. I kissed her gently across her naked shoulder, causing goose bumps to rise on her already hot flesh. As I moved up her neck, planting kisses on the way, I heard a rumble in her chest. I looked up and saw that her eyes were closed, her lips slighted parted, and her breathing was fast. Small beads of sweat were forming on her forehead that normally weren't visible to the normal human eye, but my keen eyesight watched as they slowly made their presence. If this was how she was going to look when I was only kissing her, I couldn't wait to watch her come.

I took a deep breath again just below her ear and noticed that the burning was tolerable. The aroma of her arousal smelled sweet and sour at the same time and I lost myself in it. "God, love, you smell so good."

She mumbled something incoherent and I moved to capture her lips with my own. I was gentle at first, just lightly touching her lips with mine chastely, but I soon needed more. I pulled back and looked at her intently, begging her to tell me to stop before it was too late. Her eyes opened to mine and again she said that fateful word, "Please..."

I dived into her soft mouth with my tongue, lapping up every thing that was Bella. She was sweet like candy and I couldn't get enough. I felt the venom pool in my mouth and before she could taste too much, I swallowed it down. Her warm mouth had me hypnotized. Our tongues never fought for dominance; they danced a dance to a tune of their very own in her mouth, and I moaned deeply at the sensation.

Moving my body to the side so as not to crush her, I continued kissing her while my hand caressed her face and my thumb rubbed her soft cheek. I was ready to move on to the next base and touch her where I'd never touched a woman before. As I pressed my very hard erection into her thigh, I heard her gasp; not in pain, but in pleasure.

My hand left her cheek and started moving south very slowly. I wanted to take my time and build up her pleasure as my brothers had not so tactfully told me with their "lessons" in how to please a woman. I stopped at her shoulder and broke the kiss. "Breathe, Bella," I whispered lovingly as my hand gently unwrapped the towel she had put around her body. I watched her face as her breathing hitched again. Soon her body was fully exposed, sending a scent to my nose that was so intoxicating, I had to hold my breath. I didn't take my eyes off hers, but I was longing to see her, to look at her body.

Her hand reached up and cupped my cheek. I must have had a look of fear on my face because she gently rubbed my face and said, "You won't hurt me. I trust you. Breathe...take me in." I shook my head at her request and closed my eyes.

"Edward...you can do this. You won't hurt me."

I looked at her and saw the trust and love radiating from her eyes and I caved...I breathed her in. There was a tug of pain at my throat but nothing I wasn't used to. I felt the pressure building in my pants and my dick pulsed painfully in its confinement. I moved my eyes slowly from her face to her neck and finally rested on the perfect mounds of flesh that rose and fell with every breath she took. "Beautiful," I stated as my fingers grazed her delicate nipples. She shivered under my touch and her nipples stood at attention. I had to taste them.

I looked at her again and silently asked permission with my eyes. I knew they were black with lust and I hoped I wouldn't scare her but I needed to taste her...feel her nipples inside my mouth as I licked and sucked them.

She nodded her head slightly and moaned as my lips gently touched her pert nipples in a kiss. As I gently kissed her, she writhed and moaned below me. I took her other breast in my hand while I played, flicking and licking the other with my cool tongue. I switched my hand and mouth quickly capturing her other breast in my mouth and felt her nipple harden even more under my tongue. I could play with them all day, but I was ready for more.

I continued playing with her breasts, teasing her nipples by pinching them lightly and rolling them with my fingers. She moaned louder and I knew that she was enjoying herself. I had to remember to do that again. I moved down kissing her flat stomach, inching my way toward the scent that had run me over like a Mack truck. Her breathing was erratic and she continued to squirm.

I lifted my head and looked at her closely. Her flesh was beaded in sweat and was a beautiful pink color. Was it possible to blush from head to toe? My new favorite color was pink...the color of her skin when I touched her.

I kissed her just below her belly button and removed my hands from her breasts. I had to feel all of her. Her stomach was so soft and smooth and her hip bones protruded slightly. I felt the tightness of the side of her ass and couldn't wait to cup it in my hands. As I moved my hands down her soft legs and back up her inner thigh, her breathing became more labored. I stopped the movement and waited for her to catch her breath before continuing up to the juncture between her legs.

"Oh...God...Edward," she panted.

I rubbed my fingers gently down the slit and noticed that she was glistening there as well. She was wet and ready for me. I must have been doing something right. I looked at her soft folds with a small tuft of hair making an arrow to the slit where my fingers gently rubbed up and down and sighed. She was pure perfection. I wanted to taste her there too, but thought better of it. Her scent was so strong that I was afraid I would accidentally lose control if I did what my mind wanted me to. I would save that for another time, after I had fed.

I dipped my fingers and gently teased the swollen bundle of nerves while I inserted a finger inside her. She was dripping wet and very ready for the intrusion. I pumped my finger in and out and inserted another while playing with her clit at the same time. She moaned louder and I knew she was close to going over the edge. I stopped my movements. I wanted her to come with me inside. I wanted to feel her walls squeeze me as I moved within her.

I crawled up her body, leaving kisses as I went until I met her closed eyes. "Look at me, love," I gently commanded. She opened her eyes slowly and I smiled down at her. "I love you with all my heart."

"I love you too," she whispered.

I moved off her body and crossed my arms while grabbing the bottom of my shirt. As I was pulling it over my head, I felt Bella's fingers on mine and she helped me take it off. Her fingers laid a blazing trail across my cold shoulders and down my chest to the "V" near the waist of my pants. She looked at me through her lashes as she slowly unfastened the button. She was torturing me slowly with her movements across my abdomen as she tentatively pushed my pants down across my thighs. I helped her by kicking my shoes off; they landed with a thud on the floor.

The only barrier between us was my black boxers that were severely tented in my aroused state. Bella looked down, suddenly bit her lower lip, and looked at me again through her lashes. God! She was beautiful when she did that and my dick twitched with excitement.

I felt Bella's hands on my hips and soon her thumb was under the waistband of my shorts, pulling them off my body. My erection sprang to attention once freed from its confinement. I heard Bella swallow hard and take me in her warm hands. As her hands explored my body, a low growl escaped from my lips and I threw my head back.

"God, Bella!" I exclaimed with a lower tenor to my voice.

"You're so beautiful," she whispered as her fingers worked their magic on my throbbing shaft.

I growled again as she massaged me expertly. "Bella, you need to stop," I croaked. "I don't want to come yet."

I pushed her gently toward the bed and massaged her wet core again with my thumb. "Please stop me if I hurt you," I said as I hovered over her with my tip at her entrance.

I supported my weight on one arm and used my hand to gently force myself into her hot center. She was so slick and wet around me and at the same time extremely tight. I moved slowly into her and watched her facial expressions for any sign of pain. Her eyes squeezed shut tightly as I fully inserted myself into her. I paused to let her body get used to my intrusion and didn't move until her features relaxed.

"I'm okay, Edward," she whispered. "You can move now."

I moved out gently and thrust back in slowly relishing in the feel of her body around mine. We fit together perfectly...we were made for each other. How could I have denied myself this pleasure for so long?

Sweat beads began to form on her forehead again as she shifted her hips to allow for deeper penetration. I continued to move slowly but soon realized that she was thrusting up to meet me with more force. I quickened my movements and she slowed her hips and met mine thrust for thrust. I was in heaven. I felt the pressure building and knew that I needed to slow down before I released into her. I wanted to feel her come around me.

"Bella, I don't know how much longer I can last," I panted. "Come for me."

I shifted her hips so that they were higher in the air giving me access to the spot that should send her over the edge. I moved in her until I heard her moan in pleasure. _Ah-ha! I found it_. I thought to myself.

I kept her hips at the same angle as my dick rubbed the sensitive spot inside her. Realizing she was near her release, I gently put my thumb on her clit and rubbed it gently. Within a few short seconds, I felt her walls tighten around me and begin to pulse.

"Eddwwwarrrd!" she screamed as her climax overtook her.

That was all it took for me to reach my release. I shuddered as I thrust one more time, a little harder than I wanted to, and spilled into her. My body twitched as I felt my cock pulse with each tremor of release. Realizing that I had moved a little too roughly inside her the last time, I quickly pulled out and looked at her body for any signs of bruising.

"I'm fine, Edward...I'm better than fine," she cooed.

"Are you hurt?" I asked my voice shaking.

"No, I'm wonderful...you were...you were wonderful,"

I lay down beside her and pulled her into my arms. "God, Bella...there aren't words to describe how I am feeling right now."

"I know...," she said yawning.

"Rest, love...we can always leave tomorrow. We are in no hurry."

"I think I will rest my eyes for a while," she said sleepily.

I hummed her lullaby and listened as her heart slowed and her breathing became even. It was at that moment that I realized that there must be a heaven...because I was living in it.


	25. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: Still don't own them…but sure do love to play with them.**

**A/N: First of all, I need to apologize for the looonnnngg delay in posting. Life sometimes gets in the way...work, school, basketball...the list goes on, but to you they would only be excuses. **

**Okay people…this is it…sad but true. Every good story must come to an end. I want to thank those of you that have faithfully reviewed my story all the way through…You know who you are. I also encourage you to go over to Twilighted and read my story there. As my writing improved, I decided to submit my story on their site to see if I could get more readers. I have to say…to this point I have 24 chapters posted and over 600 reviews! The reason I am telling you this? Well…I changed a few things and added a few things that were missing from the chapters as I originally posted them on FF. Eventually I hope to have them both the same, but that takes a while. Thanks to all of you that have read and added me as a favorite author…I would be really happy to get a review from everyone that has me listed under the story alerts or author alerts…PLEASE? Enough begging…on with the finish!**

**A special thanks goes out to my friend...Admittedly Obsessed.**

**Edit: I have finished replacing the chapters on FF with the ones that I had over on Twilighted. Thanks to those who have faithfully read my story!**

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EsmePOV

I truly believe that life teaches us lessons that we don't realize until we are in the middle of them, experiencing all they have to offer. Life's lessons are never easy and sometimes it takes coming around full circle for us to realize the instruction we are supposed to learn from them. Sometimes it takes something unexpected slapping us in the face to realize what we need to know so we can learn from our mistakes.

_We are nearly complete._ I thought to myself as I looked around the room at my children. The only two that were missing were Edward and Bella. Edward had phoned the day before telling us that they would be arriving sometime this afternoon. I couldn't contain the excitement that I felt as I realized that our family would once again be together.

I looked over at Jasper and watched the smile grow on his face as his wife bounced up and down next to him.

"Only 5 minutes and 43 seconds before she gets here!" Alice proclaimed.

Emmett looked up from the magazine that he was looking at with Rose and smirked, "Damn, Jasper! Get a rein on your woman, man. She's like a Goddamn pogo stick!"

"Emmett…" I chastised.

"Sorry," he replied softly.

My family has had its fair share of ups and downs; of course it hasn't been without a few bumps in the road.

The past three years have been very difficult for us. Edward's decision to leave his soul mate not only affected him but the rest of us as well. It was the second time in my life that I felt powerless to what God, or whatever higher being you believe in, had planned for our lives. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I felt hopeless as I watched my son delve deeper into the darkness that surrounded him. He had lost his light; his reason for living.

To add fuel to the fire, Jasper had left the family shortly after we had relocated. He couldn't handle the emotions…the sadness and guilt…that permeated every aspect of the family. As soon as he made his decision, Alice had seen it and was powerless to stop him. Like any other man, when Jasper had his mind made up, there was no changing his direction.

I sat back and was forced to watch my family fall apart piece by piece. Powerless to help them in their pain…unable to take the grief away from them…I felt incapable as a mother. Although I hadn't birthed my children, I couldn't help my maternal instincts when it came to my sons and daughters. Their happiness and well-being was always put before my own. They were my life, and to let go and let them live had been the most difficult thing I had ever faced.

Jasper had come home two weeks ago. Carlisle and I were out hunting when he had arrived. We had no warning from Alice, but yet we couldn't know for sure if she had a premonition about him coming home or not. After seeing her husband die in her last vision, we knew that she no longer looked ahead for him. Carlisle had told her that he was fine, but you could see in her eyes that she had given up hope that she would ever see him again.

As Carlisle and I walked through the door hand in hand, I could sense a change in the air. There was an electric feeling to it that hadn't been there before. I knew my husband had felt it too because he gently squeezed my hand as soon as we had entered and looked at me with knowing eyes.

"Someone's come home," he had whispered quietly.

I felt Carlisle squeeze my hand shaking me out of my reverie. "Are you alright, dear?"

"I will be," I answered truthfully.

"Two minutes, 13 seconds."

The excitement was palpable in the air. Jasper shifted in his seat and pulled Alice onto his lap in an attempt to calm her down. "You're wound so tight, Darlin'. It's killing me," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry, Jaz," she answered. "I just can't wait to see her."

"I know, Darlin…I know." Jasper gently patted her knee.

Their reunion had been far from perfect, but I knew they were on their way to healing their relationship. Alice wasn't quite over her fears. I knew she still worried every time Jasper left the house. He was patient with her; encouraging her with words and kisses, but I could see it in her eyes every time he left to hunt or to even take a walk that she was still afraid he would leave her again.

I had noticed a big change in Jasper since his return. It wasn't as though he wasn't attentive to Alice before he left, but it seemed that now the way he attended to her every need was done in a way that seemed reverent. It wasn't that he didn't respect her before, but now he didn't take any thing for granted. He could feel her apprehension when he needed to be alone for a while, and was able to reassure her and still get his time. It was obvious to me that the time Jasper had spent with Bella hadn't only been helpful to her but also to him as well. I was proud of my son.

I was also very proud of Edward. I learned from my discussions with Jasper that he hadn't made it easy on Edward to waltz back into Bella's life. It seemed the tables had turned for a time and Jasper felt the need to protect Bella from Edward. While Edward was anxious to dive back into a relationship with Bella, Jasper had learned first hand the pain we had caused her and felt it best to keep him away for a time. Edward kept his temper in check and listened to his brother.

I looked over at Alice who was bouncing up and down on Jasper's legs. Her smile was infectious and lit her entire face. I couldn't help but smile back as I watched her hop off his lap and run to the window. The faint sound of tires on gravel drifted toward my ears, followed by an excited Alice screaming, "She's here! She's here!"

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JPOV

Before I could stop her, Alice had barreled out the door and down the driveway towards Edward's car. Her excitement could not be contained no matter how many calming waves I sent her way. I laughed and shook my head while shrugging my shoulders, "Alice is back." I mumbled quietly.

"That she is," Esme replied chuckling with me.

Carlisle set his book down next to him, patted Esme's leg and said, "Shall we?"

I watched as he stood up, taking her hand in his. They walked slowly to the door that Alice had left wide open.

Rosalie continued to look at her magazine as Emmett started grumbling to himself. I could tell by the emotions she was emitting that she had no intention of moving from her spot. Emmett was impatient and although he had seen Bella only two weeks prior, the excitement was coming off of him in waves.

"How long are you going to look at that magazine?" he asked skirting around the subject of Bella.

Without taking her eyes off the pages she replied, "If you want to go see your human pet, go right ahead. I'm not stopping you."

"Rose, please…"

Rosalie huffed indignantly. I could tell she was annoyed the attention was off her and once again on Bella. Emmett shook his head, slowly stood up, and extended his hand. "Rose…?" He wasn't taking no for an answer. Rosalie grumbled again, put the magazine down and took Emmett's hand. "Fine," she mumbled angrily. I couldn't help but giggle at the two of them. Rosalie may think she wore the pants in their relationship, but I could tell by watching them how much clout Emmett really had.

I watched as they joined the others outside. I stayed back and relished in the quietness of the room. There weren't any emotions swimming around me…just calm. I was home and the family was together again. I walked over to the window and watched as my bouncy wife nearly plowed Bella over with her excitement. Edward shook his head and left Bella's side to hug Esme and shake hands with Carlisle.

Alice was talking with Bella and I knew she was having a hard time keeping up with her incessant chatter. Bella scanned the yard as though she were looking for someone. She frowned but quickly put on a smile when Esme walked over to her and took her into her motherly embrace. As Esme hugged Bella her eyes searched again and found mine. The smile that spread across her face was infectious and I found myself smiling back.

I moved away from the window and sat on the chair facing the fireplace. I watched as the flames gently licked the logs, the firelight caressed the walls around the room and sent a warm glow that made the room feel inviting and homey…just like Bella.

Never in all my years did I think that I would be close to a human, and I found that being away from Bella, even though it had only been a couple of weeks, caused an ache inside me that I wasn't accustomed to feeling. Every instinct I had went against having a bond with her, but somehow she had broken past all of the barriers and had wormed her way into my life and the lives of my family effortlessly. She belonged here…with us…and I was thankful that I had an understanding of her that went beyond what I had known before.

I heard the door open and the soothing scent of freesias and strawberries that I had grown quite fond of hit my senses.

"And we are going to go shopping. Oh! And we need to go to the spa. There's a really good one not far from here," my wife chatted to Bella as they walked into the living room.

I stood up and made my way over to where Bella was standing. "There will be plenty of time for that, Alice," I addressed my excited wife as she jumped up and down beside me. I placed my hand on her shoulder and sent a wave of calm through her.

"Edward," I said as I extended my hand to my brother. "it's good to see you again."

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me into a manly hug, patting me on the back. "I owe you my life, Jasper," he whispered softly.

Bella watched our exchange and smiled before clearing her throat to get our attention. I pulled away from Edward and looked at her. "I didn't realize how much I would miss you, Bella," I stated as I hugged her gently. I felt love, contentment, and happiness radiate from her small body as she let go of our embrace.

"I missed you too, Jasper."

Alice grabbed her hand and led her to the large sofa. I sat down next to Alice and Edward sat on the other side of Bella, immediately taking her hand in his. I could tell that something big had happened while they had been alone and I had to admit that it thrilled me to see my brother so happy. I was proud of the fact that even though I had been the reason initially for their separation, I had also been the one that had helped them get back together. I could feel the strength of their relationship, and hoped that their bond would continue to grow over time. I was also hoping that Edward would let go of his inhibitions about changing Bella. They deserved to be together for eternity.

"Hey Edward," Emmett bellowed, eyebrows raising up and down, "So…? That smile plastered on your face tells me that someone isn't a prude anymore…care to share?"

I looked over at Bella whose face was flaming redder than the fire in the fireplace and chuckled. She ducked her head into Edward's shoulder as he growled at Emmett.

"Doesn't matter anyway…I am sure if you really know what you are doing, we will hear all about it tonight!"

_Thwack!_

"Ouch! Damn Rose, I was just having a little fun," he whined rubbing the back of his head.

"Shut the fuck up, Em, and help me pick out the table runners."

"Some things never change," I muttered to myself shaking my head.

We sat around the living room for the next couple hours talking about what Bella had been doing before running into me. She talked candidly about how she had felt when we had left, and the part Jacob had played in helping her through the tough times. Her face fell and I felt the sadness she was feeling when she talked about him. I knew that they had a falling out of sorts as soon as I had come back into her life. I didn't blame Jacob for not sticking around…I didn't want to be around him either…but I could see how much it had hurt Bella.

Edward gently squeezed her hand as she finished telling her story. She smiled then and turned to me. "I moved to Seattle to go to college and well…the rest is history."

"And they all lived happily ever after," Rosalie huffed, "Now…will someone please help me pick out my damn table runners?"

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BPOV

I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and sighed. The same reflection stared back at me but there were some subtle changes that I couldn't help but notice. There was a light in my eyes that made them look alive, and the dark circles that used to have residence under them had nearly disappeared. My skin, although still pale, had a pale pink hue around my cheeks, and a glow that I hadn't noticed before. I looked happy…and I was.

I heard the rustling of sheets in the next room and finished with my human moment before stepping out of the room. I turned off the light and walked into the bedroom. Edward was lying on the bed in a pair of black silk pajama pants. He looked like a god with his hands behind his head, his golden orbs staring right through me. He was smiling at me but it wasn't quite a smile, it was a smirk and he looked adorable.

I stood frozen in place, unable to move because of the sight in front of me. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until I heard Edward whisper, "Breathe, love."

Edward patted the space next to him and I slowly made my way over to the bed. For some reason, my nerves were getting the best of me. Emmett's comment about Edward's smile earlier reverberated in my mind causing my checks to flame once again. We were no longer alone, in fact we were in a house of vampires that never slept and had impeccable hearing.

"What are you thinking?" Edward said quietly as I got under the covers and snuggled into his side.

"I was thinking about how we are no longer alone and how your parents, brothers and sisters have wonderful hearing," I replied as my cheeks flamed more.

"Bella," he said as his finger lifted my chin. I looked at him through my lashes and saw him smile. "We don't have to do anything that'll make you feel uncomfortable."

He bent down and gently kissed my nose.

While in Seattle, I had relished the time we spent together, but the time I loved the most was bed time. It was while in bed that Edward and I would have our deepest conversations. He opened up to me like he never had before. For the first time, I truly felt like he was honest with me. His guard was finally down and because of that he was more relaxed. Sometimes we would talk about the time he was gone and although I knew it pained him to hear the truth about what his decision did to me, he would listen and sooth me when the tears would fall. I was healing more day by day.

There were also moments where he would tease and explore my body in ways that I never knew was possible. His touch was always gentle and he would worship me in ways that showed me how much he loved me. Those were my favorite moments, not because of the pleasure that I felt as he made love to me, but mainly because he was free and no longer afraid to touch me in the way that I had longed for him to do so long ago.

I sighed deeply and kissed his cool lips. "I'm so happy, Edward."

He squeezed me gently. "Me too, love…me too."

I laid quietly in his arms for a few minutes as he gently stroked my hair and hummed my lullaby. I thought about all the changes that had happened between us and how I wouldn't change any thing that had happened over the past three years. All of the pain, heartache, and tears had made me stronger. I had developed a very close relationship with Jasper, and that wouldn't have happened without Edward's decision. I cherished the time that Jasper and I spent together and loved him like a brother. Together we had worked through the pain of our past and had made it to the other side…content and happy. The only thing that could make me happier…? I knew the answer to that question, but had yet to bring it to Edward's attention.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love."

I sat up and instant missed the contact. "I need to ask you something."

He looked at me with concern on his face. "What is it?"

I twisted and played with my fingers as I hung my head. I wasn't sure how to bring this subject up and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin the atmosphere we had, but I needed to tell him what was on my mind. He needed to know how I felt.

"Bella…," he soothed as he unclasped my tangled fingers and took my hands in his. "You can tell me anything. What do you need?"

I looked up and mouthed one word very quietly, "Eternity."

The silence lingered and I was afraid of what was going through his head. The last time I had mentioned becoming like him we had come to an impasse or at least that is what he had called it at the time. I had been ready, albeit I was very nervous and foolishly thought that he was dressed up in a tux to turn me. I didn't know he was taking me to the prom. When I told him I was ready to become like him, he didn't get angry but did call my bluff. My racing heart gave me away.

The second time I brought it up was on the way to my birthday party. He had asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I remember he had distinctly wanted to buy me an Audi, but then asked what I really wanted. When I told him he had frowned his disapproval and had said that it wasn't going to be my last birthday. Little did we know that it very nearly was and a few days later he had left.

Now I was kneeling in front of him asking him again to give me something that I knew he struggled with. I hoped that our relationship had moved past the early years and that we would be able to rationally talk about the subject, but as the seconds of silence dragged on, I wasn't so sure.

"Edward?"

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. "Is that what you really want?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I don't want to waste any more time. I love you and want to spend eternity with you. We've been through so much, Edward, please…"

His hands grasped my face while his thumbs gently stroked my cheeks. "I can't deny you any longer. If this life is what you truly want…I won't stand in your way."

"Thank you," I sighed as I pressed my lips to his. "We don't have to do it tonight you know. I really just wanted to know that I had that option available to me."

"When ever you are ready, love, just let me know and I will make the arrangements." He moved away from me and laid back on the pillow. He smiled his crooked grin and opened his arms to me. I snuggled back into his embrace and kissed his chest. He tasted sweet and smelled even better. I continued placing soft kisses on his torso and heard him moan very quietly.

"Bella, you are driving me crazy."

"Hmm?" I feigned innocence and giggled while wrapping my arms around him.

"I hear you!!!" Emmett yelled from down the hall.

_Thwack!_

"Ouch!"

My face burned and I immediately moved away from Edward.

He giggled.

"Come here, Bella…let me hum you to sleep. We have plenty of time for extracurricular activities."

I moved back into Edward's arms and pulled the blankets over my shoulders. "We have forever."

"Forever," he whispered as he began to hum my lullaby. He placed a kiss on my head and hugged me tight.

That night I had a dream…I dreamed of my prince, in a meadow, making love to me under the stars…I dreamed of Edward.

**The End**

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A/N: Reviews are my best friend. I would love to hear from everyone that has me on alert...am I asking too much? I am currently working on another story that I hope to post here in the near future. Thanks again to all of you that have supported me! This adventure has been so much fun.


	26. Words about DID

Ya, I know…sucky author's note…but how else was I going to tell my awesome readers that have posted my story "These Dreams" as a favorite, that I have re-posted the first two chapters of "Devil In Disguise?" I am off for the summer and hope you all will give this story a chance...again. This past year has been VERY stressful and I couldn't find time to write. I will be posting up to Chapter six pretty quickly (for those of you who haven't read that far), after that it will be a little more sporadic. I am a mom, you know? I have chapter seven completed and ready to post and have some great ideas where to go with this story. Please go to my profile and read!

Jbluvs2sing (and again…write!)


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